I Want to Live Not Just Survive
by ScarletWingedSquid
Summary: Bella Swan has a secret. She's not really Bella Swan. Her name is Vorone Komarov, and she is known as The Raven... A criminal runaway who is wanted, dead or alive by the Roevincan government. She hides away in a high school at Forks to keep her profile low, but she soon meets an unsuspecting stranger who's life will soon end. And only she can save him. WARNING: Completely AU.
1. In Shade and Shadows

**So... My very first fanfiction ever... Please feel free to review, I'd really like your opinion on this. I can see how you are wondering how this relates to Twilight, but here's a quick hinter... Vorone actually becomes Bella Swan. **

Chapter: I

12:00. That was a special time for all of us prisoners. It's exactly two hours after lights out; many are slumbering peacefully in the thick, oily darkness. Others who are not sleeping tend to more personal matters that require more privacy, like using the John or planning a personal escape route.  
You see, once you're imprisoned, you begin to realize that freedom is hard to obtain once lost; midnight compares to a mystic fairy tale—even if it means being alone in a dark grimy cell. Being a seventeen year old girl in a jail cell leaves you ample time to dream, I still dream of fairy tales.

At the enchanting hour of midnight, I bolted up from the wooden cot I had pretended to sleep in for the past two hours and stretched my stiff back and shoulders. I swung my legs out of the cot and let my feet touch the cold, concrete floor. My slim hand reached between the crevices in the grimy rock wall and I used a fingernail to scrape out the small tool that had taken me six months to obtain—a paper clip. Most people take paper clips for granted; not quite keeping track of how many you started out with, rather, how many you have left.  
That's what happened to the guard, anyways, who hadn't noticed he had dropped it near my cell. An impish smirk carved my lips in reminiscence as I crept across the cold cement floor barefooted. I didn't want to risk the shuffling sounds my shoes would've made while crossing the floor. The darkness that seemed to hang in the air made the surroundings hard to see, especially since everything in the national prison was painted a thick, stormy grey. I pressed my face as close to the bars as I possibly could get, wedging my cheek between the space as I peered out of my cell.

_Just as I thought._ The guards were no where in sight, sleeping in their designated offices. Once reassured, I raised my slim hand to the rusted lock, feeling for the sought keyhole. _Ah. there it is…_ I opened the paperclip with my teeth, and picked at the rusted lock nimbly—this would be a chance that would come once in my entire life sentence (if I was lucky, at that.) I was not going to waste my chance now.  
_Come on..._ My silent plea was emphasized with a bead of sweat that trickled down my face despite the icy draft. Leaning my body against the bars for a better angle, my nose was pressed so close to the rust, I could almost taste the metal on my tongue. I flicked the twisted metal back and forth between the keyholes, almost giving up until I heard the reassuring click.

I froze, holding my breath as I waited in the agonizing silence. No alarm went off. I sighed in relief, almost snickering to myself sheepishly. I should have known that this run-down shack they call a federal prison wasn't armed, and was just as simple as it looked.  
With a shaking hand, the bars to my cell was pushed aside tentatively. When they were finally ajar, I exhaled the breath I hadn't realized I held even holding in the dead silence. Excitement traveled through me at an unnerving rate. How I loved midnight.

My dirty foot gingerly stretched out to touch the smooth linoleum floor outside of my cell. The amazement only lasted a moment-I had no time to waste. I slung my small bag across my shoulders and started moving.

In an almost unconscious subtlety, I constantly looked down at my feet, afraid that my silent tread would have woken a lion. My wide eyes scanned the darkness in paranoia for the smudged faces behind the other cells. Thank God everyone was asleep. Now that my hysteria was somewhat contained, I focused my eyes on one thing as I walked down the cold hallway—the emergency fire escape. My emergency life-sentence escape.

In an instant, I was standing before the metal door to freedom. I knelt down to the floor, picking at the doorknob for only a moment, and unlocked the door with the same precision I had displayed at my cell. I grasped the handle, and swung open the door, which surprised me with its mass—it was definitely much heavier than it appeared. The door opened noiselessly but simultaneously in sync to the sudden horn that startled me. _So this was where their alarm is, _I thought grimly. _No use panicking now_.

The siren continued ringing ceaselessly as I jumped onto the narrow fire escape, with no other choice but to hope it was stable. A blast of cold night air raised goose bumps on my arms as I landed skillfully on the un-railed fire escape—my equilibrium just barely managed to catch itself before my toes could slip off of the slippery metal grating.  
I sucked in a breath, staring down at the modest strip of city below me—the cars looked like tiny miniature replicas from here, the people appeared to be mocking ants.  
_Oh God... That is a long way down,_ I noted, taking a vigilant step back. I hadn't realized the prison building was at least a story tall. The narrow ladder—my only escape from the small landing—was made of rusted metal and looked as if it could topple at any second.

The siren blared in my ears tauntingly; I had little time left—I had to grasp the ladder. By the time my numb feet had settled onto the first bar, the now-aroused guards rushed into the fire escape, beady eyes meeting mine with cognizance.  
_Oh no. That can't be good…_  
"Vorone Komarov! Stop right there—" Whatever they were saying couldn't possibly catch my attention now—I couldn't risk being arrested again. I peered behind my shoulder slyly, noticing that the worn-down structure opposing the prison wasn't too far away.

What I contemplated within milliseconds was a risky and possibly foolish plan, but I was willing to take the dice with both hands, and hope for double or nothing. After all, I lived to survive, and I couldn't survive another sixty years eating slop and chum in a rotten jail cell. With another quick glance behind me, my hands clenched around the ladder and I pushed off of the wall with my feet.

The ladder lurched from the sudden momentum, and then teetered backwards. My knuckles on the ladder were white from the exertion I had no choice but to give. _Please work, please work…_ I pleaded to every god I could possibly remember studying from childhood as the ladder's velocity accelerated—the wind suddenly whistled between the bars of the falling ladder. My heart beat drummed in my chest to emphasize the speed of how quickly the world was turning in this instant. If there was a way I could make it out of this so-called "plan," it could only mean that a miracle had occurred. My eyes squeezed shut as the wind that broke around me whipped the long tendrils of my dark hair into my face.

My eyes snapped open when the ladder stopped abruptly—leaving me to dangle off of the metal by my fingers. When the reverberate cannonade of glass shattering and concrete crumbling sounded, I realized that somehow, my plan had worked, and I had made it out alive.

The ladder had fallen over to hit the building across from the prison at an angle, (somehow identical to the one I had conjured in my plan) and it conveniently hung over the prison wall, barbed with electrocuted wire. I took in slow deep breaths, as I promised myself not to look down at the scene below my hanging body, which promised a great fall. I remembered the eerie childhood song that had always frightened me since I was little. _London Bridge is falling down… Falling down…_

I snapped out of the memory to shift my shuddering hands to the side of the ladder, and I inched my hands across the angled railing. My palms burned, protesting beneath the friction of the metal. My hands—equally as threatening—urged to risk a fall, but I didn't dare to release my grip until I was a few feet shy of the ground.

The fall was short, and was halted expertly with the reassuring thud of my feet against dirt ground. I glanced down at the bloody mess I had made of my pale hands, with a wince, but snapped my head back up, nevertheless. The guards were out of sight, probably taking the elevator down to the ground floor, which only meant one thing.

I had little time.

My legs broke out in a rhythmic sprint as I ran for my life, all over again. The small cell I'd been confined to hadn't allowed my muscles to move freely, and a burning strain quickly developed on the back of my calves—against my own will, I didn't adjusting my pace.

A quick glance behind my shoulder reassured me; the officers hadnt caught up to me yet. I snapped my head forward, and my lips barely uttered a curse—I had failed to notice the police car stopping my tracks before me in the narrow road.  
"Vorone Komarov, you are under arrest! Put your hands—" I sucked in a deep breath of ice air and bent my tensed muscles, letting them spring and recoil. I leapt over the police car, without leaving a scratch on its pristine exterior surface. It only took the authorities a moment in defiance to my lead, to start their car and tail me. With each second, they grew closer, and closer… Fear seemed to ooze out of my pores.  
"Oh god, Vorone,_ think!" _I hissed to myself in desperation, between the puffs of air I was exhaling. "Okay," I sounded like a mentally challenged person, wheezing to myself while running like my life depended on it. No pun intended. _I'll just sort out my facts…_ "Today is the 17th of October, a Wednesday. _A Wednesday._" Just my luck—the homeless Roevincans held their black market bazaars every third Wednesday of the month, and the bazaar was located only a block away, opposing the road I was on now. The horns on the police car continued blaring, creating a ringing in my ears.

I sprinted with all of the energy I had left, into a narrow alleyway that would take me to the other side of town. The narrow entranceway provided a small opening that the police car couldn't follow, but I could fit through with ease. The metal fence seemed to be a gateway to heaven for me, right now. With every stride I took into the alley, the sounds of the siren grew distant, and in the comforting darkness, I finally trotted to a stop, putting my hands on my knees, trying to catch my breath.

In the seclusion of the alleyway, I stripped out of the bright orange jumpsuit, to let it fall to the ground with a slight rustle. The thin clothing I wore beneath were grimy and plastered to my skin, but anything was better than being recognized by the hideous orange, (although that did mean I had to find clothes later.) I stepped over the bundle before I could be tempted to sit and rest on top of it. Pulling the drawstring open to my bag, I peered at the meager contents—an old teddy bear with black button eyes from a fallen friend and spare paper clips. Doesn't hurt to be prepared.

Finding my way through the darkness of the alleyway wasn't hard; I had snuck into the bazaar a few times before—this was no different. While walking through the alleyway, I came across a thin laundry line, with a few thin sweaters and trousers. I thankfully borrowed a pair of each, sending a silent prayer to the person who owned these clothes. I buttoned the garments on as I walked. The colors of the worn clothing were dull, and completely mismatched, but I was nevertheless happy with them. _Beggars cannot be choosers? Was that the American phrase?_ I shook my head at myself and continued walking, letting my hand trail the gritty brick walls.

Once I was at the end of the alleyway, the walls seemed to open up, letting the sounds and smells of a bustling city overwhelm my senses.

I let out a sigh of relief, knowing I was much safer than I was moments before. The people who crowded around bazaars and markets were usually street people—people who couldn't afford clothing from department stores. I was glad for that—my rugged clothes blended in nicely with their color-leeched rags.  
I'd never claim that it is easy to hide, but it is definitely more leisurely than running for your life, to say the least. A slight glance over my shoulder told me I was safe—there were too many people around me; I would not be recognized for at least an hour in this crowd. A smile crept onto my lips as I breathed in the icy air happily.

I was finally free…

I almost scolded myself aloud for thinking that—_you'll _never _be free, Vorone._ Just because I wasn't imprisoned anymore, that didn't mean I could be off my guard... No, I'd have to build my walls higher and stronger than ever.

_I was born to survive. Not to live_. I reminded myself strictly, turning east; headed towards the borderline fence between Roevinca and American territory.

That's where I would survive. I walked proudly at the time, never believing that in a few days, I would lose my life again.

**For those of you that survived reading such a long chapter...**

**THANK YOU SO MUCH, from the bottom of my heart for taking time from your day to read my writing. Brookiel1611, thanks so much for your review, your wish is my command ;D The next chapter is now out, so please go ahead and read+review! The next chapter is from Edward Cullen's perspective... Hope you enjoy! **

**:3, your Squid**

—


	2. The Runaway

**Chapter II! Alright, hope you enjoy this one; its a small take on Edward's perspective, right before he meets Bella. (That happens in Chapter III)**

**Have fun! Much love, Your Squid.**

-Edward POV-

"Mom, are we there yet?" I didn't mean to sound like a complaining three year old, but the heat was killing me.  
"No, Edward," she replied with a sigh.

The minivan was so cramped up back here; Claire, Alice and I were sweating buckets. My cell phone was probably imprinted to my jeans in my back pocket, from being sat on for so long. Alice's was too, I'm sure—if not for the lack of signal in this desert, she would be texting away. I turned in the cramped seat to see what Claire was up to—like most toddlers, she possessed a natural gift to entertain herself no matter the circumstances.  
Claire's small hands were clamped around the waist of a blonde Barbie—she giggled happily, but despite the lack of complaint from Claire, a fine sheen of sweat shone on her round baby face. I shifted my weight uncomfortably to peer at Alice. I immediately regretted my glance as she shot a glare towards me. Alice's arms were crossed, her shell-pink lips pouted abjectly—displaying her obvious despise for road trips with extreme climates. Alice wasn't usually moody, we usually got along—however, I knew better than to talk her out of her mood now.  
Noticing the awkward silence, Mom chimed in with a bright smile.  
"Edward, have you ever been to a place like this?" Mom asked casually.  
"No, Mom. Never." My reply was simple and short. I didn't mean to sound rude, it's just that the heat was killing me. I never understood why this side of America was closest to the freezing Roevinca, yet had the hottest desert in between.  
"Oh." She replied, turning awkwardly in her seat. The wrinkles in her forehead more prominent when she was enervated...

"We're here!" Dad chimed cheerfully. The van lurched to a slow stop as we finally reached the Borderline between Roevinca and America, (the reason why we came on this hot, sweaty, road trip.)  
"I'm so excited!" Mom squealed. "I haven't been here since your father and I..."  
She trailed off as her eyes focused on the gates between the borderline. I followed her gaze—my own mouth dropped open a little—the gates were sealed shut, guards stood in front of the locks. Dad frowned; he rolled down the window to speak with a guard.  
Dad's murmured, and the guard spoke broken English in response.

With his r's rolling and his voice-snappy yet euphonious at the same time-it wasn't a surprise that Roevincan was the most difficult languages to learn.  
"_What?_" My dad exclaimed. "Roevinca is not allowing in and out? This can't be."  
"Government order," The guard answered curtly. "There's a dangerous criminal escaped."  
"Oh, that's awful," Mom said with a frown, her red lips turned downwards at the news.  
"If you'd like to wait, ma'am, we could provide you with a more detailed picture of the criminal. This," He gestured to a pink flyer in his hands. "-Is only a sketch. If you can find The Raven, dead or alive, she's worth thousands of dollars." He pushed the flyer towards dad, and he frowned in response.  
"No, no thank you. We'd rather not be involved." Dad said curly, pushing back the flier he'd tried to hand to him. Forced to leave the premises, we were promised another very long, grumpy car ride home.  
After the windows were rolled up, mom hissed,  
"Honey! You could have at least looked at the flier! Finding a wanted woman could help the government very much!" He frowned.

"Esme, I'd rather not help the government."  
"Why not?" Oh no, here we go again. There was a childlike longing about my mom-she wants to help everyone out, even if it's between two countries that have been fighting for decades. Dad sighed.  
"You see Esme," He explained carefully, for probably the fifth time in two hours. "You know the war that went on for five years between Roevinca and America? Where Roevinca asked to be a part of the expanded territory of America but we rejected them?"  
An eager nod came in response.  
"Well, Roevinca wasn't happy about that. And our government—should they find out we are involved in any way, with Roevinca and its citizens—will be very, very angry."  
My mom frowned. "Carlisle, when did the war stop?"  
"Three months ago, both sides declared neutrality, but neither wants another war. We are not helping Roevinca, and that is final!" He emphasized. My dad isn't an angry person at all. He works as a doctor, I think it causes him to over thinks things. That must be why he loves nature and road trips and fishing so much. There's nothing to over think, you can simply lose yourself in the lush green simplicity.  
I wondered what it would be like for the criminal, who was being hunted. I wondered what the lady had done to be in jail. Did she really deserve to be hunted like this? Being wanted dead or alive?

* * *

-Vorone POV-

Running, running. The scorching heat of the desert sand seemed to seep through my thin shoes as I ran. I wanted to take the alternate route to America, but I couldn't risk someone seeing me. I shuddered despite the heat, just at the thought of that.

Running across a hot desert gives you lots of time to yourself. Almost too much. My mind shifted through thoughts as if I were a computer, automatically processing thoughts without an emotion. Oh, well, I guess that's how I've been for a while now. A shell of a person.

The streets of Roevinca, with it's indigent buildings, and grimy faces chiseled from hunger, changes you. Once you walk through streets wearing rags, in the winter, when you're hungry, everything changes. When you see mothers begging, trying to feed their babies without any milk in their flaccid breasts, you know you're changing. When you pass by the next week, and see the mother's corpse still clinging onto the weakly crying child, you'll feel yourself changing, growing a new layer after layer of burdens, without ever shedding them.

When you see the child die, and you feel nothing, that's when you've changed.

Death happened so often. If you let yourself feel something, you're slowly scarring yourself from the inside-out. You may as well save yourself by feeling nothing. Before I even knew it, one day, as I was walking, I was mumbling to myself, crazed with hunger.

"I was meant to survive not to live... Not to live... Not to live..." Thats when you know you've changed.

* * *

I was a few towns away from my destination, the small town called Forks.

"Thank God..." I sighed. I staggered to the nearby creek and knelt to scoop up the water in my hands. I allowed myself to close my eyes as I savored the taste of the clean, cool water... Such a luxury was usually hard to find, especially in the woods, and I sighed. Leaning back on my elbows, I closed my eyes and thought hard.

I needed a name.

I certainly couldn't be "Vorone Komarov" anymore... I wanted to choose an American name, it would raise less questions, and my profile would have to retain as little audience as it possibly could. American... That word held a special place in my heart, for me. It meant so many things... Freedom, land...Friendship. I had only had one friend before, and she was American. Her name was Dawn, she was beautiful, with golden ringlets for her hair, so different from my dull, dark hair. God bless her soul... I remembered her voice now... "I miss my mother sometimes... She was beautiful." An idea suddenly pricked in my mind. Her mother. What did she say her mother's name was? It came to me, within a minute. Her name was Bella Swan. The name tingled in my mind before I could change my mind to let it go. That was perfect, my new name!

"Bella Swan, Bella Swan..." I sang to myself in my most distinguished American accent. I murmured my new name over and over.

Bella Swan.

Bella Swan.

Bella Swan.

Not anymore a Raven, now, I am a Swan.

* * *

-Edward POV-

"Edward," Mom leaned over the counter while holding a coffee mug in her pale hands. I responded with an innocent 'what' and picked at my pop tarts.  
"About the news of the criminal that escaped the other day..." I looked up from my breakfast, with an eyebrow raised.  
"What about it?"  
"This is just a rumor, but according to the news, the criminal that escaped from Roevinca away was last seen only a few states away."

"So…?"  
"I want you to be careful." Wrinkles of worry lined Mom's forehead and I gave her a tender pat on the back as I stood.

"Don't worry," I said.  
"I _will _worry, Edward," She persisted. "This woman was in jail for sexual assault _and_ murder."

"Come on, mom. You're acting as if this lady could just show up in my life with a chain saw and slice me open." Mom grimaced, but I continued. "Neither of us—Alice included—are going to run into a criminal." As if on cue, Alice danced into the kitchen with a folded waffle in her hand. She poured syrup into the center, and then took a big bite. What a weird girl. Chewing loudly, she said between bites,  
"It's true, mom. We'll have our fair moments of goofing off, but we'll be careful. Don't get your panties twisted, we'll be fine." I sucked in a breath, glaring at Alice.  
"Why don't you both take life a little more seriously?" Mom asked, hands on hips. Uh oh. She hasn't been this crabby since she was pregnant with Claire.  
"Because we'd rather have _fun _with our lives, and _enjoy it_." Alice stuck out her tongue, displaying fragments of waffle bits in emphasis. Oh no, Alice did it again.  
"THAT IS IT! YOU TWO ARE GROUNDED."  
"Mom!" I groaned. I was rewarded with narrowed eyes and pursed lips.

"That's final. Both of you, to school… Now!"

"Fine and well." Alice snapped, plucking her backpack off of the floor with a sarcastic smile twisting her lips.  
I hastily grabbed the keys to the Sparker, before mom could complain again, and Alice and I left for the garage. As soon as we were out of earshot from mom's hawk hearing, I snapped,  
"Thanks a lot, Alice." I was sure half of Alice's behavioral problems were from her hormones raging. What do you expect from a 14-year old, right?  
"No problem for me," A smug grin crept up her face. "_I_ was already grounded."

"Funny, Alice. I wasn't." I tossed her a helmet and she snagged it from the air as she pulled her arms through her jacket. I put my own helmet on. "Ready?" She nodded. I twisted the grip throttle to hear the familiar growling sound and I grinned. Alice wrapped her arms around me from behind, a perfect time to tease.

"Is that a hug, saying your sorry?"  
"It's a death grip, telling you to hurry up and leave before we're late." I laughed as I kicked the bike stand out from under us and sped away to school. Riding my bike was always a plus to me—no matter how bad the day is going, hearing the gravel grind beneath my tires makes me smile again.  
I focused on keeping a legal speed going until a weird crunch sounded from beneath my bike. _What was that? _I decided to disregard it until a soft "Uh oh." came from behind me.  
"What?" I had the sick feeling Alice's mischief was taking place again.  
"Edward, I think I accidentally may have broken your iPod..."  
"What?!" I exclaimed. "What did you do?"

Half an hour later, I was parked outside of Alice's school, leaning against my bike casually, with the half-crushed, mangled iPod in my back pocket. Somehow Alice had pulled the iPod from my jacket by the ear plugs, and it fell out of my pocket, and was crushed by the weight of my bike running over it.  
"I'm sorry..." She kept blubbering, a stream of tears rolled down her cheek. I knew she was sorry—she rarely shed tears, not even when her grandmother died.

With an exasperated sigh, I gave her a one-armed hug, ruffling her dark hair half-heartedly.  
"Don't worry about it," I said wearily. "I can get another one later." _Maybe after saving up for a year. _My meager thoughts were grim. "At least it wasn't you falling off of my bike." I put my sincerest smile out for her. She sniffed, wiping her blotchy pink nose with a shirt sleeve. I raised a hand to wipe beneath her hazel-flecked eyes. I gave her a smile as she looked up.  
"Be more careful next time, okay?" She nodded.  
"I'm really sorry-" She started. I waved her off.  
"It's okay, don't worry. You don't want to be late for your class, hurry up." She nodded, scurrying off into the building. I glanced at the overhead clock wistfully. I was already late.

Because of the iPod incident, I was a half hour late to class. As soon as I stormed down the hall, I ran into the principal, mentally cursing my bad luck today. Ms. Avery stormed towards me, eyes black with rage.

"Mr. Cullen! _Why_ are you _late_…" She hissed the words, as she leaned down in my face. I lifted a lip in disgust, she always smelled like onion soup, even at eight in the morning.  
"I'm very, very sorry I'm late." I managed, with my most charming, apologetic smile. It usually won people over.  
"'Sorry' doesn't cut it." Her icy black eyes pierced into mine. She didn't release her glare. Her eyes screamed that no excuse was going to save me. My mother could have died, for all she cared.  
"In my office, sit down."  
"Sorry, Ms. Avery..." I muttered under my breath, taking a seat in the plastic bench saved for the "bad kids." I stared blankly at the arm rest I had painted a blue star onto in freshman year. I traced the sharpie outlining with a fingernail, smirking to myself a little. Although I wasn't _really_ a misfit, some teachers—including Ms. Avery—despised me for the image I held of myself; popular, easy going, with mediocre grades.

"Mr. Cullen." I snapped my eyes up. "You, young man, need to take school more seriously." I nodded, with a serious expression in the 'oh, yeah, I totally agree-please, tell-me-more' kind of manner.  
"I know, I feel really bad, it's just that my younger sister—"  
"No excuses. Was the incident inevitable?" Not letting me answer, she answered herself. "I don't want to hear it." She continued chiding me for the next half hour, her last words ending with "Detention."  
When I was excused I gladly left my seat with the little blue star, storming off into the hall with my fists clenched.  
_What. The hell._ This was the second time, in less than an hour that I was getting a punishment of some sort. Her crabby voice kept reappearing in my mind.  
_You, young man you need to take school more seriously… At this rate, your life will be wasting away... What do you plan to do with your life?_  
I sighed, muttering curse words beneath my breath as I turned the corner.

Being totally pissed, I turned the corner sharply, and collided with a dark-haired girl who fell to the ground.

"Watch it!" I snapped, until I turned around.  
The girl I had knocked down was fragile-looking. Her pale skin was almost sallow, her high cheekbones were hollow, and her large eyes appeared sunken in. They looked electric, however; I just couldn't look away from her withdrawn gaze. Her eyes reminded me of how a bright spark would die down to low, glowing, blue embers. So… Powerful, but wasted. This was how the girl looked.  
She was a gaunt, haunted, cryptic-looking girl. And at the same time, she was the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen in my whole life.  
"I'm so sorry." I said. And I meant it.

**Sorry if that was a tad bit slow of a Chapter, I blame the idleness of winter break. Nevertheless, I hope you continue reading, as the next chapter is where our darling Edward meets Vorone... Thanks again!**

**:3, Your Squid.**


	3. She was Cryptic, yet Beautiful

**Hey guys, here's a short recap for you! **

_The girl i had collided with was thin, and fragile... This was how the girl looked. So powerful, but wasted. She was a gaunt, haunted,creepy-looking girl. And at the same time, she was the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen in my life "I'm so sorry." I said. And I meant it. _**  
**

* * *

Edward POV

The girl i had knocked down held a blank expression as she stared at me, as if she didn't understand me or had something else on her mind. I wondered what she was thinking.  
"Are you hurt?" I asked, extending a hand out to help her.  
I could tell that she hesitated as she stared at my hand, until she finally took it. She had a delicate wrist, with long fingers that were too bony. Her hands were ice-cold.

When I pulled her up, she felt far too light. Or maybe it was just my imagination.  
"Thank you." She murmured, looking down. As her full lips formed the words, I couldn't help but notice her voice was melodic and euphonious. Her long, dark bangs fell forward and curtained her brown eyes, shielding it from view.  
Suddenly I forgot how to speak. I nodded in response, half-mesmerized. I must've been crazy—I felt like everything was in slow-motion. She raised her eyebrows and her lips stretched into a slight smirk as if she were amused.  
"See you around." She said, as she turned and walked away.  
I stood there like an idiot, watching after her, until ironically, someone else bumped into me and snapped, 'watch it!'  
Watch it... I thought to myself, and my lips twisted a little and I smirked to myself, intently gazing after her. That was exactly what I was going to do.  
She was intriguing... Mysterious… and... Captivating... And I couldn't keep my eyes off of her.  
_"What are you thinking?"_ the rational voice in my head argued.  
_"You're being a stalker-a total weirdo!"_  
But I didn't care anymore. I just had to see her again.  
"Screw it!" I told the voice in my head aloud.  
Everyone in the hallway stopped to look my way and a blush burned my cheeks and nose.  
"Shit..." I muttered to myself, totally embarrassed. Everyone resumed whatever they were doing, and so did I.  
I ran after her.

And all the while I ran, I never knew that knocking over that girl would be the start of the rest of my life.

-Edward POV, 2 weeks later-

It was already past midnight—all was quiet, and the dark colors of my bedroom was dyed a pleasant shade of silver in the pale moonlight. I was sitting on the edge of my bed with my head in my hands; I was restless, completely unable to sleep.  
Every now and then, I would glance at something—outside my window, where the small town of Forks looked like a miniature play set; or occasionally, down at the tiny dust motes beneath my bed. However, these were obvious distractions-a diversion from what was truly keeping me awake; the girl I had run into two weeks ago.  
With a soft sigh, I turned to my night table and picked up the mangled, metallic orange that used to be my iPod. I gazed at the dents and crumpled circuit boards in wonder, turning the small piece over and over in my hands. I never did find her after the small encounter we had. I ran into every classroom in that hallway, pitifully hoping that I would find her again. I didn't though.  
A sad smirk crossed my lips. Ironically, I wanted to thank Alice for breaking my iPod—because of her unintentional mischief, I was able to run into _her._ This metal was a sign—I was destined to meet her, and no matter how short of an encounter it was, my iPod was a small price to pay.  
My thoughts unconsciously traveled back to her. Even if my eyes were set staring at the red leaves on the oak tree outside of my window, I could still see the warm brown eyes that stared at my outstretched hand in uncertainty, her slender hands that seemed too frail for their size, and the uniform that hung around her delicate frame a few sizes too large...  
I shook myself of the thought, suddenly aware of what I was doing. Why was I still thinking about her? I would never see the girl again, and it's not like we shared anything special. Her doe-like features were certainly unique, but nothing impressive—I could find a different girl, one who would be instantly attracted to me, and be likewise, attractive. A bleak sigh escaped my lips, against my own will.

I knew I could meet a different girl, easily. Emmett could set me up with anyone I wanted—with a wave of his hand; I could have my dream girl. Heck, if I requested it, he would probably find me a mermaid from the Bermuda triangle. Should I have been given the opportunity, against my own denial, I knew I would've asked Emmett for _her._ Her and no one else; no matter how odd she may be, I was certain I would never find anyone like her.  
I was worried about her—what if I hurt her when I knocked into her? The frail limbs of her arms and legs could easily snap with just a push. Did she think about me? Or just push me away from her thoughts, seeing this as just an unfortunate encounter, and nothing more? I knew nothing about her, but I already knew this; I had to see her again.

I glanced wearily at the bedside clock through lidded eyes. One o'clock already? There was no way I was going back to sleep now. I muffled a wide yawn with a palm as my feet dragged themselves off my bed, and past the window.  
I took a seat at my dark-wood desk, turning on my ancient desk lamp. The silver moonlight cascading in my room was suddenly replaced by a flickering glow that cast a warm golden color across my walls. I blinked my eyes a few times, adjusting to the sudden change in light. Taking out paper and a pencil from a low drawer, I glanced behind my shoulder to be sure my bedroom door was closed. I sighed, reassured that everyone was asleep; I could finally focus on the blank paper and pencil before me.

Sketching was a hobby that I had developed by working at the shop—Emmett and Jasper, (who'd worked much longer than I had) recommended drawing to help me remember the separate parts of an automobiles engine. It worked, and I had taken a liking to it-talk about killing two birds with one stone.  
I was careful not to show anyone though—somehow it felt strange, as if all of my privacy was evaded at once. It was something I didn't really wish to share with anyone.  
I reached for my sketch folder—hidden hastily beneath my desk—and flipped through some of the art I was proud of. Most of my drawings consisted of engines, different automobiles, and trucks (for educational purposes.) The other sketches were made in place of photographs—it was handy when I didn't have a camera, but took time as most of them were intricate; I only drew faces that were important to me.

My eyes stopped on a few old sketches of my real mom and dad. I stared at the genuine smile of my dad, and the frigid lips of my mother, curved, but not smiling. Staring at the icy eyes of my mother was never pleasant, even when she was alive. Uncomfortably, I pushed those aside.  
A colored sketch of Alice and Claire caught my eye—this was when they were both very small. A warm smile curved my lips as I put the sketches back into the folder, and got to work on my next piece—drawing the girl I might never meet again.

* * *

-Bella POV-

"Damn, this bench is freezing," I mumbled to myself, shifting my position restlessly on the narrow park bench. The air wasn't cold enough to leave frost, but my breath hung white in the air as blew on my frigid hands.  
_Stop complaining,_ I chided myself. _You've spent colder nights than this, and you know it. _The muddled green trench coat I'd managed to snatch wasn't nearly as warm as I'd thought it'd be-I almost regretted not taking the fur-coat, but I didn't want to attract attention by wearing an expensive coat, especially if I was sleeping on a park bench all night.  
I shivered beneath the thin cotton of the coat, and peeked between the bench's cracks to see the rest of the homeless men sleeping around a toasty camp fire. The whiff of smoke drifted, carrying remnants of old bacon. My mouth watered in envy-I hadn't snuck any food since yesterday.  
I secretly wished to join their circle, with the flickering flames that promised immediate warmth, but it wasn't worth the risk of being seen. I added to my mental notes to make a plan to forge for food soon.  
Another tremor shook through my body, and I closed my eyes. I quickly slipped into confusing dreams of past as I sunk into the darkness.

* * *

-Edward POV-

It was past four AM when I put down my pencil and admired my work. The sketch turned out better than I had expected—I managed to capture the cryptic look in her brown eyes and the slight frown to her full lips. Her arched eyebrows were perfect.  
Wearily, I placed the sketch into the folder, and pushed it beneath a spare textbook. My fingers flicked the switch to the desk lamp, and the golden glow retreated immediately back into the darkness; the silver glow of the moon shone flooded the room again, but this time from a different angle. I staggered to my bed, finally tired enough to sleep. Pulling the duvet over myself, I was unconscious before the covers had a chance to settle on my body.

Tonight called for more disturbing dreams of her. For the past two weeks, every night, I always had dreams about her, all similar to one another.  
I was in a dark room—a flash of silent lightning revealed the contents of the room for a split instant; every piece of furniture in this room was painted a dark, dripping black. I parted my lips to speak, but everything was muted. An ebony couch caught my attention, and I reached up to touch the material. It was made of cold fur, and something pitch-black. The texture reminded me of the taxidermy deer that used to scare the crap out of me when I was younger; when I had thought they were dead animals, frozen forever as dolls.  
My gaze followed the jet black lines of the couch, until I saw her. She was dressed pleasantly in white satin, but as I approached her, I could fully see the rest of her slip; it was stained with thick smatters of dark red blood. I wasn't sure how I knew, but the blood on her clothing didn't belong to her. The sickly, metallic smell of the liquid was strangely intensified, making my head spin.

The girl couldn't see me from here, but the angle I stood at let me see her. Her mouth was sealed shut with black tape. A distant, unfocused gaze revealed nothing, but silent tears ran down her cheeks from cloudy eyes. I continued gazing at her—she was the only thing I could see in the darkness.  
I could hear nothing in this muted world, but she whipped her head towards me as if I had shattered glass in the silence, suddenly noticing my presence.  
Her eyes were darkened sapphires, glinting strangely despite the lack of lighting. The brows above her intense eyes were furrowed, and she was glaring at me angrily—I felt no fear, rather, I felt mesmerized. With the sickly sweet smell of blood clouding my mind, I couldn't help but be intoxicated to the intense look on her face.  
The dark tendrils of her hair stuck wetly to her face, long bangs dripped crystal drops of rain. I watched in a trance as the water rolled down her face, and dripped down into the darkness.  
When I looked down at her clenched fists, my eyes widened—her frail wrists were locked in black handcuffs.  
Everything seemed to move in slow motion—as I reached out to her with an unbearably slow arm—in an attempt to unlock the handcuffs—she would stand gracefully, the satin swirled around her stark frame in flashes of red and white. Her legs moved swiftly in a run, and suddenly, she grew farther and father away from me. Her bare feet left a thin trail of blood that I followed, along with the slight flashes of red and white.

My legs moved painfully slow; I looked down and realized—I was knee-deep in viscous blood. Despite the noxious liquid, I continued wading towards her.  
I could hear her muffled murmurs echo across the room, though everything else was sunk in dead silence.  
When I finally reached her, her brown eyes widened in fear, the darkness of the pupils swallowed her irises until the brown was no longer visible. My slow hand pulled the tape off of her mouth. The full lips that were finally revealed was coated in thick blood, and my eyes widened. Her lips parted to speak, and the sound that came out of her mouth was...

_BLEEP, BLEEP, BLEEP, BLEEP, BLEEP!_  
I snapped my eyes open and bolted up in bed, slamming my hand down to silence the alarm clock. I seriously considered ripping the batteries out of that thing, just so I could hear what she had to say. A nagging thought made me wonder...

Did I _want_ to know what she was going to say?


	4. Homeless

Homeless Scene

Thank god the school day had ended. Although I enjoyed the rare opportunity of learning, I was so afraid of anyone who may have taken a second glance towards me at school.

Especially that boy who'd noticed me and then interrogated me during the entire first period. What was his name...? Oh yeah. Edward Cullen.

* * *

Bella POV

_the morning of meeting Edward._

_Two miles...That free map said that Forks High School was only two miles away. I know I've walked at least three... Did I misinterpret the map? Was it outdated?_

A sigh escaped my lips, and I continued walking, sticking to the farther side of the sidewalk, with the shadows cast from the large pine trees. _Vorone. The Raven. Those names will go away now... I won't have to hide as much as I used to... I can actually walk in public. In broad daylight, even, if I wanted to._

I finally reached the brick building of the highschool, and overlooked it with wide eyes. The school was large, with towering windows and a large, wooden front door. I wondered why somehow, nothing intimidated me more than attention; not even this large, unfamiliar building. I walked around the building, and surely enough, there was a back door. Though it was locked, that didn't stop me.

It wasn't difficult to hack into the school system once i entered the building's facility. It only took a small fire in the faculty lounge for the administration to get riled up. As they evacuated the office, I hunched over the main computer, and quickly added myself to the registration. I clicked on a button that printed out a schedule for myself and I shoved the papers and false transcripts into my bag frantically, I didn't have much time.

Instinctually, i knew that the fire department would enter through the back door, closest to the teacher's lounge. I left through the front doors of the office, and found myself wandering in a large hallway. I was preoccupied with stuffing a bundle of spare girl's uniforms hastilly into my bag.

I was just slinging my bag over my shoulder as I rounded the corner. As soon as I looked up, however, a boy with blonde hair and wide shoulders crashed into me. He didnt hit me hard at all, but from the faintness of not eating, I toppled over, landing on my behind on the floor. Oh no...

I had his attention.

The boy looked shocked, and he stammered,

"I'm so sorry...Are you okay?" He held out a hand before me, as if offering his help. I eyed him suspiciously and hesitated. Was this a trick? Was he faking sincerity in order to get my fingerprints? No, I decided quickly. He seemed gullible, not devious enough to devise elaborate schemes.

"Thank you," I murmured, using my best American accent. I was still skeptical about his reaction to me falling. It seemed strange to me, that someone would offer you assistance without expecting something in return. It's a concept so unheard of, that it's border-lining ridiculousness. In the war, you couldn't possibly obtain a pair of shoes that fit you, without killing or stealing from another man... All for a pair of shoes.

The boy before me seemed curious as he stared intently into my eyes. I assessed him quickly. 5'11 inches, 165 pounds, shoe size ten. His pristine white uniform was ironed-a sure sign of a rich household. His shoes had oil stains on them, however-so he couldn't be completely uptight and condescending, then. In fact, I was sure he wasn't condescending-after all, he was speaking to a person like me.

I struggled to find an excuse to leave him, and failed miserably, muttering under my breath,

"See you around."

* * *

I escaped from the boy's eyes by leaving the building through the girl's locker-room emergency exit, unnoticed. _Fait accompli_. I headed back to the park; it was a convenient three miles away from school, a comfortable walking distance. Most importantly; no one should see me here.

It was already twilight when I reached a lonely wooden bench beneath the shade of a tree. I let my knees buckle and I reclined against the bench, letting out a great sigh. _Can't procrastinate forever, Vorone. _I pulled out a match from a ziplock bag in my messenger bag, and dreadfully pulled the lone wax candle out, as well. After closing my eyes to relax, to prepare myself for what would come, i let my breath escape my lips as I struck the match and lit the candle. _Flame was pretty wasn't it? Pretty until you smell burning flesh, that is. _I held my rough fingertips to the flame, biting down on my lips hard enough to draw blood into my mouth as i felt the excruciating pain. I allowed the skin to bubble, then melt into a mutilated, raw mess. Again. It was amazing how many times I'd burned my fingerprints off to protect my security, but how it still hurt every time. I could never get used to the sickly sweet smell of the fat burning, or the flames as they licked your fingers to the bone. Finally, with the slightest whimper, I withdrew my fingers frantically and wrapped them with gauze. I resentfully drew in another breath to do the other side.

The first hour was always the worst, and I constantly engaged myself to the surroundings.

I saw other homeless people that sat around garbage cans, warming their hands by a flame. I was, as always, tempted to join them, but I didn't want to take risks; if they recognized me, that would mean jail. Besides, I already knew how to keep myself warm-it wasn't winter yet, only autumn. The crisp night air was growing chilly though; in the evenings I could see my breath cloud white in the air- but this was nothing compared to a winter night in Roevania. The rule was simple there; if you slept, you died. Nothing anyone could do about it.

My thoughts traveled back to a snowy December midnight. It was nearing Christmas, but that didn't matter to anyone; work was all anyone wanted to do. If we wanted to get fed on Christmas, we would slave away all night, for a portion of their turkey and gravy. So, needless to say, we worked. Being that I was nine years old at the time, I turned to Matros; a fellow slave, who used to be a sailor. He was gruff, but not brutal, unlike most of the men in the crew.

"Matros? When do we go inside to sleep?"

"We don't, Vorone." He stifled a yawn wearily.

"Why not?"

"Stop asking questions. Get back to work." He turned back to his work, but I plead, with tears shining in my eyes; visible even in the dim light. _I was still a child,_ I remembered with a small smile. _I was still pure, and innocent before I was scarred to the see what the real world truly held. Slavery to me, was nothing compared to the real world. _

"Matros, please. I'm tired, why don't we get to sleep?" He grumbled a sigh, as he bent down to speak to me.

"The moment you fall asleep, Vorone, is when your body gets too cold. You'll freeze." He explained carefully. "Unless you want to freeze, you need to keep your little body moving." I had nodded with wide, fearful eyes.

"Good. Now let's get back to work." Matros shimmered, then faded out of my memory. That night, I had worked for a straight twelve hours. As soon as dawn broke, though, we gratefully slumped to our knees and fell asleep. The next few Christmas', Dawn was employed on those days, so we all gratefully received an extra sliver of meat and cheese on Christmas. I distantly remembered the few days Dawn let me sleep in her office on Christmas Eve, which played American orchestra music. It was much warmer there. Dawn had apologized for the dust in the room, but I shook my head. It was so warm... I was led to a worn bean bag in the corner of the room, and I distinctly remebered being covered with her trench coat that smelled of peaches just before I drifted off to sleep. I always felt safe when Dawn was near me.

How strange, I had always wanted to cry every second I had thought of her, but now I was hardened. I was made of stone. I feel nothing now.

My keen ears picked up a soft murmur, not too far away, and I stiffened.

"...There's something strange about her." My eyes widened as I strained my ears to hear the hushed conversation between the homeless men.

"Yeah, did you see the way her hands were bandaged? Bet she was burning off 'prints." I stared down at the bloodied bonds wrapped around my hands. _Oh god, they knew... They'd noticed._

Even on the other side of the park, I could see the grubby men nodding in agreement.

"She looks too young to be one of us... I'll bet she's a thief."

"Even worse, maybe she's a hooker!"

"I don't want her touching any of my stash!"

"I think we should call the police on her before she does." I froze, for just a moment.

And then I slung my bag across my body, bolted up from my seat, and I was running for my life, again.

I darted through the woods and between an alleyway, to find myself on the other side of the town, and on instinct, turned right. You couldn't go wrong with right, right?

The police station was five kilometers from here. It was risky, but I decided to take my chances-I didn't want to scavenge the town all night for a place to stay. After five minutes of endless moping, I came to a stop by an old hotel it said Cheshire Cat hotel in dusty blocky signs that looked like it could fall off at any moment.

Perfect.

I peered at the boarded doors, then circled the building for an alternate entrance. I profusely leapt through shards of cracked glass on the side of the building, not touching any of them. My feet landed almost silently to the dusty concrete floors, and i craned my neck, surveying the room. The draft that made the dust motes spin in the air was unpleasant, but it seemed to die down as I walked further into the establishment.

A fire proclaimed this place, I noted what was left of a couch, a board with harsh springs extending from it, bits of charred cotton was still stuck on it. I searched the area until I produced half burned sheets. Though the linen was thin, and half moth-eaten, this would be suitable. I spread the sheets on the ground, and then lay down. I wearily removed the messenger bag off of my aching body and set it to the ground. I opened the clasps and pulled out my teddy bear, equally as worn as the sheets. Holding the soft, rubbed down faux fur to my lips, I shut my eyes and willed myself to sleep.

Sleep came swiftly, and the next thing I knew, it was the brink of dawn, and I was rubbing my sleeping eyes awake.

For a moment, I was startled. Then, remembering where I was, and how i got here, I dragged myself out of the sheets and slung the messenger bag across my body, placing my teddy bear deep inside of it-wouldn't want it falling out. The sky finally started to lighten in strokes of orange as I reached the school. I entered the school, as usual, through the lockeroom. I stripped my clothing at the vacant lockeroom, shivering as the cold morning air touched my skin, leaving behind goosebumps. I brought my thin shirt up to my face and sniffed it once. Ugh. I definitely needed a shower. I stepped behind a curtain, and turn on the water. I closed my eyes at the grateful warmth that slid down my body and sprayed my face.

As I was shaving my legs, with my only razor, I found myself wondering about the spacey boy who knocked me down yesterday. _Why was he so nice to me? _I grew suspicious._ Did he know my identity? Where I resided? Who I am?_

Dammit. Nicked myself.

_Don't over think it._ I chided myself. Once my legs were nice and smooth, I turned the water off and hastily towel dried. I opened the new locker I had "borrowed", to take out my new, clean uniform. I dressed and bent over to dry my hair in the hand dryer beside the sink.

Noticing the reflection in the mirror, I grimaced.

_Was I really this pale? Was it just the lighting?_

I touched my face with fingertips that barely ghosted over my skin. Thin muscles covered the bones in my face, and my skin was right above that. There was a time, when I was fed, enough to not even see my rib cage! I couldn't possibly remember those times though, without a unhappy grumble from my empty stomach. My skin was usually a natural peach color, tan even if I reached the rays of sunlight, but unfortunately, the lack of nutrients was causing my skin to react unpleasantly, the jaundice made my face appear sallow and yellowed. Maybe even old. I sighed. I had to think of a new plan soon... Or I might starve to a critical point, again.

I know. Welcome to my life.


	5. Leave me Alone

**Hey readers, guess what? The wait is over... Edward finally gets to meet Bella! Hope you enjoy,**

**Yours Sincerely,**

**Squid.**

-Edward-

I walked into math class, putting my head down on the desk, wearily closing my eyes. I had no plans to study today—I couldn't, it was impossible to think of anything without being reminded of the sullen girl, and the blood that covered her in my dreams.  
Mr. Garcia called for our attention in a nasally voice, and I looked up wearily. There she was—standing right in front of the class. My eyes widened as I tried to take in every bit of her for as long as I could.

She stood next to Mr. Garcia, notebook in one hand, and a messenger bag slung casually across her uniform. The way she stood was simply captivating—it was graceful. She had an elegant figure, with long limbs that almost made her look aristocratic. Obviously, she was too thin to be royalty, though. I wondered if she was anorexic, but something made me doubt that.

Mr. Garcia cleared his throat.  
"This is our new student, Isabella Swan. Please do your best to make her feel welcome, class." The rest of the class responded by nodding or muttering 'whatever' then resuming to whatever they were doing before.  
_Isabella Swan. I finally knew her name._ I couldn't help but notice what a strange name it was. It sounded so... Fairytale-like, as if it were made up. I strained my ears and leaned on my elbows—literally on the edge of my seat—just to hear Mr. Garcia say where he was going to place Isabella.  
"Isabella... There are two empty seats you can choose from. There's one in the front, with Mr. Newton, or one in the back with Mr. Cullen." I crossed my fingers together under my arms.  
_"Please pick the back, please pick the back..." _I chanted to myself religiously.  
I strained my ears to hear Isabella's muted voice murmur,

"I'll take the back." If I weren't in a classroom, I would have totally done my victory dance saved for Monday night football. I forced myself not to look at her as she made her way between the desks, and finally, to the seat next to me. After I thought meticulously about what I was going to say to her, I turned, with my most charming smile.  
"Hey," I said to her, in a friendly tone. "You're Isabella, right?" She gave me that blank stare again.  
"_Bella." _She said flatly.  
"What?" I said stupidly.  
"My name is Bella. It's short for Isabella." She sounded a bit sheepish for some reason.

"Oh..." Yeah, this was awkward. "I'm Edward Cullen."  
She nodded, but didn't look up, totally uninterested. That bothered me. "I'm really sorry about what happened a few weeks back. I had things on my mind—I didn't mean to knock you over like that." I tried to amend.  
"It's okay." Bella said, with a blank stare out into space.  
Geez, why was she making it so hard for me to talk to her? She had such an awkward air about her that it made me want to shut up, just plain nervous from the blunt, intimidating way she spoke. I couldn't tell if she hated me or if she accepted me, but either way, I wasn't going to let this opportunity go to waste. I turned back to her again, with a perfect veneer of friendliness.

"What are your classes?" Instead of speaking, she thrust a crumpled, yellow paper into my hand. My eyes scanned the paper vigorously. She had math, history, PE, and English with me. _Hallelujah, and thank the lord._ I handed the paper back to her.

"You have a few classes with me. Where did you come from?"

"Oh, I move around a lot. Here and there." She said. I replied with a generic, 'oh, that's nice.'

"What's your favorite subject?" Her answer was simple, and plain.

"Don't have one."

"Ummm…." I had looked down and noticed Bella's hand. They were bandaged at the fingertips, around every single finger. I could barely make out faint bloodstains between the layers of gauze. "What happened to your hand?" Her eyes widened, in a strange expression that flickered between anger and sadness, and she hid herhosts beneath her arms now.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. Are you alri-?" She instantly cut me off, and the sudden change to her demeanor made her appear cold... Just like she was in my dream.

"Can you please, just leave me alone?" My eyes widened in surprise as I turned back to the board, muttering a pitiful 'sorry.' I did my best not to look at Bella again; I was completely ashamed at the way I had bombarded her with questions. What was I thinking? She was new to this school; I shouldn't have been asking her things she may not have wanted to share. I mentally face-palmed myself.

The rest of class was disappointing, and as soon as the bell rang, I peeked over at Bella, who was gathering her notebook and pencil awkwardly with her bandaged hands. Her eyes met mine, and though her eyes reflected advised not to, I surged the courage to ask her a final question.

"Your next class is PE, right?" She nodded slowly. "Would you like me to walk you there?" She shook her head no.

"I can find the class for myself." She said quietly. I nodded, letting her know that I understood and ended up looking down to the ground as she stood and left.

"I see." I managed to mumble too late. I stood to leave the classroom, but I took slow steps, trying to sort out my thoughts.

It occurred to me as thought about our small conversation… The questions she had answered…. They avoided a straight-forward, and honest opinion. She hadn't even answered one question, as if she were hiding something. I turned back to Bella, but she was already gone, with her hurt hands, and the secrets she carried along with her.

_What was she hiding? _

**Thank you for reading, chapter five will come up very shortly... Any suggestions? Feel free to review, I'd appreciate it greatly! **

**Thank you all again. **

**Sincerely,**

**Your Squid.**


	6. Someone Save me

-Bella POV-

Two weeks had passed at school.

I survived so far. Aside from the only person who questioned me, (Mr. _Edward-freaking-Cullen_,) no one had even suspected my identity. I kept my profile low, hiding my thin frame in my jacket, but this was the one class I couldn't do so.  
PE.

Of course it was PE once again—I dreaded the physical exercise, especially when I didn't have enough to eat. With PE came more difficulties, like concealing my body from others in the locker room, and the biggest hassle; having to ditch class while going unnoticed on the days of scheduled quarterly weight checks.

I glanced down at the uniform that was distributed at the beginning of the semester. Did they have to make the shorts so stubby that our knees would be revealed? While the rest of the girls stripped their clothes by their lockers, I huddled into a bathroom stall to change into the required uniform. I couldn't withhold a sigh as I listened to the other girls chatting loudly as they changed clothing amongst themselves, almost nude with one another; while able to share and display their bodies to each other so casually. A surprising sting of envy crossed me, as I looked down at my own body with bitterness.

I barely had any breasts anymore; whatever fat was spared didn't even fit my pathetically small bra properly. My undergarments didn't fit my hips comfortably anymore, since I'd had to adjust them to accustom my bony pelvis. I grimaced at the legs that stuck out oddly from the required basketball shorts; stared at the knobby knees and the thin, weakening muscle.

A quiet moment passed, and I wanted to slap myself for being so vain, to waste time even thinking about my body when I could be planning my next meal. After slipping on a black hoodie to conceal my concaved stomach, I turned to leave the building.

I stalked out of the locker-room, glad to leave the chattering noise, but as soon as I left the air-conditioned building, I regretted it—the heat outside was muggy; even the weeds creeping beside the track field seemed to sizzle against the sidewalk.

My uniform shirt beneath my hoodie plastered to my skin immediately in the humidity, and I pushed the hood over my head, so that it could shield me from the blinding sunlight a little. I walked over to the water fountain outside of the locker-rooms, and pushed at the button to taste the water.

The tap water was tepid, but I took small sips in my mouth anyways. I gazed at the brick wall before me absently as my stomach gurgled, protesting against the small quantity of water I was in-taking. I knew my stomach needed food, not water, but there was no way I could steal anything, at least, not until PE was over anyways.

My thoughts traveled back to Thanksgiving, the glorious time when I was able to snatch away more than enough food for myself unnoticed so that I had curves and a shape to my body. Now, I was paper-thin once more. My stomach growled again, the hunger gnawing at my insides. I didn't want to upset myself (or my stomach) any more, so I tried to avoid even the mere thought of food.

"Hey, Bella?" A familiar voice called. I nonchalantly pretended not to hear him, and didn't take my eyes off of the wall as I took a few more mouthfuls of water. Gurgle. Maybe if I ignored him, he would walk away…?

"Hey, are you okay?" Edward was standing next to me now; it was impossible to ignore him. I straightened, looking him the eyes evenly.

"I've never been better, thank you." I said, coldly polite, and turned back to the fountain, drinking a little bit more, to avoid talking. _What a lie. I hadn't eaten anything in almost a week now…. _"Why do you ask?" His response was silence at first, and I turned to face him. Edward's eyes were scanning me up and down suspiciously, as if he were assessing me.

"You look gaunt. Your cheekbones are protruding from your face." I awkwardly raised a bony hand to push the hood farther over my head. I glared up at him through my eyelashes.

"Excuse me and my creepy cheekbones, okay?" I sighed at him, exasperated, if not losing my patience.

"Bella, you know I didn't mean it like that." His brow knitted together in a V, and he looked hurt. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." I said through gritted teeth. "Absolutely _nothing_ is wrong." _What a persistent little—_ His immediate response surprised me.

"—you're lying."

"Oh, really?" I put my hands on my bony hips, and arched an eyebrow. "How would you know that?" He exhaled softly. Maybe he was tired of this fight, too.

"I don't know. It's just… I know you're hiding something." I looked into his amber eyes, and I let out a breath I didn't know I'd been holding in. Though I knew deep down that he was just concerned for me, it provoked me knowing he wouldn't let it go until he got what he wanted.

"Edward, would you drop it already?!" I snapped. A mischievous smile crossed Edward's face.

"I _would_ drop it, but I'm not holding anything." He teased smugly. His ridiculous humor seemed to be programmed to kick in at the most inappropriate times.

"Don't joke." I said wearily, and his face turned austere.

"Look, Bella, all I want to know is if you're okay."

"I said I'm _fine!_" I snapped, stomping a foot in emphasis. Edward raised an eyebrow as he assessed me again, his eyes searching me in an annoying way that ironically looked like he was trying to vacuum my soul with his eyes or something. Creep.

Thankfully, Ms. Smith broke the silence, muttering something about lining in formation to start the mile run. Edward's eyes finally left my face as he turned away. I gratefully turned away from him, deliberately taking long strides towards the track field.

I licked at my chapped lips over and over, half for the guilt I felt from snapping at Edward, who was only concerned for me, and half because I was trying my best not to remember how the last meal I'd eaten tasted like. Despite that, though, I was already creating mental calculations. If I hadn't eaten since Monday, that would make six days. I sucked in a breath. Six days of not eating was dangerously long, even for me.

I noticed that my skins pallor had taken quite a toll. My skin was clammy a lot, and I'd thrown up a few times. I tried to pass it off as nothing, but when my menstruation stopped a month ago, I knew I was in trouble. However, I didn't think much about it until now; the PE physical health test.

Everything was hot. The sidewalk, the sun, even the air felt damp with humidity. Would I be able to survive the test without any health ailments? Hopefully so—I recalled a past summer in Roevinca, where another co-worker had suddenly keeled over, dead in the sweltering heat of summer.  
As we lined up to do our mile run, I noticed hateful glances and shaking heads flashed towards my way. I sighed in resentment as I wiped at a bead of sweat on my forehead with a jacket sleeve.  
I was sweating before the teacher blew the whistle to start running. I managed a steady pace, with my breathing light enough. When I was at a quarter mile-point, the blinding rays from the sun reflected off of someone's earrings, flashing the light back into my retinas. I sprinted past the light as fast as I possibly could, so I could avoid the chance to get dizzy, or worse, nauseous.

The sudden sprinting took the opposite toll on my body; my breathing became erratic, and my chest had sharp, stabbing pains. I slowed down, resting my hands on my bone-thin knees as I panted. _What's happening to me? _I couldn't think through the pounding in my ears. The sunlight that surrounded me made me dizzy... I struggled to see around it.

I fell to my knees and doubled over as I vomited something bitter and acidic into the grass. Something was wrong. My hands wouldn't stop shaking, and my body felt numb. I clapped a hand to my chest. _Why was it getting harder to breathe?_

Through the ringing in my ears, I could hear a voice at my side.

"Bella, are you okay?" I couldn't answer him; I was too focused on taking slow, deep breaths. Ms. Smith walked over to my side to examine me using her squinted, beady eyes; not her hands; she didn't bother taking my pulse.  
"Isabelle? Are you okay?" Of course she wouldn't know my name. Her nasally voice rang in my ears, I wanted to cover my head with my hands to block out the sound.  
"I think so," I lied between shallow breaths. I didn't want to start a commotion. It was bad enough I had to show my chicken legs in class; I didn't want anyone seeing me faint.  
"Well, try jogging the rest of your laps," she said to me, while inspecting her fingernails. "Maybe you ran too fast." I ignored her ignorance towards me, and  
weakly nodded against my own will. I tried my best to stand, but my knees buckled. Edward's strong hands caught my nearly limp body, and he steadied me. I stared up at him dizzily as he glared up at her. His eyes—despite the icy stare—were a soft hazel color in the sunlight; I never noticed that. I looked down, at his arms wrapped around my stomach. The arm that was wrapped around me was almost animalistic and protective.

"She is _obviously_—" He spit the words from his teeth, and I was surprised to hear a low growl in his voice. "—very sick. I'm taking her to the nurse's office." Ms. Smith sighed exasperatedly.  
"Mr. Cullen, what you are doing is _completely _unnecessary!" She decided for me, snapping her filing board against her palms in emphasis. "I'm telling you, all she needs is—" I didn't hear her finish her sentence, as Edward moved his arm around my waist and led me away. For once, I was glad he couldn't keep his hands to himself—I wasn't sure if I could stand on my own. I actually heard Ms. Smith mumbling within my earshot,

"Anything teens would do to get out of class." I was shocked—did she really think I was trying to ditch class? I was one of her better students! _Then again, _I thought bitterly,_ as if she'd notice._

I looked down at the hand Edward had cupped around my waist for my support. A rush of self-consciousness overwhelmed me; as I realized Edward could definitely feel my emaciated sides through my thin hoodie. Normally, I would have taken this moment to slap his hand away, but, I knew I wouldn't be able to walk on my own; even with the help, I staggered drunkenly.

"Bella, you look pale…" I didn't answer him. I'll admit I wasn't sure how to respond, either. "A _black_ hoodie?" He hissed. "While running?! What were you thinking?!" I knew he was trying to sound angry, but truthfully, he sounded concerned. The color of his hair in the sunlight was almost as blinding as the sidewalk; it burned through my irises. I looked down at the ground, praying to God I wouldn't throw up.  
"Black is the new thing." I uttered weakly between pants. He sighed, but I was too weak to argue. I stared down at my shaking hands as he spoke.

"That's not funny, Bella." Edward told me to watch my step, as he held the door to the main building open for us. I shuffled into the room, and a blast of air-conditioned air gratefully touched my face. I sighed mercifully, despite the pains in my chest.

As soon as Edward let go of the door, barely even a second passed as the pains in my chest erupted again, and I inhaled sharply.

"Edward…" His name slipped off of my tongue. "Please," I tried to glare at him as seriously as I could; and his eyes flashed to mine, sensing my urgency. "Take me to the quietest room in the school—where no one will hear or see us." I couldn't risk anyone seeing me now. If anyone saw me in the condition I was in, and took me to the hospital, I would be recognized and arrested again.

My legs buckled involuntarily, and I slipped from Edward's grip to fall to the floor on my knees.

I didn't have the strength to look up from the hair that fell into my face; luckily, the darkness of it shielded most of the florescent lights away from my eyes, but the polished white floor reflected the blinding white into my irises.  
"…Please?" I whispered desperately, closing my eyes. I hoped to find swirling, dark relief behind my eyelids, but strangely, the burning white increased behind them. I muffled my screams by biting on my lip; regretting it immediately as I tasted blood. Edward tried pulling my body up from my arms, but no strength would support my numb legs, and I flopped uselessly back against him. Giving up, Edward knocked my knees out from under me, and he carried my limp body in his arms, his expression frantic.

"Hold on, Bella!" My eyes rolled up, and hot blood trickled down my jaw from my lips. "You're going to be okay, Bella, you're going to be okay," He said over and over; but he sounded like he was trying to convince himself.

Edward kicked the doors to a rehearsal room open; one that was cold and wet and under construction. Sustaining me with his arms, he gently set me down to the floor, and then whirled to lock the doors behind us.

I clutched at my chest. _Why was it so hard to breathe?! _I saw my chest rising up and down with the breaths I took, but nothing seemed to fill my lungs. Edward returned and slid my head into his lap, staring at me with an expression I knew was trying it's hardest to be soothing, but I could see the panic swirling in his eyes.  
"Bella, you'll be okay, you'll be okay," He kept trying to comfort me, though it was useless.  
"I CAN'T BREATHE!" I screamed. My heart raced erratically and my body convulsed, like a fish on the sand. I tried gasping in air, but nothing would clear my head!

"Bella, please, look at me!" Edward pleaded. My eyes rolled in and out of focus. Edward grabbed my hand. "Let me take you to the nurse; you need—"  
"NO!" I begged, but it escaped from my lips as a piercing scream. Edward squeezed my hand tighter, and he lost all of his composure.

"BELLA, YOU'RE DYING!" He was practically screaming at me. "DON'T DIE, YOU'D BETTER NOT DIE!"  
Soon, whatever vision I had left—mostly the bloody red—faded to oily darkness. I knew there was something wrong with that, since my eyes were still open. My hearing started fading away too—whatever Edward was shouting was sounding distant, as if I were sinking farther and farther underwater. I could no longer feel Edward's hand clutching mine—everything was numb.

As if this were a planned process, I stopped breathing, too, and everything disappeared from my body at once. All the pain, all the sounds and sights disappeared at one time, and I found myself wondering what had happened, and where I was now.

**Bella died. I know, I know, that's not supposed to happen. But don't worry…**

**She gets resurrected. How, you may ask? Well, that's for you to see in Chapter Six. Thank you all again! **

**Your Squid. **


	7. Burning in Heaven

I wasn't quite sure where I was at all. I appeared to be in a tunnel of some sort; however it wasn't quite earthy enough to look like one.  
The rugged, yet smooth stony walls were onyx-colored and reflective—as if it were made of black diamonds. Yet, it had the natural cracks and breaks through them that a normal cave would possess. My hand reached up to touch its smooth surface in awe. It was cool to the touch. I let my hand trail the walls as I guided myself through the winding tunnel. My feet came to a halt as a beautiful, godly figure was presented before me. I couldn't stifle a soft gasp.  
"Dawn?" I breathed. Sitting on what appeared to be nothing but a wispy cloud of smoke was Dawn, my only friend. _You… You're dead. This can't be real. I must be dreaming… Wake up, Vorone! Bella! Whoever I am…_

"Hello, Vorone." She answered politely as if I had seen her just the other day, instead of witnessing her murder a year ago. Her sparkling, aqua-marine eyes look the same… _For a dream, this seems way too real…_  
"What am I doing here?" I guilty speaking to Dawn in such a blunt manner; I still felt as if I owed her two lifetimes.  
"You just died, suffering a cardiac arrest on a malnourished body." A dejected, but sympathetic curve crossed Dawn's lips—another pang of guilt hit me; I realized she still cared for me, even after all the time that had passed. Even after her death, that was entirely my fault.  
"I died? Oh, okay," My nonchalant reply probably would have been comical, if the situation wasn't so inconceivable. "Well... Why am I here?" An angelic smile crossed her beautifully sculpted lips.  
"You see," She looked at me through thick eyelashes. "You weren't supposed to die yet."  
"_What_?" My blunt answer tumbled off of my lips before I could stop them. "What do you mean 'I wasn't supposed to die'?" I did a poor impersonation of her angelic voice, and she laughed gently; it was a sound of pealing bells.  
"It just wasn't your time to die yet; so you are given another chance at life, if you accept it." My lips were parted, but I couldn't find my voice to speak—I wasn't sure what to say. _Is she offering to resurrect me from the dead? Is that possible? _Dawn noticed my silence and continued.

"You can choose to accept your death, but you won't be able to enter heaven. Your purpose in life still remains; so you'll linger on Earth as a ghost forever until that purpose is fulfilled. However, if you don't have a solid body, it'll just make everything harder on yourself. It's your choice. Choose wisely."  
"Dawn, why do you think should I live?" I asked; a hint of bitterness in the edge of my voice. I saw no reason to continue living life on earth anymore, especially if all I was good for was stealing and starving and dying again. Surely my life would repeat to infinity as a stupid, endless cycle of disappointment and guilt.  
"Your death is not scheduled so soon; it's not your place to die yet." I sighed almost resentfully.  
"Okay, I've made my decision." I took in a deep breath, trying my very best to convince myself that this wasn't a dream; that I wasn't making a life (or ironically, death) changing decision. I cleared my throat nervously. "I choose to come back to life... What's the catch?" She smiled, exposing perfect white teeth.

"I knew you'd ask. Because I'm offering to bring you back to life, you must do me a favor in return."  
"What sort of favor?" I asked suspiciously.  
"You must protect a life for me, in exchange for your life back." As my mouth formed to ask the question, Dawn answered me, as if she could read my mind. "You will have a life extension, but in return for your life; you must help me protect the life of another person who wasn't ready to die yet."  
"How do I help you do that?"  
"First of all, your body will be accustomed to the risk we will put you in." After seeing my embarrassing expression, Dawn explained, "Basically, your body will be mutated on the inside." I had to bite my tongue before I made a sarcastic comment on being a mutant freak. Luckily, Dawn continued before I could change my mind. "You will be given hints in your dreams as to whose life you are obligated to protect. You must do everything in your power to be sure their life doesn't end."  
"What do you mean? Is there something out there to stop me?" A slight tremor quivered throughout my body—I was suddenly scared of the other immortal things that I thought were imaginary, until this.  
"There will be Fates; they will do everything in their power to make the death of an unsuspecting person occur. You will be able to see these creatures, but most normal humans' eyes cannot adjust to see them. Once your eyes are changed, however, you will be able to adjust to their darkness." I wasn't sure what to say, so I kept my mouth closed.  
"Len, we don't have much time. Do you accept?" I swallowed hard and murmured 'yes.'  
Dawn snapped her fingers, and I heard a ripping noise. I stared down in confusion. The clothes had ripped from my body in two pieces, falling to the floor. Before the material could touch the ground though, excruciating pain overtook my body and I heard a piercing scream echo the cave walls. It took me a moment to realize it was mine.  
I only had a second to feel the pulse in my neck throb one last time, until the vein exploded. I cried out in shock as my blood spattered the floors, the walls, and my own body. The blood literally poured out of my arteries at an unnerving rate; came alive to exude from my skin. It was as if someone had strung a barbed wire perfectly through my main arteries, and ripped it out all at once, leaving my veins to bleed uncontrollably.

Against my own will, I fell to my knees in the excruciating pain; my back arched awkwardly towards the floor and cracked as more arteries in my neck were ripped from my skin and spattered my bare body with hot blood. My mouth opened to scream, but I heard a gurgle, instead.  
I was sure I was going to die (ironically enough, again) of blood loss. My twitching body felt so cold from the lack of blood. Beads of sweat broke out on my forehead and threatened to string my eyes. I thought that I was going to die peacefully now, so I closed my eyes, praying to God this would be over soon.  
Then, suddenly, something painfully hot seared through the rips in my body. It was burning, rather than stinging at the lacerations; and my eyes shifted frantically, trying to detect the flame that was burning me. I couldn't see anything visibly, and I looked to my inner forearms to see the split skin changed into an angry red color. A muffled gasp filled my failing lungs as its heat seeped through the layers of my body's composition, and soaked under my muscles, to finally scrape around my bones.

I stabbed my fingers into my skin of my arm—where it hurt the most—hoping that whatever was inside my bloodstream could be stopped through lack of circulation. I gasped as the thickening fire inside of my veins was so strong that it literally pushed aside my own fingersto continue to travel up my bloodstream; burning every centimeter of flesh along its path. For one second I fought the curious urge to rip open my skin so I could see the metal-like liquid for myself.

The metallic goo seemed to impossibly _multiply_ under my skin; I could feel the liquid's quantity increasing again and again; to seep down to scorch my bones, which should have been a pile of dry ashes by now. I clutched at my arms, which hurt the most, until the same metallic fire wrapped around each bone in my legs, and then my spine. My writhing body collapsed into the hot, bloody pool of the stone floor, shaking in pain, unable to do anything. When the metal twisted around my ribs, I screamed; the tears and sweat flying from my face. I lay on the ground twitching, submissive to the excruciating pain, letting it overtake me. The liquid metal grew around my skull, and I squeezed my eyes shut, an animal-like cry escaping my lips.

**Sorry about the gore, guys! I promise that that's the last of it ;D I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, and hopefully leave reviews, (it would help A LOT) and have a great day! I'll update in a few hours, so stick around if you like! **

**Yours truly,**

**Squid. **


	8. Ressurected From the Dead

_Edward's POV, One Chapter back…_

I kicked the doors to the old auditorium open with full force, and gently set Bella's trembling body down to the ground. I whirled to the doors to be sure they were locked.

I quickly latched the double doors closed from the inside; no one should be able to see her now. I turned back to Bella who was lying weakly on the ground; her chalky face was contorted, eyes flashing with fear as she stared down at her shaking hands.

"Edward!" Her screams echoed off of the otherwise silent room, to bounce back at me multiple times. The desperation flashed in her eyes, round with fear. I knelt to her side.

"Bella… You'll be alright…" I crooned desperately. Her body started to convulse, hitting the floor with alarming force each time. I pulled her frail upper body into my arms, so she wouldn't suffer head trauma. Her body writhed in my arms, and I smoothed a trembling hand over her soft hair, feeling the swollen knots on her head where the floor had made impressions on her. I felt myself flinch.

"You're going to be okay, Bella… Just hang on, just hang on…" I kept chanting to her uselessly; unsure of what to do otherwise. Bella's body shook with tremors, and a

trickle of blood rolled down the side of her mouth. _Why is she bleeding? _I wiped away the blood with the corner of my shirtsleeve, but her eyes didn't react to my touch.

I cupped a hand to her frail cheek, grimacing as I felt brittle bones beneath the thin membrane. I turned her face towards mine.

"Bella, please, _please_ look at me!" I pleaded desperately. Her eyes rolled up and flickered behind her half-closed eyelids, completely unfocused. Could she see me?

My hands shook; I didn't know what to do, finally, I just lost it. "_Don't die, you'd better not die!_" I was yelling at her feverishly as the death grip Bella's hand was making on my hand tightened. "_Bella, don't die on me!"_ Suddenly, her body stopped twitching and her half-sleeping eyes, focused, suddenly still on the ceiling. _Was she going unconscious?_

Slowly, ever so slowly, the cold hand that was clutching mine released its strain on me, and then went completely slack to fall to her side. Her entire body stopped moving. I thought she lost consciousness, until I realized she looked too strange; her eyes were half open and glassy; unseeing.

"_Oh God, no, no, no,_" I pressed an ear to her chest and strained my ears to listen for breathing, her heartbeat, anything, but all I heard was deafening silence. I was holding a dead girl in my arms.

"…Bella?" Her wide, unseeing eyes stared up at the ceiling.  
I had to try something! I frantically unzipped her jacket and unbuttoned her blouse with trembling hands, reviewing the steps to CPR in my head furiously, but as soon as her blouse was unbuttoned and pushed aside, I froze with my eyes wide on her body.

She was completely emaciated. It was obvious by the vicious rumors spread throughout the school, and even by looking at her face to know she was thin, but not skeletal; not dying.  
Her ribs stuck out awkwardly from her excavated stomach, her pelvic bones jutted out to expose a frail, hollow waist beneath pale and bruised skin.  
I couldn't pump her heart back to life now. I couldn't bring myself to risk hurting Bella; her skeletal body was already painful enough to look at. I couldn't shake the distorted picture of her frail ribs cracking under my palms, without shuddering.  
Hot, angry tears welled in my eyes; I wiped them away gruffly with the sleeve of my shirt before they could roll down my cheek. I shifted my eyes away from Bella's broken body; there was nothing that could save her. I settled my gaze to the corner of the room instead; hoping that the dust and cobwebs were distracting enough to pull me away from my own ceaseless thoughts.

The only memory I had of her resurrected and replayed in my mind; her strange eyes glaring at me as I asked for her name.

My mind scrambled as I tried to remember anything Bella had said about herself. I puzzled over it for a minute until it occurred to me why I couldn't recall the simple memories.

"_I never knew her."_ I realized. My mind arranged the short fragments of words Bella had screamed at me before she started shaking; it echoed throughout my mind until I realized what was bothering me.

_Why did she want me to lock the doors?_ I could understand her not wanting to be the center of attention; but something about the way she screeched it sounded wrong; desperate even, not to be seen. Why wouldn't she want to be seen?

_Bella… Were you hiding something?_

Everything she said was usually completely generic, almost as if she were avoiding something. A slight, subconscious thought crept up on me. I was so caught up in the excitement of speaking to Bella that I never noticed how the answers to my questions were coldly polite, and left me empty-handed. _I've been here and there… It doesn't matter… I don't have a favorite subject… I'm not sure…. _I knew nothing about her.

Against my own will, I turned my eyes back to Bella's body. I found myself staring at her lips, which were now drained of not only color, but of words.

"I knew nothing about you at all," I whispered sadly. I wished to know her now, but it was too late now, wasn't it? She's dead.

-Bella POV-

"_What the hell did I get myself into?!" _I wanted to shriek. I didn't think becoming mutated would hurt as much as this; it seemed hardly this painful in the trailers of X-Men.

The same fiery metal seared into my internal organs, I could feel it searing the pit of my stomach with its flame, moving up, to my lungs. As the hot metal scorched my lungs, I couldn't breathe—my chest felt as if it were going to explode—and my eyes rolled back into my head.

After what seemed like hours, the metal finally cooled on my bones and the flame had already passed through my lungs. The heat of the swiftly-traveling metal molted around my heart and settled there. I frantically gasped in air; glad to finally be in control of my own breathing, and that the excruciating heat was finally over.

I lay on the ground, which held a strange contrast between the coolness of the cave's floor, and the heat of my blood that warmed the natural stones beneath me. My naked body was limp, aside from the rising and falling of my lungs. With effort, I rolled my head, seeing the steam that had clouded around my sweating body on the smooth, cool floors. _At least it was quick,_ I thought to myself. The worst of it seemed to be over.

I stared at the blood around me on the floor that was hot and thick and frankly, disgusting. My body was covered in it, and I wanted to roll away from the mess, but I didn't have the strength to do so. Then I froze. _Did I just see the blood bubble around me, and move?_

I blinked my eyes over and over, swearing to God that I wasn't going crazy as the blood started rising from the floor—forming swirling, vine-like patterns in the air along with a glowing, silver elixir that intertwined gracefully in the air along with my blood. I watched it through half-open eyes. _It's so beautiful…_ I know that's a pretty morbid thought for the moment, but it truly was unlike anything I'd ever seen before.

I watched as the silver and the crimson danced through the darkness before me. My eyes followed the weightless colors until the streams of shimmering silver and blood touched the raw, jagged lines on my wrist, to flow back into my bloodstream. I could feel its warmth slowly trickling back into my body, one vein at a time as it allowed the strength to return back to my arms, my legs, and neck. I sighed wearily. I gazed down at my bare and emaciated body, staring numbly at the ribs protruding from the hollow concave of my stomach.  
As the sparkling silver elixir flooded into the raw lines near my abdomen, the hollow of my stomach slowly filled in. I watched with fascination as my starved ribs disappeared slowly, going from harsh, frail bones, to skin, and then into a flat stomach. The knobby bones of my knees and wrists filled in; it made me look healthy, for once.

It only took a moment until all the blood in my body seemed to be replaced, since the raw lines on my skin were closing, and the blood on the floor was gone. My eyes widened as the slashes across my body were finally healed, leaving faint, shining, purple scars in their place. I stared at them in awe, as a faint glow passed over them.

"Vorone, it's over." Dawn called to me. I jumped—I almost forgot she was even there. I tested my body, rolling onto my elbows slowly. I felt fine—surprisingly— and wiped the cold sweat off of my brow. I stood shakily and Dawn looked at me with a sympathetic smile. I looked down and noticed that my clothes were back on my body, and a grateful sigh escaped my lips.

"How do you feel, Vorone?" I thought about it, and pursed my lips.  
"I guess I'm okay." I paused. "Actually, I feel better than okay," I corrected myself. I flexed my arms; they felt much stronger than before.  
"You look much better. You've certainly filled in," She said sincerely. My hands slid down my sides, feeling the curves I'd never had the opportunity to feel before. I looked down in surprise and groped at my now well-rounded, perky breasts.  
"You have lovely curves." Dawn effervesced with a curve set to her lips. I laughed dryly, not sure if the pain I felt was worth the seemingly insignificant curves. Regardless, I felt my hand glide against my body for a second time though, again wondering how long this flattering, un-starved body would last me until I starved again. Dawn looked down at me strictly, her thick eyelashes almost casting a shadow against her porcelain face.  
"You will _not_ starve, Vorone." The corner of my lips turned down, sadly; I knew I couldn't escape reality for too long, even if Dawn thought I could. I didn't answer her.

"Vorone, I'm sorry, but we don't have much time. I'm going to tell you this once more. Your job is to see through your dreams, and be a body-guard to this specific person."

"Who is this person? What does 'this person' look like?"

"I'm not allowed to tell you that; our mission is simply to give you the clues that you will see in your dreams, to form a fate that you must change. You must piece the dreams together fast, though. Within a month's time, the person is already fated to be dead." I managed a quick nod since my mouth was as dry as cotton._ How could I possibly save someone I didn't know? _

"How can I save her, or him?" I was extremely doubtful I could provide this person with benevolence, despite all of the physical changes I had endured whatever it was. Dawn responded subsequently, as if my personal thoughts were visible to her.

"The process you just underwent consisted of ancient magic. You are now a genetically mutated human. You are much, much stronger than you think are."

"Can I reach you again?" I was aware that I sounded desperate, but I had too many unanswered questions that needed to be elucidated.

"You can only contact me though sleep. Outside of that—until your _final _death occurs—we will not be able to rendezvous face-to-face again. Should you die again, I _cannot_ save you." A grim oppressiveness clouded her eyes, and I nodded feverishly.  
"Are you sure I'm not dreaming?" I asked, stupidly pinching my arm between my fingers, still trying to convince myself that all of this was a dream.  
"No, you will return to Earth as you are now. Goodbye, Vorone." At that moment, all in the one second she stopped speaking, everything faded away from my eyes. As if the granite floors had suddenly disappeared beneath my feet, I was falling into a deep, dark pit of nothingness at an alarming rate.

**Hey fellow followers, thank you again for reading and your support. I never take any audience for granted, and I sure am pleased to see so many of you interesting in this story. I will definitely update tomorrow. If you like, tell me what you think by typing in a review, It'd sure help out a WHOLE lot. Have a great night guys,**

**Love,**

**Your Squid. **


	9. You're not alone You have me

**-Edward POV-**

"If only I had fed her... If only I stopped her from running too fast..." I pathetically wished I could resurrect her, so I could do it over with her... Understand her… Talk to her… And feed her, at least.  
Suddenly, I noticed her stomach fill in... Her pelvic bones disappeared into her hips. Her waist filled in, with beautiful curves as her ribs diminished into the healthy flesh. I blinked hard. Was I imagining this? I'll admit, I've fantasized over what her body might look like, but it wasn't this vivid, I definitely didn't have the creativity to imagine her death.  
No, I wasn't imagining this. Even the hollow of Bella's cheeks filled in slowly, and a pretty crimson color returned to color her lips. Her body suddenly convulsed once, as if she we're shocked by paddles and her eyes flickered open.

"Edward?" She breathed.  
"Bella…" I was at a loss for words. "T-thank god. You're alright." I stammered, and pulled up her upper body in a tight embrace, already feeling the difference between her previously brittle bones and her now firm, but silky-soft skin.  
She nodded, sleepily as if in a dream until her eyes widened and she groped at her body. Her new body. She stared down in amazement at herself.  
"It wasn't a dream…" She murmured, mostly to herself. "I'm really alive."  
"I'm not letting you out of my sight." I said seriously. Bella's eyes flared with anger for a moment. She growled and grabbed my hand with a death grip as she stomped out of the room, dragging me with her.  
_

Bella had grabbed my hand, and sprinted from the school's back doors, with a wild, angered look in her eyes. As soon as we were behind the building, Bella let go of my hand and sighed, maybe from relief, but it sounded heavier than it should've been. The feeling of her hand against mine still lingered. Her eyes were gloomy—well, gloomier than usual. I heard her mumble something under her breath. I couldn't hear it clearly, but it sounded like, "_What have I gotten myself into?" _I touched her shoulder, stopping her in her tracks.

"What's wrong?" She had a distant gaze about her eyes—as if she were replaying a memory in her head. It took her a moment to answer.

"It's nothing." She said. It was so obvious that it wasn't just 'nothing.' She was sad—it was written all over her, in the cloudiness of her eyes, and the slight raise to her eyebrows. What bothered me most though was that she wasn't telling me.

"Will you stop that?!" I exclaimed, throwing up my arms in annoyance.

"What?" She asked with those same dull eyes.

"I can read it—" I told her, annoyed. "It's completely obvious you're hiding whatever it is you're feeling, so stop lying to yourself!" Her eyes still had that half-closed, bored look to them. Had she ever really opened her eyes before? I tried to imagine her as a child, with wide, bright brown eyes, but I couldn't.

"Does it really matter?" Bella asked wearily. It was obvious her patience was rubbing down like tires on asphalt.

"Yes!" I exclaimed, exasperated to the point of irritation. I took her shoulders in my hands seriously. "Bella, what happens at your house?! It's like you're always avoiding the subject—do your parents abuse you?" She was so fast—I saw her eyebrows arch and I didn't even see her hand as it whipped across the air.

She slapped me across the face.

She must've hit me hard—my head whipped to the side. As the sting settled, Bella screeched out,

"NO! STOP! JUST—JUST—DON'T EVER TALK ABOUT MY PARENTS! IT'S NOT LIKE YOU GIVE A DAMN, OR I GIVE A DAMN, SO JUST STOP!" Bella's eyes widened as she realized that she had forgotten her calm, controlled demeanor.

As if she were trying to explain, she murmured sadly,

"They don't…" But she trailed off, and her eyes looked distant.

I stayed silent. I didn't want to look up at her eyes, so I found myself looking down at my Converse and nudging at the yellowed grass growing between the cracks of the pavement.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled quietly. "That wasn't my business. I didn't mean to hurt you. All I want to know is if you're okay."

I expected a razor-tongued answer to lash out at me the millisecond I stopped speaking.

When it didn't come, I finally looked up to see tears welling in her eyes. For the first time I remembered, I saw Bella's true face, where she didn't hide anything and just cried.

I approached her slowly—like a deranged animal, I was afraid she might bite me or something. All my uncertainty went away though, when my hand settled itself on her face, where I wiped away one of her tears. I knew I went too far when I felt her side against my palm, and she automatically glared at me. She pushed my hand aside with a slender finger, and I awkwardly dropped my hand from her face.

"My dad was murdered a long time ago." I couldn't believe I finally said it. And what was even stranger, why was I telling this to _her_? Why did I keep going?

"Bella… There was no one there for me when it happened, but… if someone were there for me; I would've wanted them to tell me that 'you're not alone.'" I said softly, hoping I wasn't talking too much. I put a hand on her frail shoulder, and she didn't push it away—I took that as a good sign.

"You're not alone. You have me." I urged softly. Bella sniffed and cleared her throat.

"Okay," She muttered hoarsely. "You go first."

"Huh?"

"What happened to you? I'll try to explain to you what just happened, but you have to go first."

"Okay. I'll tell you my story, but at least let me buy you a soda." I felt bad for her, just remembering the feel of her ribs against my hand made me want to flinch. She parted her lips, as if to object, until she shook her head as if to think, _this day can't get any stranger_. She finally sighed.

"It's a deal." I opened the passenger door to the Porsche, and she got in.

**Hey readers of the Squid Clan, I hope you've enjoyed this Chapter. Thank you for the review, it's been very helpful, please continue posting, it really does make my day 3 Next chapter, I would like to input a small personal story, from Edward's POV. Problem is, I'm not sure how it should go. Any ideas? **

**Thanks again guys!**

**Your Squid. **


	10. You're Homeless?

After driving to a nearby golden arch, I pushed Bella a tray of large fries, a burger and a soda. She looked at me in disgust.

"Edward Cullen, what _the hell _is this?"

"High amounts of fat, cholesterol, and sodium clumped in a highly appetizing ball of a heart attack. Everything _you_ need."

"Why do _I_ need this?"

"I think the question is, 'why _don't_ you need this?'" I knew she was trying to find excuses to push away the tray, but I wasn't going to let her.

"You know, I've never ditched school before?" She said, trying desperately to change the subject. I ignored her.

"Bella, if you don't eat a fry right now, I am going to bite your finger." I stared at her level in the eye. Her lips turned up in a snicker, her expression was amused.

"Bite my finger?" She repeated in disbelief. I nodded, all serious.

"You heard me."

"Edward, you can't be serious."

"Oh, you never know," I teased. "Someday you might want all of your fingers intact."

"Edward—" She tried to protest exasperatingly.

"Bella, just eat it—you know you could use some meat on your ribs." She glared at me.

"Edward, shut up."

"No offense." I added with a grin. "Just eat."

When Bella opened her mouth to protest again, I shoved a French fry between her parted lips. Before I could withdraw, she bit my finger along with the French fry, and I laughed.

"What do you know?" I remarked. "You bit my finger before I could get to you first."

That made her smile for the first time. I'd never seen her grin before, and it made me smile a little too. I was right. She _was _beautiful when she smiled. If I had known that a corny joke like this would make her smile, I would have mentioned the million knock-knock jokes I had stored up my sleeves.

"So," She mused. "You came here to tell me your story. I'll eat all of this—" She gestured to the tray of food with a finger, "—If you keep your end of the bargain." I smirked. She had a way with bargains.

"All right. So, what did you want to hear, from my story?"

"You said something about your father being murdered…" It wasn't a suggestion—it was a question_. She isn't forcing it on me,_ I thought. Despite her… well, "unusual" appearance, she actually was considerate.

"Um…Yeah." I said absently. "He was murdered." Her eyes gazed into mine, and she said softly,

"I'm sorry. I know how you feel." I was drawn into her entrancing eyes again… They were hard to look away from, but I shook myself of it.

"Thanks. Don't worry; it was a long time ago." I said with a shrug.

"Who do you live with now?" She chewed on a piece of her burger.

"I live with my mom and dad, Alice, my younger sister, and Claire, my baby sister." I said. Bella nodded.

"But er… they're not my 'real' parents." I used air quotes with my fingers. I looked down at the table and saw a reflection of my face on the smooth plastic; seeing my own eyes bitter as I remembered the past.  
"My biological mother, Victoria, she was a prostitute. She sold herself for money." I looked at Bella, expecting her to hide a snicker as she made a snide remark on my mom, like all of my friends did when they heard the story. _"Oh, Cullen, the pretty boy's mom was a slut? Shocker…"_ But peculiarly, she didn't say anything.

"Go on," She urged, chewing on a fry, seemingly engaged.

"Um… Okay…" I said. My mind was completely distrait. "Um… After my mom was arrested, my dad was hired to help her. She wasn't exactly 'mentally stable' and as a doctor, my dad, wanted to help her. He did as much as he could—she was almost stable, but, somewhere in between, my mother unleashed her..._ beauty_," I spit the word; I was still repulsed by the mere thought of my mother's face; so alike to my own face, which I was repulsed by even more. "—on my gullible and innocent father. And then... Well, I happened. My dad loved my mother, and she loved him back." I said distantly. _Or so I thought._

"I loved my parents too. We had a normal, happy life… And then the war started. All chaos broke out, and my dad—obviously being rushed back and forth to the hospital—didn't have enough time to keep a good eye out for my mom. I was a little kid back then... I didn't know what was happening to her. I noticed that everyday she seemed more distant, in a trance, speaking less everyday, and sleeping more. I didn't think anything of it… I just thought she was just tired. So one day, my dad had a rare day off, and he was taking a nap." I paused, to scan Bella's expression, (I was worried she would be bored,) but her eyes were alert, and intense, and I kept going.

"Every time my dad had a day off, like any other typical Sunday afternoon, I'd always run up the stairs in a hurry to reach my dad's room, to ask him if he wanted to play baseball. His door would always be open welcomingly, and I'd burst in, usually out of breath. As I panted to catch my breath, he'd ruffled my hair, and with a big smile, ask me routinely before I could ask, "Hey sport, wanna play some ball?" But on that day for the first time… His door was closed.

To make things even shadier, I heard strange, muffled sounds coming from the other side of the door. I turned the knob, and opened it. I found my mother straddling my dad, screaming incomprehensible gibberish while she stabbed him over and over with the knife from the kitchen. It was like she was disconnected from the person she was; she couldn't recognize any of us… As if she were a predator hunting, she was oblivious of her surroundings." My throat felt thick, and I felt uneasy just remembering it.

"I still remember seeing the thick blood dripping down her elbows, and seeing my dad's wide-open eyes. His blood was spattered everywhere." I said softly. I stole a glance at Bella and she was looking back at me; the mixed feelings were exposed in her eyes. Though it was all in the past, I still remembered it as if it all happened yesterday. Bella looked deep into my eyes, and I felt at a loss for words.

"Why did she do that?" She whispered. I shrugged. I had asked myself the same question a million times over the past six years, and I still didn't know the answer.

"I can't be sure whether she did that because she was off meds, (I think she was schizophrenic) or if she had planned it the whole time. I still remember seeing her satisfied expression as she turned him on his side, and dug out his wallet from his back pocket. Like the idiot I was, though, when she turned to leave the room, I was too shocked to hide, and she saw me. She was still holding the knife tight in her hands. And I knew I had to run." I said. "I ran down the stairs like my life depended on it, and hid in the closet. I remember locking the door from the inside, and hearing her footsteps circling me as she scanned the house. I heard her speaking sugary, on the other side of the wall,

'Edward... Come out, sweetie," She tried cooing, but I shivered. Her tone changed with my silence, and she snapped angrily, 'Edward!' She sighed in frustration, and finally vowed icily.

'Edward... I know you can hear me...' She snickered. 'I will find you. I will find you Edward, and kill you, and everything that means anything to you.' Even after I heard her close the front door to leave the house, I couldn't move. I was frozen there for three days." I said. "As soon as I got my thoughts together, though, I knew I needed to get out of the house. So I ran, like a little baby. Soon, I was hungry, and I decided that I needed to survive." Something in Bella's eyes flickered as soon as I said that, and her stunning eyes were entirely focused on me.

"You… stole?" She said slowly. I nodded, unsure of how to decipher her expression, and then continued.

"I ran and ran for a few hours… Until I wasn't sure of my surroundings anymore. I was in a row of really big, expensive looking houses. And that was the first time I tried to steal. As soon as I snuck in through a back door and tried to open the refrigerator though, a couple named Carlisle and Esme—my current parents—caught me, and felt sorry for me, so they adopted. I guess I'm a pretty lousy thief. To conclude my story though, ever since then, I've been happy. I'm grateful for my parents and sisters." Bella chewed on a French fry thoughtfully as I finished my story. When she swallowed, she finally remarked,

"You know, I was wrong." I stared at her incredulously. Of all the different things she could've said, she chose to admit that _she _was wrong?

"You were wrong?" I repeated with a dumb-struck expression. "What were you wrong about?" I asked.

"You." She said; her gaze intent on my eyes. It took me a second to respond—I was so absorbed in the color of her eyes that I was practically drinking in the chocolate color of them.

"Oh, really?" I smiled to hide the curiosity that was itching inside me now.

"Yes. See, I'm good at judging people. Assessing them. For instance—" Her eyes flickered to a man standing in line at the counter. "See that man?" I nodded. "He works at a busy bank, and he caught the flu, but he didn't bother to take a day off because he wants the best for his children. How noble." Bella remarked. My mouth hung open, agape.  
"How did you know that?"

"I listened to his phone call, and looked at his uniform."

"Wait—what does this have to do with me?"

"I had assessed you—and everyone else around, for that matter—the same way I had assessed him. I thought I knew who you were already, but clearly, you proved me wrong." She said, sipping at her drink, which soon ran dry. She smiled sheepishly.

"Thanks for the food and the story. Both were great." She smiled tentatively, and strangely, I felt caught off guard.

"Yeah. No problem." I said. I stretched across the table to poke a finger to her stomach. "You're squishy." I said; all smiles. She looked a little hurt. "That's good. You need squishy." I added. She smiled a little at that one. "Come on, I'll drive you home."

"I don't think you want to do that." She said. Her bright smile was abruptly replaced with her customarily dull expression. It made me sorry I even asked—I wished I'd kept silent so I could see her smile a little longer.

"Why not?" I asked, genuinely confused.

"Please," She pleaded, suddenly serious. "Let's not talk about this now." I nodded immediately.

"Okay. Where are you going to stay tonight?" I asked, suddenly aware of her situation.

"I-I don't know." She stammered quietly, avoiding my eyes. I suddenly felt sorry for her, and concerned. I would not let her sleep in the cold, especially not after almost losing her. No way.

"Bella, I know your circumstances are taking…" I fumbled for the right word as I ran a hand nervously through my hair. "An unfortunate toll right now, and you don't have to tell me what happened but," I drew in a breath slowly before continuing, as sincerely as I possibly could. "I'd feel much, much better if you just stayed at my house tonight." Her eyes widened as if in suspicion, and I assured her quickly, "There's no catch. I just… Don't want you out in the cold. That's all." There was an awkward silence. "Please, just accept my offer."

She nodded, and murmured quietly,

"Okay." In my entire life, I had never been so happy to hear that word. She opened her mouth as if to speak, but then closed it.

"What is it?" She hesitated before she opened her mouth again.

"Will you… Come with me, someplace?"

"Anywhere," I agreed so immediately that it shocked me. "Where would you like to go?"

"My… home." She looked up at me, her face solemn as she sighed. "You have a right to know." She added quietly, as if she were trying to convince herself. She took my hand in hers and led me back to the car.

Bella had given me simple directions until we had reached the center of Forks, where most of the war had touched and destroyed. Bella quietly told me to stop the car, and I parked.

"We're here." Bella said quietly. I stared at the building before us. It read in big, dusty, what probably used to be neon pink letters,  
"The Cheshire Cat Casino." Like many other hotels, this place had gone out of business with the war. I raised an eyebrow as I turned back to Bella.  
"This is where you-?" Bella's cold, slim finger pushed against my lips, cutting me off.  
"I know." Her eyes bored into mine with a glare so fierce, it could make road kill die twice. I stared cross-eyed at the finger on my lips—they were so cold.

"Don't say anything. Just come with me." She said, as she released her finger. My lips tingled; still remembering the icy electricity Bella's finger had brought to them.

Bella led me behind a high fence and through a broken window with ease; she'd done this many times before; it was obvious in the way she could leap fluidly through the broken window, and in contrast, the way I almost crashed through it.  
"Careful," She warned me, her voice rose over the wind that whistled between the shattered window's cracks. I stepped gingerly around the burned artifacts once I was inside-old lamps and couches decorated the now grey and dusty space.

I wondered what this place looked like when there was still life everywhere. I pictured people in fancy clothing, holding tall glasses of wine between graceful fingers. Bella snapped me out of my daydream as she hissed,

"Watch it!" right before my feet collided with a collapsed lamp stand.

"Thanks…" I muttered, stepping around the rubble.

I continued to follow Bella cautiously as she led me into the back of the lobby, where the draft wasn't as harsh. My cheeks thanked her greatly for that-I hated the cold, and apparently, so did my face. I looked down, as Bella had stopped in her tracks, seemingly on purpose.

Bella's glazed eyes stared down by her feet, with the usual half-disinterested, half-tired expression. I glanced down to her feet, too. By her rugged sneakers were a crumpled pile of sheets on the dusty floor, with bits of old pillows. Bella stood numbly at its side, with her hands in her pockets, staring at the crumpled sheets with an unreadable expression.  
"What is this?" I asked, nudging the sheets with my foot. Maybe it was an old place for a dog to...  
"That's my bed you're kicking around." She snapped. I immediately jerked back my foot.  
"This is your bed?" When she gave no answer, I exclaimed, "Bella, this is no home!"  
"Edward. You're telling me this as if I didn't know I'm homeless."  
"…Homeless?" I asked stupidly.  
"You know the meaning just as well as I do!" She snapped. "It means-" Her voice grew louder with every word, echoing off the walls with a ring. "-no place to return, no family, no friends, being an orphan, sleeping in drafty, shut down hotels, moving around all the time so cops don't catch you, and using old sheets a bed! Yes, Edward, I am _fucking_ homeless!"  
"Oh..." Came my stupid, lame reply before I could think of anything else to say. What was I supposed to say in a tragic situation like this? 'I'm sorry'? She would be offended; she didn't like being pitied… Or 'it's okay' (when obviously it's not...)  
Bella gave me the glare that I expected.

"I got it. You don't want to be with someone like me," She shifted her glance, and sat down, onto the crumpled sheets with a sigh, head hung. "I'm not surprised. Go home, Edward." Against my own will, my body disconnected from my brains and acted on impulse. I knelt in front of her, and my hands grabbed her frail shoulders. I stared into her eyes seriously.  
"Bella, I don't care about that. Please say you'll still come over my house." the words tumbled out of my mouth before I could even think through what I had just said.  
She gave me a bug-eyed stare, her lips parting slowly, and questioningly.

"…What?" She asked slowly, as if she didn't hear me correctly. I didn't blame her for the confusion—heck, even I was confused. What on earth was I saying?

"This is as sudden for me as it is for you." I assured her as sincerely as I could. My eyes searched the stormy sea of her eyes. I was hoping Bella could assure herself and justify my honesty through my own eyes. "I'm serious." I said softly.

_Why are you doing this?_ The little voice in the back of my head asked me, and a sudden playback of my dreams answered my own question. Even after the short reverie, I couldn't help but think of the Bella in my dreams, with the tears cascading down her cheeks. I couldn't just ignore them, or turn off the images as I was a robot. I couldn't turn away.  
"Bella, my house is not huge or anything, but I have a couch in my room I could sleep on, and you can take my bed." Bella's eyes melted for a moment, into liquid glass. Did she trust me?

The touched expression in her eyes flickered before they disappeared as quickly as they came. Suspicion narrowed her eyes and she crossed her arms.  
"Why would you do that for me?" She asked, eyeing me as if I had tied a string to her arm and was about to jerk it back. _Why _would_ I do that for her?_ I asked myself.  
Because I pity you...

Because I see you in my mind, and I have no idea why…

Because you fascinate me...

Because I have a strange urge to protect you...  
Because the more you push me away, the closer I want to get...  
What was I supposed to say? So instead, I just wrapped my arms around her frail body. She stiffened, and I murmured,  
"Just let me do this. Please. Have a little faith in me." I felt her body relax a little as she nodded against my chest; probably against her own will, but still—regardless, I was ecstatic.  
"Okay... Thank you..." She said quietly, as she pulled away from me and stared down at her shoes again. If I wasn't beside Bella, I would have done "the touchdown dance" that I reserve only for Monday Night Football, and hiss, "score…!" with a big, huge, grin on my face. Luckily though, I didn't, but a smile I couldn't contain stretched across my cheeks anyways. "Let's go then!"

**Thanks for reading guys! Please post any questions/comments/concerns in the review box below, if you're idle, that is. **

**Have a great day, and happy new years! **

**Your Squid. **


	11. The Cullen Household

**MY FELLOW SQUID MATES... **

**Welcome. Sorry about the delay, time-wise. I am super bad at managing my hectic schedule and scribbled this up. Hope you like it!**

**PS... For anyone that is interested, I was wondering if you would like to ask me questions on anything, story-related, real-life related, or even food related! Feel free to ask anything, and I will answer it! Enjoy!**

* * *

Bella POV

The car ride wasn't long, and it was pleasant. Edward turned on the radio and hummed along to a soft melody. I strained my ears to listen… I liked the sound of his voice. It was soft, and mellifluous.

"Do you sing a lot?" I asked suddenly. Edward blushed.

"No, I usually never sing." I nodded and he carried on, humming to the music. When Edward abruptly stopped, I turned to him.

"We're almost here." I'd been so engrossed in Edward's almost-singing that I hadn't realized we'd turned into a gated neighborhood, with castle-like homes, and lush, green gardens. It screamed one thing. Rich.

"Is everything alright?" Edward asked, seeing my mouth gaped open in disbelief.

"You _live _here?" He nodded as he parked in a large and spacious garage.

"Don't be intimidated," He mentioned with a playful wink. Despite what he said though, I found the front door to be extremely large and intimidating. Once Edward pushed it open, I realized that the entire neighbor and the door was nothing compared to the interior of the Cullen's home.

The parlor had white tiles that gleamed against the sunshine streaming in through large, glass windows. I heard a cheery voice call out from somewhere within the house, I strained my ears to listen, but I couldn't tell where it came from, the house echoed too much.  
"Welcome home, Edward!" I bit my lip at the thought of meeting Edward's mother. He tilted his head towards the doorway, in the "go on," gesture, as he guided me into a large kitchen, where a pretty woman was flipping through a cooking book. She appeared to be in her mid thirties, but could have been younger. Her posture was straight as she sat on one of the tall barstools; her cup of tea was pinched between delicate fingers.

"I was getting worried, you are late." She mused, as she sipped at her tea. She hadn't noticed me yet… Maybe I could just turn away and…  
"Mom," Edward pulled me from the wall I'd been hiding behind and I mentally kicked myself. "I brought a friend over."  
"A guest? How exciting!" She hopped gracefully off of the barstool, in a childlike fashion to greet me. "I'm Esme," She rushed up to shake my hand warmly, and I couldn't help but smile timidly back at her.  
"I'm Bella," I said cautiously, making sure my American accent was perfectly intact. "It's nice to meet you." I added conventionally. Esme turned to Edward.

"Will Bella be staying with us for dinner?" He nodded. Esme flashed a smile in my direction. "I hope you like spaghetti fettuccine and meatballs," I nodded eagerly and my mouth watered. Spaghetti. Edward thankfully broke the soft silence.  
"Mom, where is Claire?"  
"She's watching the rerun of that old show, Barney." Esme smiled with a playful roll of her eyes. Edward grinned.  
"I think we're going to go play with Claire for a while."

"That's fine. Get her away from the TV a while, would you?" Edward grinned.

"That's the idea." He motioned for me to follow him, and I murmured a soft 'thank you,' towards Esme.

"It's nice to meet you, Bella." She called out cheerfully. Edward chuckled, and leaned down to murmur,

"How do you like my mom?"

"She's…" I searched for the right word; only one could come to mind. "She's…Beautiful." I said softly. With her flowing brown hair and soft figure, she was in every essence of what a mother should look like. I wondered if my mother looked like Esme, and enjoyed cooking and tending to her family... And making spaghetti…

"You know," Edward mused, breaking me from my own thoughts. "She seemed to really like you." I raised an eyebrow questioningly.

"What makes you say that?"

"She's never been so delighted to have me bring a girl to the home before." I scowled at him. Surely she didn't think…

"Be sure that your mother knows that I'm just a _friend_, okay? I don't want her to get the wrong impression of me…"

"Of course," He murmured sincerely, however, a mischievous smile twisted his lips and I was seriously concerned. We continued walking in a comfortable silence through the impossibly large hallway, until we reached a light, spacious room, with a wide sofa and a TV set. In front of the TV set, sat the cutest girl I'd ever seen in my life.

She had honey-blonde hair, almost like Edward's, and somehow had his brown eyes, despite the lack of blood-related connection. Her rosy cheeks and chubby hands only added to her charming demeanor, and I wondered why she wasn't casted in a baby food commercial.  
"Hey, Claire-Bear!" Edward chimed. Her eyes snapped open wide, and a genuine smile stretched across her face as he opened his arms invitingly.

"Edward-Pedward!" She greeted him enthusiastically, rushing to give his leg a hug. Edward chuckled and gently disengaged himself from Claire. He knelt before her, and spoke in a calming tone.  
"Claire, I brought a friend over today. Will you be nice to her?" She nodded eagerly, her tiny head bobbed up and down furiously. He chuckled.

"Well then, Claire, I'd like you to meet Bella. Bella, this is my little sister, Claire." Before I could draw in a breath for a 'hello,' she rushed over and clamped onto my leg with a fiercely affectionate hug.

"Bella." She sang as tested my name on her lips. "Bella!" She seemed contented with the sound of my name, and continued. "You can watch TV with me and Edward-Pedward!" I laughed lightly, she was cute.

"Only if you show us the good channels." She nodded solemnly. Edward and I leaned against the couch as Claire played with her dolls in front of the neglected TV. Silence wasn't an option with Claire; she joyfully chattered on about her day until Edward's mother called out for dinner. Edward guided me through the long halls again, and brought me to the table. My mouth gaped open stupidly.

The dining table itself was large and elegant enough to serve a king, and spread out on the table cloth before us was a feast. The fresh bread scented the air with a heady fragrance, and a heaping bowl of spaghetti was beside it. My mouth watered in vain; I could've kicked myself for being so needy.

As I seated myself across from Edward, a blur of motion caught the corner of my eye, and I turned to see a thin girl dancing down the stairs. Her hazel eyes widened in surprise as she locked eyes with me. Edward cleared his throat.

"Oh, Alice, this is Bella. Bella, this is my sister, Alice."

"Hello," I offered. She looked suspicious as she apprehended me, before muttering an unenthusiastic 'hi.' I turned to Edward, cocking my eyebrow. He shook his head, as if telling me to disregard her. Esme came into the room, with a high-chair for Claire, who wailed impatiently, with her arms open.  
"Dig in, kids!" I didn't need to be told twice, I helped myself happily, making sure I chewed before I swallowed. Though my body was no longer emaciated, it had been a while since I had tasted food, (this afternoon being an exception, of course.) I was surprised I didn't hear a thud as the food hit my empty stomach.  
"So, Bella," Xavier's mom started conversationally. "How did you meet Edward?" I struggled to keep a truthful façade between the lies I knew I was going to tell.  
"I'm... New to this town." _Liar._ "Edward is in my history class." Esme nodded understandingly.  
"Where did you come from?"  
"Seattle." I said automatically. That was where Dawn's mother had lived. Thank the heavens I had already created a profile for myself, based off of the life of Dawn's deceased mother.  
"That must've been a difficult change," Esme murmured empathetically. "Do your parents work here, in Forks?"  
"Oh, no... Um..." I looked down, for the first time unsure of what to say. "I... I am not very close with my parents anymore." _That wasn't a lie. I'd never met them, after all._  
"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that," Esme said sympathetically. I could tell in the way that her eyebrows rose that she was genuinely concerned, just as Edward had been. That must've been where Edward received his manners from… I chewed on my spaghetti thoughtfully. Soon, I had finished my plate, and Edward and I spoke of small things together until Esme interrupted.  
"I'm sorry Bella, can you excuse us for a moment?"  
"Yes, of course," I immediately complied. Edward gave me an apologetic smile as he followed his mother to the kitchen. I stayed seated obediently at the dinner table, but strained my ears to hear what they were saying in the kitchen. I heard them softly arguing.  
"Mom, she has no where to go." Edward's voice was passionate, and guilt burned in the pit of my stomach. He didn't know he was taking in a criminal. I heard Esme sigh.  
"I know, and I truly am concerned, Edward, but where do you propose she stays?" His answer was swift; he'd already thought this through.  
"She can stay in my bedroom." She sighed.  
"Edward, young man, I have raised you to be respectful to women. I am not doubting you, but a 17 year old girl sleeping in your bed will certainly change the... Circumstances. Especially with your teenage hormones raging and whatnot-"  
"Mom..." He groaned, until she cut him off.  
"I expect you to be gentlemanly with her." A blush blazed my cheekbones when I realized that Esme's main worry was that Edward would take advantage of me. I rarely ever thought about sex... hearing it in a conversation I was eavesdropping on made the forbidden subject even more awkward and unappealing.  
"It's a deal." Edward agreed without hesitation. "Bella will sleep on my bed. I'll take the couch." I heard his soft footsteps pad across the wooden floor, until I heard them stop abruptly. Esme muttered something about stubbornness until she cleared her throat.  
"Young man, you will be most courteous to her, do you hear? She's obviously been through a lot, and I'm not going to have you put her through anymore pain." It warmed my heart to know that Esme truly cared about me.  
"That's all I want for her." Edward said simply. She exhaled.  
"You'll do the dishes for the rest of the month. And anything Bella may need, you will pay for." It wasn't a question, but I could practically hear Edward nodding feverishly. Esme sighed, as if letting go of him.  
Edward returned to the dining room looking triumphed.  
"My mom is fine with you staying overnight. I have to do the dishes first, but do you want me to run a bath?" I nodded before I could stop myself. He grinned crookedly.

"Let's go then."


	12. Goodnight, Edward

After Edward and I had trotted up the stairs, Edward insisted on giving me a quick tour of where I was going to stay. It was an unnecessary gesture; I protested weakly saying that i was fine without assistance, but Edward insisted with a crooked grin and in pathetically accented Spanish, "Mi casa e su casa."

He led me down the long hallway; it was filled to almost the ceiling with framed pictures. I peered at each of them carefully, out of sheer curiosity.  
"Is this you?" Edward took a quick glance at the photo before blushing sheepishly.  
"Yeah. I was six." The picture held a flaxen-haired boy smiling with cake smeared over his fingers. I smiled. "I was eating cake at a birthday party." There were more pictures, of a pale girl with dark curls in her hair, whom I assumed was Alice. The few pictures of a blonde baby girl could be none other than Claire. I stopped at one of the framed memories. It was recently taken-in the picture, Edward sat at a pink table with Claire, surrounded by stuffed animals, with a pink crown that sat on his head questioned his manhood. I smiled a bit, but let my fingertips brush over the photo delicately.  
"You really love them, don't you?" I murmured absent-mindedly, mostly to myself.  
"Yeah. Claire and Alice mean the world to me. It isn't everyday a family is made." I nodded wistfully, wondering if I had a sibling, what kind of sister I could've been; if my imaginary sister acted playful, like Claire, or mischivous, like Alice... I shook my head of the foolish thought. Who cares?

Edward brought me to a stop at the door opposing Claire's room. It was white, and revealed no sign of personalization. As if reading my mind, Edward explained,  
"This is my room." He pushed it open with gusto.

I smiled in approval towards Edward. His room was pleasant, with dark walls that I found calming. The pale carpet felt soft beneath my bare feet, and the furnishings were rather simple. A bed, a couch opposing it, and a lone desk sat between the wall and bay windows.

A blur of movement caught my eye and i stiffened as i whirled to it's source with clenched fists. Edward had tossed a piece of cloth across the room and under his bed.  
"Sorry 'bout that…" He mumbled shyly. Clearly those were his boxers, and I blushed, immediately feeling ridiculous for assuming that either of us were in danger. I uncurled my fists. "I'll be sleeping here tonight," Edward interupted my thoughts as he motioned to the couch near the footboard. I nodded, and Edward opened the door opposing his couch. "And this is my bathroom."

If I had thought the Cullen home was large, his bathroom had clearly proven me wrong. Huge was an understatement. The marble floors sparkled, and the jet bath gleamed in the corner of the room. His toilet even had me speculating.

Edward awkwardly cleared his throat and turned the on faucets on the bath. He excused himself momentarily and returned with spare towels, which he handed to me. "You can use these. Do you need anything else?" I shook my head, I felt so grateful i was at a loss of words. What more could i possibly need? As if reading my mind, Edward smiled kindly. "Just holler if you need me." Edward flashed me a grin as I nodded, again feeling a loss for words.

"Thank you," I managed to say too late. I hoped he could hear the gratitude in my voice as he left the room to give me privacy.  
I closed the door and locked it behind me. After stripping out of my dirty clothes that looked extremely out of place on the clean, white marble, I stared at my unfamiliar body in the mirror.

My ribs didn't show. My skin was no longer pallid; in fact, it glowed healthily under the bright lighting fixtures. My nipped waist flared into curvy hips, and my breasts... Well, they were nothing short of amazing, considering the transformation they had undergone. I remembered earlier today, before the... 'mutation' had happened. I barely had fat on my chest and along with it, tight, puckered nipples. Now my breasts were full, and rounded… They looked soft. I hesitantly brought a hand up to feel them. Oh. They _were_ soft.

I shook my head, utterly ashamed at my own disgraceful behavior. Why was I acting so vain today? I gingerly stepped into the tub, and hissed at the scalding water, before nevertheless sinking in slowly. I had never taken a hot bath before. Showers only... Even hot showers was considered a luxury to me.

I took a moment to withdraw the breath I'd been holding-the warm water felt wonderful on rejuvenating my sore muscles. I struggled to remember what it was that made my muscles ache, but with a sudden chill, I remembered my death, my mutation. I shuddered; just at the mere thought of remembering an ounce of those flames were more than horrid enough.

After lathering my hair with a shampoo that I'd assumed was Alice's, I wrapped myself in a large, oversized towel and stepped into Xavier's room. Thank god he was still washing dishes.

Unsure of what to wear, since my clothes from earlier today were clearly not an option,  
I peered into Edward's drawer, and pawed through the selection. Size medium, medium, medium... Small! I pulled a loose flannel shirt on and felt myself flinch when a knock on the door startled me. I wrapped a towel around my bare waist as I asked shakily,

"Who is it?" The door opened noiselessly, and to my great relief, a small face peered out.

"Oh, Alice," I breathed. "It's just you." She nodded.  
"I brought you these," She handed me a bag and motioned for me to open it. I peered into it. There were pairs of women's underwear and bras. What a lifesaver. "Thank you, so much." She nodded with a frown.  
"Its fine. They're too big for me, anyways. I'm too skinny." I smiled sadly and sympathetically. After all, I knew how that felt.  
"Who told you that?"  
"Everyone at school thinks I'm a stick." Her lower lip jutted out unhappily.  
"Don't believe them." I said. "You're beautiful." she smiled timidly. I had a feeling that despite her extroverted exterior, Alice was shy, and even insecure.  
"Thanks." Alice left the room. I gratefully pulled on a cotton bra and underwear set beneath the flannel and boxers I'd 'borrowed' from Edward.

I was drying my hair with a towel as Edward came up, with a polite smile.

"How was your bath?" He was so curtious... It brought suspicion to me.  
"Good. Thanks." i murmured. He grinned, and I wondered why he was being so nice to me? It was almost too good to be true.

Edward cleared his throat, and I immediately lost track of my thoughts.

"Are you ready for bed?" I nodded while stiffling a yawn, not realizing how exhausted i really was as I moved towards the couch. My knees buckled out from under me, causing me to collapse onto the couch. I sighed in euphoria as I reclined against the pillow. This made my crumpled-sheet-bed in the Cheshire Cat Hotel seem like no exception.

"Goodnight." I murmured towards Edward, with my eyes closed.

"Bella, don't sleep there, you'll have back pain in the morning." I opened an eye to glare at him, not truly angry, as if reminding him that back-pain was a constant figure in my life. He smiled apologetically.

"Right, sorry. But remember what I told you? I'll take the couch, you sleep on my bed." I shook my head against him, with my eyes still closed.

"I'm plenty comfortable here, thanks." I mumbled. I truly was. I heard Edward sigh and his weight shifted to the edge of the couch.

"If it bothers you that much, we can take turns, but I'll sleep on the couch tonight, okay?" I hesitated before taking him up on his offer. I opened my eyes to see his face propped up on his arms, by the edge of the couch.  
"Are you sure?" I murmured sleepily. He nodded, with a smile.

"Do you need me to carry you?" Edward helped me up from the couch, and I shook my head, surprisingly not as repulsed as I thought I'd be with an offer like that from Edward. I was exhausted though. I crawled into the bed tiredly and rolled onto my side, (how I usually slept,) and withdrew a breath I didn't know I'd been holding. I was so comfortable. I opened an eye, to see Edward staring at me, with a soft, sad smile on his face.

"Never slept on a mattress before, huh?" I shook my head sleepily and closed my eyes. Not in a few years, I hadn't. Not since my days of slave work, where they provided everyone with a thin bunk to rest in. I was especially determined to prolonge this experience of a real bed as long as it lasted. I was almost afraid someone would come, and pull it out from beneath me, with a snicker,

'Just kidding.'

I had always been taken advantage of in my life, and I couldn't help but wonder why Edward was acting so sincere to me. I had done nothing to earn his trust, yet, he believed he didn't deserve mine. I heard the soft rustling of bedsheets, and I knew Edward was reclining against the couch now.

"Goodnight Edward," I sighed, not expecting anyone in particular to hear me. I heard a smile play Edward's voice, however.

"Goodnight, Bella." Darkness swirled behind my heavy eyelids, and I fell asleep almost immediately. I had a strange dream that night.

It was dark, with glittering lights around me, as if I'd become a part of the night sky. "Dawn, are you here?" I felt strange just calling her out, but I wasn't sure what else to do to summon her.  
It was as if my voice had unlocked a door to Dawn, simply in the back of my mind. I couldn't see her in the darkness of my dreams, but her voice was as clear as crystal, as if she were speaking right beside my ear.  
"Yes, Vorone, I am. How may I help you?"  
"I need help Dawn, I don't know what to do." I felt sad, and for the first time, helpless.  
"I didn't send you the dream yet." She said with a gentle, and sympathetic laugh. "I was just about to mix the potions for you."  
"Is that how dreams work? You send dreams over in...Potions?"

"Have you ever read Roald Dahl's book, the BFG? About the giant who grants dreams for children?" I shook my head. I didn't waste time reading books for children. "Well, you see, every Guardian Angel is in charge of the dreams for one person. Dreams are the only way we, Guardians can contact the living. However, you are changed now, no longer an ordinary mortal. The dreams I'm sending you will be foresights to warn you, so you will know what to expect when you defeat fate." I felt dumbstruck. It was overwhelming to process that dreams, which I had believed was a strange coincidence, had been carefully planned by someone we didn't know existed.  
"Nothing happens by chance, Vorone."

With that, my mind clouded a hazy color, of clouds before sunset, and I sank into a confusing dream.

In the dream, everything was dark... I heard soft beeping of cars, and wind. Suddenly, the peaceful noises stopped, when I heard a loud screeching sound of tires squealing against the road. And then, a little girl's terrified scream filled my head. I jolted awake, drenched in sweat, the little girl's scream still reverberated in my ears. I looked sleepily to the bay windows, and saw soft light spreading from the tip of the mountains, and a piece of the grey shadow left over from night slowly dissapears. It was ironically, dawn.

Suddenly frightened for some reason I didn't know, I turned towaras where Edward had slept, on the couch. I saw his sleeping figure and relaxed. I wasn't sure how long I sat there, listening to his breathing, and trying to slow my own pants along with it. By the time my breathing had evened out, the morning light was already flooding into the room. I felt calm, however, a small piece of me still wanted to shake and cry at the sound of the silent scream in my head. Her voice echoed ceaselessly in my head.

"Nothing happens by chance, Vorone." I looked towards Edward, suddenly very afraid for him. She was right. Nothing happened by chance.


	13. From the Windows They were Watching

-Edward POV-

"Would you like me to carry you?" I offered. Bella looked so weary, she could collapse at any second.  
"No, thank you." She mumbled. Nevertheless I stood behind her (just in case) as stumbled her way to the bed, and when she made it, she sighed and closed her eyes.  
"You've never slept on a bed before?" I'd asked softly. My mind conjured woeful images of her thin body, shivering on thin sheets, attempting to achieve warmth. Her answer was not a surprise, and it made me feel heavy-hearted.  
"Nope." She mumbled, her cheeks lifted in a euphoric smile. I felt sad for her as I bid her goodnight. I realized... Whatever Bella had gone through... It didn't matter to me. I would do anything for her happiness, so that she'd never have to starve or freeze again. That was when darkness cloaked me, I fell under.

-Bella POV-

I had woken by force of habit, at dawn. I stared at the white ceiling in alarm, wondering where I was, until it came back to me. I was with Edward; I was safe. A sigh of relief escaped my lips. I sat up to see Edward sprawled on the couch, with his eyes closed; his chest rose and fell with every soft breath he took.

It was nice, watching him sleep. I lay on my stomach with my face in my hands, just watching him breathe. Edward slept on his back with his hands locked casually behind his head. With his supple lips parted, he almost looked as young as Alice.

Edward woke an hour later, after sunlight had streamed through the large window to touch his face. His dark eyelashes fluttered, and he sighed as he stretched. I noted his eyes indeed looked hazel in the sunlight; hints of green and gold pooled in his eyes. They met mine.

"Bella," He appeared flustered, as if he'd forgotten my presence. He raised a hand to tame the wild mess of his hair, and I resisted a smirk.

"Good morning, Edward."

"Good morning. You didn't sleep very much last night?" He appeared concerned as he scanned my face for telltale signs of sleep deprivation, but I waved him off.

"Oh no, it's not that; I slept well. It's just that over the years on the streets, I've learned its safer to wake at dawn. It became a habit." It was true. There was a huge difference in Roevinca, between sleeping until 6:59 to 7:00. Once it was 7:00, it was light enough for people to see you; early enough for officers to patrol allyways. I had gotten beaten once, and my body wasn't going to risk that again. Even half awake, Edward's eyes softed, he looked sympathetic. I didn't like it. Edward sensed my discomfort and hastilly changed the subject.

"Would you like some breakfast?" I nodded, and he smiled playfully in return, exposing straight, white teeth. "What are you waiting for?

* * *

-Bella POV-

We walked downstairs in our pajamas to find Edwards mother already at the kitchen, stirring something on the stove and humming. The scent in the air wafted, and my mouth watered. Sausage?

"Good morning, mom." Edward leaned in to kiss his mothers cheek. She smiled at the kind gesture; I could tell she was proud of her son's manners.

"Good morning, Edward, Bella. Did you get any sleep?" She asked towards me. I nodded, and noticed Esme narrow her eyes a little towards Edward.

"We _slept_ well." He over emphasized the word, and I realized with mortification Esme was still concerned about me sleeping in his room. I blushed, and hoped no one had noticed. Esme gave Edward a small nod in approval and she turned to me again, eyes twinkling.

"I hope you like sausage and eggs," Esme slid a heaping pan of eggs into a large plate, and my mouth watered. _Sausage. _I was encouraged by Esme to eat as much as I wanted to, and that was just what I did. I smiled when I was done and gratefully murmured my thanks. Esme waved me off, saying it was no trouble. _I'd never understand American's kindness... Wasn't there a catch?_

The rich food was delicious, however, it didn't agree with my stomach. I felt a little queasy, and remnants of the girl's scream bouncing in my head did not help the feeling. It didn't get recede as Edward asked if we could talk; it was known universally that no one wanted to hear these words.

Edward and I sat on his bed as he spoke of small, unimportant matters, like school, or the sky, as if to ease me into speaking. _To coax me into a trap._ The Vorone's-rational side of my brain told me. The Bella in my head, on the other hand, thought... Although I know what you're doing, my mind couldn't help but relax at the hushed tones of his voice...  
"You never did tell me what happened." Edward finally mused.  
"What happened...?" I prompted, and looked over at him.  
"When you..." He swallowed hard; Adam's apple bobbing. He suddenly seemed just as uncomfortable as I was; how awkward. "When you died, yesterday."  
"Oh," I looked down at my hands in my lap. My head reeled back to after PE, yesterday. It felt as if years had passed since then, it was hard to believe that all of this was less than twenty-four hours ago. I struggled to remember.  
"I... I saw my..." I bit my lip as I search for the right word. "...Friend." That wasn't a lie. "Her name is Dawn." Edward raised an eyebrow. "She passed on a few years ago." Edward's eyebrows rose in sympathy, and I shook my head. _Don't you understand?_ _I don't want your sympathy. _I continued.  
"She told me that..." I hesitated to tell him the secret. _What if he despised me? _Strangely, I hated that thought.  
"You don't have to tell me." He murmured quickly. I was glad Esme had raised him not to pry. I was so ready to get out of the room.  
"I'll, uh, tell you another time then." I stood and was about to leave the room. "Wait..." I sighed and stopped myself from running away. _That was all I ever did in life._ Things were different now, right?

"I have to tell you." I took a deep breath, then let it go, but my hands were still shaking. "My life was a trade. In exchange for my revival, I have to save a life by changing Fate. The thing is, Dawn knows who the target of Fate is, but she's not telling me." Edward's response was almost child-like, how serious he was.  
"Why can't she tell you?"  
"Guardians are only allowed to contact us through dreams. Apparently it's too risky. They could be _seen_." Sensing the seriousness of the topic, Edward's voice dropped to a whisper.  
"Be seen by who?"  
"Fates." I murmured, a shiver trembled down my spine. Edward cocked his head. "They're the guardians of the underworld," I explained. "Fates work to undo everything that the Guardians have created. Love, passion... Life." He nodded.

"Someone's life is going to end, and all I know is that there's a little girl targeted." My head spun, I felt nauseated again. "I don't know what to do..." I moaned, burying my face in a pillow. I felt so overwhelmed.

"I'll help you." He smiled reassuringly, a polite gesture, but it meant very little to me. He wasn't mutated, he wouldn't stand a chance against even a single Fate. _You stay, you sink._ I thought bitterly.  
"Thanks," I murmured anyways; it was much better to lie than to be rude. The rest of the day was spent in the lush, green yard with Claire. She played tirelessly with a frisbee, fetching the disk and running after it like a puppy dog. I wondered again about the childhood I may have been able to possess, had I not been sold into slavery so many years ago. Slavery killed the childhood innocence that begged to stay embedded in your soul a bit longer. Slavery had killed _me_.

The sun went down quickly, in the autumn season, and after dinner and a quick shower, Edward and I both hit the sack, _completely_ unaware of what was yet to come.

* * *

-Bella POV-

"Dawn?" I called out, searching desperately for her voice in the darkness.  
"Vorone." She paused. "Would you like to be called Bella, now?" I had nodded in the darkness.

"Yes, please." I paused. "Why were the dreams all dark last night?"  
"What?" Dawn sounded upset. She had sighed. "The dream was sent, but the fates must have gotten to it first. I'm sorry, I'll try to be more discreet when I send these, so the fates don't shadow them again." I pictured a slight pout in Dawn's lower lip as she spoke. "I'll try again."

Pleasant clouds fogged my vision momentarily, then faded away. I reluctantly watched Dawn's dream for me, although I wanted to cover my eyes and run away, back into the colorful clouds that had sent this dream.

This time, I was still unable to see; everything was shadowed. What I could see were barely shapes and shadows. Even those were clouded though, as if someone had dimmed the lights.

I was falling asleep again. I hung over the cliff of conciousness, but I gave up eventually, lapsing into the depths of past and nightmares. This nightmare was black. I couldn't see anything. Then I heard the sound of sqealing tires, and a huge crash of a metal. I couldn't understand this dream. What was it trying to tell me?

"NO! MOM, DAD, LOOK OUT!" I heard a child's voice cry out. Then the girl's scream came, high-pitched and wailing. It reverberated through my head, and bounced against my skull. Her voice was so familiar, I knew this girl. _Who was it?_ My thoughts were abruptly interupted when I heard sirens, and a low voice crackling in a walkie-talkie. I struggled to hear what he was saying between the static.

"Yes. We have a car crash with three dead bodies in it, and one more on the side. The family is yet to be identified, however, we have identified the daughter as..." The sounds all of a sudden muted, all I could hear was a high-pitched frequency. I wanted to cover my ears, but I couldn't seem to find my hands. Images slowly faded in, of a crushed white van, and a black mustang that had been cripppled in the front-surely this was the person who had caused the accident.

A strange person had had walked out of the black mustang, completely unscathed. No, this person did not walk out. She had walked... Through. I knew instantly that she was not mortal; it had walked through the van as if it were a ghost. The high-pitched frequency continued growing louder and louder as she staggered closer, and closer, drunkenly. When I looked closely, the woman's face was shifting. Her pale skin suddenly sprouted short, bristled furs that covered her entire body, and talons grew where her hands should have been.

Her long, fire-colored hair fell out of her scalp in large patches, and short fur had replaced it. Black, mottled wings spread out from her back, and her posture was lowered to a crouch on the ground. Her clothing had ripped to shreds. This creature looked like gargoyles I had seen perched atop gates of the wealthy; haunting and cryptic. Suddenly, it's red eyes flashed to mine, and it bleared a screech that immediately made me want to cover my ears.

But the sound of the screech was wrong. It shrieked the girls scream, as if it had taken her life. I paused. _It did take her life,_ I realized. _It took her life a__nd her scream with him._

_Fourteen days, Bella..._ Dawn's voiced chimed in my head like a tolling bell.  
I woke gasping, my poor, overworked heart fluttered in my chest. As I caught my breath, I heard a scratching sound against the window. I closed my eyes, feeling a headache coming on, from the frequency that still rang in my ears.  
_Stop it, Bella, it's just the tree..._ I tried to disregard it, until my eyes snapped open in realization.  
Edward's yard didn't have a tree.  
Someone... Or something was trying to break in.

* * *

-Edward POV-

I heard tapping at the windows. It woke me up, I bolted up out of the thin sheets and leapt off of the couch. The only thought in my head rang ceaselessly. _I had to wake Bella._ I leapt onto my bed, with my knees astride her hips as I was about to shake her awake. She was already wide awake.

She saw the urgency in my eyes, and her hands balled into fists; a fighting position.

"No!" I hissed. "They're after you, and I need you to run! At least hide, _now!"_ I demanded.

"I'm _not_ letting you fight for me. If they're after me, let them come after me." She said through a snarl in her lips.

_"Bella,"_ I started, but it was too late. The Fate already got through the locks on the window, and with a bang, it burst into the room.

* * *

-Bella POV-

"Bella! Stay back!" Edward shouted, as he rolled over to the bedside table, retrieving a knife I didn't even know he had hidden. He approached the Fate with the knife in his hand, and I swallowed, suddenly scared for him. The fate was at least eight feet tall. That was at least two heads taller than Edward was. The Fate eyed him gleefully through blood-red eyes, then it's vision flickered to me. It's eyes narrowed. Incomprehensible gibberish tumbled from its mouth, but somehow I could understand it.

_"You're my target."_

"Don't you _dare_ touch her!" Edward snarled, and leapt onto the fate's back, choking it from behind. The Fate didn't seem to need air, though, and it was seemingly unaffected as it ran on all fours to me. I stared at the crimson eyes that challenged mine as I allowed my body to change into its invisible shield.

The hot metallic feeling crept up into the space between my muscles and bones, as it settled there to create invisible armor. From the corner of my eye, I could see the faint purple glow emanating from my veins. My teeth shifted its alignment, and suddenly my canines especially, didn't fit my mouth anymore. My jaw made cracking sounds as it made room for my expanding teeth.

"You want to fight?" I snarled. My voice surprised me, raspy and altered from my throat. No answer, obviously. I growled,_ "Fight me."_ It sounded distorted through my wolf-like teeth. As it lunged toward me, I dodged it at the last moment, leaving the fate to crash into the footboard of the bed. Wooden flew into the air, and I used the moment to create a battle strategy. _Take it from behind..._ I thought. The Fate's eyes flickered to mine, and I already knew. It had read the thought from my mind. I couldn't process the speed of the Fate as it pinned me between the floor, and its shriveled body. Its hot breath stank of something rotten, and I stiffened, kicking the fate between the stomach. I was hoping to dislodge myself from beneath it's body, but instead, it remained still as stone and raised up its clawed talon towards my chest. I squeezed my eyes closed as I flinched.

A sudden, animalistic squeal sounded, and I opened my eyes, gasped. The fate faltered, and collapsed to its side. Black fluid oozed from the deep wound in it's ribcage and spilled on the carpet. The black noxious liquid bubbled, thick as blood. I saw Edward, breathing heavily, with the knife still clenched in his body recognized the sudden feeling of relief, and slowly morphed back into my normal human form. My jaw cracked a few times, and I rubbed it; still feeling sore. I turned to Edward.

"Thank you," I muttered, still upset that he had to defend me. He nodded shakily.

"Bella? What _the hell_ was that? I mean-was that-" Edward seemed to be lost for words.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, shaking my head to myself.

I couldnt answer his question but I knew one thing for certain. If I was a morphed being, and I was unable to protect myself from one fate, the chances of protecting the screaming girl from my dreams was slim. _I wish to be stronger._ I prayed to myself silently. I stopped myself, midsentence. "I will be stronger." I vowed.

"Bella," Edward called. I turned to him, his eyes were hardened with fear. "How did it know you were here?" My blood chilled as the only explantion left my lips, faster then I could comprehend it.

"They were watching..." I whispered, with a shudder.

**Thanks for reading guys! I hope you liked this chapter, and a HUGE THANK YOU goes out to my fellow troopers, passionate-4-love and ESPECIALLY COOLGLE! YOU ARE FANTASTIC, I can't tell you how much I appreciate reviews, especially from fans like you. I'll be finishing the next chapter shortly, and I shall keep you posted. Have a good night, guys!**

**Sincerely, **

**Your Squid.**


	14. Subtle, yet sweet Alice

**Some Q and A for ol' faithful Coolgle. Since you wanted some questions answered, your wish is my command!**

**Q: Is the woman Victoria?**

**A: Looks like we'll have to see! I promise to reveal within 3 chapters!**

**Q: Is she [Bella] part werewolf? Why would she ****have teeth like that?**

**A: I promise, Bella is not part werewolf! Sorry, I don't think I was specific enough to mention that there are no werewolves in this one AU... Sorry guys. Nothing personal to the Wolf fans; they're pretty cool. Bella is actually a... I'll leave this for you to find out :)**

**Q: If Bella was sold into slavery how did she escape and ****become a thief?**

**A: Bella escaped slavery when she was 13, and lived on the streets. However, she learned the hard way, that you have to eat. Within 4 years, she became a master of disguises, and of stealing. Mostly food. Sometimes drugs to sell for money.**

**C: Without freaking out, [Edward] must have a mind of steel.**

**A: You bet he does! ;D**

Edward stared at me blankly.

"The windows? These... Creatures watched you from the window?" He struggled to say fates. I think there was still a small part of him that didn't want to believe this was happening. I knew there was a piece in me that didn't want to, either. "Why do they want you so badly? What is it that they want?" I drew in a shaky breath, a habit that formed when I told the truth.

"It wants to kill. And I'm the only one who can stop that; they want to destroy me."

"Where did these godforsaken creatures come from anyways?" My answer surprised me-I'd never been told this, but I somehow knew. It was as if the answers were buried within me, the same way I'd understood the fates' strange tongue; it scared me.

"They live in the underworld." I heard myself say. "The lower half of the earths crust. Guardians live higher up." Edward sighed and ran his hand through his sleep-disheveled hair. He looks exhausted, but I can't blame him.

"Go to bed, Edward. Were safe now." He shook his head, about to protest, but I cut him off.

"If I sense anything is wrong, I will personally wake you up." i held his gaze until he nodded. "Alright. Goodnight, Bella."

"Night," I muttered, too aprehensive to add the word 'good' to it.

When my eyes closed into darkness, I yelled into the darkness for Dawn, I felt her presence.

"Dawn... What the hell am I?" I demanded.

"Well," Her voice started gently, but I cut her off angrily.

"You said that I would undergo a 'slight mutation', but a Fate broke in, and I suddenly had teeth-fangs! What the hell happened to me?" When I heard nothing but silence, I hissed in frustration, "Dawn, I deserve an answer!"

"Bella, you are a Vampira." I couldn't speak, my blood congealed in my chest.

"A what?" I asked weakly, suddenly feeling sick to my stomach. What had I signed up for? Why didn't I just die when I had the chance?

"It derives from the latin word, Desomodus vampirus. Vampira for short. You are a female hybrid between a human and a vampire."

"That burning I felt during the mutation..." I whispered, mostly to myself.

"That was part of the process that turned you."

"That was why my teeth were altered," I breathed. A new fear suddenly dawned upon me. "What about Edward?" I cried, suddenly worried for him.

"Unless you are in your Vampire state, you will not crave the need to feed off of him."

"Feed?" I asked weakly. "Do I have to live on blood?"

"No, but it would certainly make you stronger."

"Dawn..." I wanted to be upset with her, but I couldn't. A new fear settled on me instead.

What if, by being a vampire-vampira-(whatever,) I hurt those I cared for most? Flashes of Edward, Esme, Claire and Alice's faces appeared in my mind. The hazy clouds of sunset appeared for just a moment, then dissipated, into darkness.

In that darkness, I heard the same scream, but then a flash of random letters and numbers appeared in my mind. NCZ-183. A static radio sound came on.

"This is Owen to Wichita, do you copy? There's been a motor vehicle accident. There are five bodies, one breathing. The family is yet to be identified, but the location is-" the dream had ended abruptly again, like a wire had been cut; it all disappeared.

Dawns voice chimed, like a tolling bell.

"Nine days left, Bella."

I bolted awake again, and gasped in the darkness. I pressed the heels of my hands to my eyes, when i realized that it was just a dream; her scream continued echoing ceaselessly off of my skull. I felt my way in the darkness to Edward's desk, and grabbed a spare sheet of paper and a pencil. NCZ-183. My eyes were fixated on the numbers in the dim light, every possibility ran through my mind.

Perhaps the numbers and letters were for a combination lock... Someone's street address... A code...

I was so engrossed that i hadn't heard the movement behind me, and I felt a hand grip shoulder. My lips lifted in a snarl and I whirled around to grab the figure in the darkness. My fist was raised to the air, ready to pound the intruder in, but a familiar voice startled me.

"Bella, it's just me." I squinted my eyes in the darkness. Edward defensively held his empty hands up in the air and I exhaled a breath I didn't know I had been holding in. His eyes, only half awake, found mine in the darkness. The moonlight streaming through the window made his eyes appear a muted hazel color. I awkwardly released the front of his shirt, and smoothed the ferocity from my face. "I'm sorry if I had startled you," he added apologetically. "Is everything alright?" I didn't answer him, just kept staring at the paper.

Edward's soft footsteps padded across the carpet, and the lamp flickered on. I squinted my eyes, they didn't react well to the change in light.

"What are you working on?" Edward asked, peering over my shoulder.

"Nothing... Well," I bit my lip, i hesitated to tell him. "I saw this in my dream. Do you know what this stands for? Is it a combination for a lock?" Edward brought the paper up to his face. He had analyzed it for only a moment before nodding and handing it back to me.

"Bella, this is the license plate to the family van." He saw the dread creep into my eyes, and concern immediately lined his face. "Bella," He put a hand on my shoulder. "what's wrong?" I tried to speak, but I couldn't find my voice. Finally, I managed to whisper the truth that stirred the trepidation buried in my stomach.

"The fates are after your family, Edward."

Edward blankly stood there, his eyes glazed over as he lived in his own thoughts. His face grew paler and paler, until he was as white as a snow blizzard. He appeared catatonic.

"Edward?" He raised a hand to silence me. He sounded shaky.

"Can we go downstairs and talk about this... Rationally?" I nodded my compliance, and followed him down stairs.

Edward headed straight for the kitchen, and I leaned against the door way, watching him fill a kettle with water. He placed the kettle onto the stove, and pulled a small box out from the pantry. Earl grey. "You're making tea?" I asked with a tiny hint of amusement in my smirk. He weakly smiled back at me.

"It's the universal comfort drink."

Edward pulled the kettle off of the stove, and poured the tea into dainty, white tea cups. I had no doubt in my mind that they were Esme's and were expensive but Edward paid them no attention. He placed the tea onto a tray and motioned for me to follow him into the study. We sat on either side of the leather couch between the bookshelves, respectively holding our own cups of tea.

I caught his eyes lingering on the shiny scars on my forearms for a moment, and I immediately crossed my arms, uncomfortable with the attention.

"So... I know this will probably be uncomfortable for the both of us, but... What exactly have you been seeing in your nightmares? Foresights?" Edward corrected himself after seeing my glare.

"Well..." I held the warm cup in my hands and stared into the clear amber liquid. I saw my own reflection, and it frightened me; I barely recognized the eyes that looked back at me like, what as the expression? A deer caught in headlights.

"I haven't actually seen anything but the license plate." I confessed. "By the sounds I've been hearing though, I assume there has been an automobile accident." I keep my tone quiet and respectful, like a doctor telling a patient dreaded news. Is this how Carlisle felt everyday he had to break the truth to someone?

"What else do you hear?" Edward asks, although he looks as if he was torn between hearing oblivion against harsh reality. I admire him for the courage to ask and I want to comfort him, but I feel frightened to try touch him. What if he touches me back? What would I do then?

"I hear a little girl, screaming." I said softly.

"A girl?" He whispers. I nod and take a sip at my tea. Its warmth seemed to radiate throughout my body; I was so thankful for that.

"Yes." I saw Edward swallow hard although there wasn't any tea in his mouth.

"Alice, or Claire?" He whispers. It was as if his mind had read the question off of my own.

"I don't know... I mean, I'm not sure, but... I think, Alice."

Worry marred his face; his smooth skin appeared ashen even in the moonlight.

"Bella... Do you think it's possible that Alice..." He paused for a moment, to choose his words carefully. "Could be the fates next target?" I nibbled on my lip. Could he be right? "It's possible..." I murmured. Edward sighed, he looked tired, as if he had aged a decade in a moment. It scared me to see his youth fleet from his eyes like that. "Alice may not live long, is what you're saying?"I nodded. I felt a thick lump in my throat when I realized we'd both been avoiding the word death for too long.

"I'm sorry Edward. But I will do everything in my power to protect her." I never knew that this was going to be my second lie to Edward. He clutched his tea cup in his hands, probably for the warmth, then slowly raised it to his lips. I watched him carefully swallow his tea, before I whispered shamefully,

"Will you hate me?" i asked softly. He shook his head without hesitation. His sleepy eyes reflected warmth, which made me feel even guiltier. He trusted me. Yet he knew nothing about me.

"I couldn't hate you, Bella." He murmured. I nodded in relief and then I stifled a yawn. Soon, so did he. Edward chuckled warily.

"Your yawn was contagious." I nodded, then, I put my tea cup aside.

"Its five in the morning." I said to Edward. "Do you think we could sleep here tonight?" He nodded and pulled a blanket to cover us. Although we slept on the same couch, I did not want to touch him, I was scared of it. He must've sensed it, since he slept apart from me. We had our respective sides now.

"Goodnight, Bella."

"Night, Edward."

I lay awake, listening to Edward's slow breaths for the longest time. It was dawn when I finally closed my eyes to sleep, and just a few short hours later, as I finally sunk into merciful darkness, I heard Edward breathe,

"Bella? Are you awake?" I groaned and mumbled to Edward, "Go away,"

"Bella, you've been in bed for a while. Are you sick?" He felt my forehead with a cool hand as I rolled over.

"I'm not sick." I protested, throwing his hand off of my flushed face. He pursed his lips, contemplating my reaction with crossed arms. The stance reminded me of Esme for some reason.

"Would you like breakfast?"

"I'm not hungry."

"Bella." He sat on the side of the couch. "I know what we saw last night was horrible," I glared at him.

"Horrible is an understatement." I growled. He ignored me.

"But we have to keep our strength up, especially you." I ignored him this time, and was about to close my eyes again, ready to shut out the world just as Edward spoke.

"Please promise me you'll at least go downstairs to eat something?" His velvet tone persuaded me instantly and I nodded against my own will. _What was I doing? I _never_ promised anyone anything_. I thought I heard a smile in Edwards voice.

"Excellent. Well, I have chores to do. Call me if you need me."

I trudged to the kitchen. Esme stood beside the refrigerator, looking like a goddess even in a pink apron. I immediately straightened my posture as Esme greeted me. She smiled. It looked very natural, but despite her best efforts, I knew she was trying her best to appear happy for my sake; I looked exhausted, physically and emotionally drained over the Fate that had broken in last night.

"Good morning, Bella." Esme chirped.

"Good morning." I managed a watery smile.

"Would you like some peaches?" My mouth watered instantly, I nodded feverishly. Peaches were my favorite food, I remembered vaguely. Esme set a bowl of sliced peaches down before tending to Claire, who sat in her high chair. I carefully bit into one, and I closed my eyes. I knew this taste.

My thoughts went back, so far back to when I was a slave.

Salvery was all I knew in life. Working in the salt mill was the point and highlight of my monotonous existence. The repulsive stench of salt burned my nose already, even in a memory, but I found it strangely nostalgic.

_I was five now, sitting in the back corner of Dawn's familiar office. I had been watching an old American television show, Dexters Laboratory on a small tv with antennaes on them. I vaguely understood this foreign language now. Dawn spoke to me more often in English, rather than Roevincan; she had noticed my improvement grow day after day._

_Dawn helped me everyday Sir was out, tutoring English in the privacy of her office._

_"Sorry," She enunciated perfectly. Mine came out, a weak and pathetic "Sōrrē."_

_"No, make your o sound a little shorter, and remember there's-"_

_"-no need to roll your rs in English." I finished for her in English. A smile stretched instantly across her face._

_She chuckled. "Very good. Now, say it with me-'sorry,'"_ I snapped out of it, staring at the bowl of peaches.

"Bella, you look pale." Alice was in the room; I had been so engaged, I hadn't noticed her presence in the room. "Are you okay?" I nodded warily.

"Yeah. Thanks Alice." She pursed her lips; she knew something was wrong, I prayed she wouldn't ask what the source of my headache was. I wouldn't know what to tell her.

"You know, aspirin helps with headaches." She mused. "Would you like one?" She offered with a friendly smile. I thought about her offer; how had she known I had a headache? "That'd be really nice." I said weakly. She nodded.

"Ill be right back." True to her word, she returned moments later with a tiny white tablet. This puny tablet was going to make a pounding headache go away? I was suddenly skeptical; was this a drug?

"It's safe, I promise." Alice said. Her hazel eyes were too honest, she wasn't lying. _Besides,_ I rationed with myself. _Alice isn't like the type to be on drugs._ I popped the pill in my mouth and chased it down with water.

"Thank you, Alice." I sighed. She smiled, her cheekbones were rosy. Lovely.

"Just wait a few minutes or so. It'll start to kick in, you'll feel much better." I could only hope.

"Thanks." I called after her. I walked over to the study, where Edward and I had stayed last night. I was glad to have spoken the truth. Talking to Edward made me feel as if a weight was relieved from my chest...

I lay on the couch and closed my eyes. I didn't allow sleep to take me; I didn't want the horror of reality to strike me; instead, I daydreamed. I opened my eyes when I felt movement. "Edward?" He hovered over me, a blanket was spread atop my body, his face was just inches away from mine.

"Sorry, Bella." He moved away sheepishly. "I didn't mean to wake you." I shook my head sleepily. "It's fine."

"I've actually been looking for you. Alice told me you had a headache. Are you alright?"

i nodded. "I'm fine. I took aspirin." He nodded and I stood.

"That reminds me, I should thank Alice."

I walked upstairs and noticed my headache was gone... _American medicine is fantastic._ I opened a white door with an orange A painted on it. Alice squealed upon my entry, and I muttered.

"Sorry, I should have knocked." She bobbed her tiny head in a nod, and I changed the subject lightly. "What were you writing?"

"I write in a diary." She said, visibly calmer now.

"A diary?" I asked. I wasn't very fond of those... Alice nodded and waved hers in the air. It was purple with fuzz on it.

"I don't usually offer, but would you like to see mine?" I thought about it, then nodded.

"Yes, please."

Alice sat me on a periwinkle bean bag, just beside her bed. It smelled of candy, but the sinking feeling reminded me of Dawn's; I loved it.

"See. My diary." Alice held an open page to me, and I scrutinized it. It was filled with cursive scribbles and small drawings.

"I like that one," I said, pointing to her scribble of a rose. It was sketchy but unique, like Alice. She gazed at it with distant eyes, her expression was thoughtful.

"Edward does them better. He's an artist, did you know that?" I shook my head, amazed.

"An artist, really?" I asked in awe. Alice nodded, her eyes were wide with excitement. "His drawings look so real. They look as if they could come to life, right off of the paper." Her voice held so much respect, and pride. Something I hadn't noticed before; she really adored her brother.

"You really admire Edward, don't you?" She shrugged, but we both knew it was a lie.

"I know I cause Edward trouble. Sometimes even more than Claire does-shes three, on top of that-but... all I want is for him to be proud of me." I shook my head, with a benign smile.

"He already is." I said softly, sure of my answer. A timid smile and a rosy blush appeared on her face and I looked away, brought my attention back to her diary. "What is that?" I asked, pointing to a scribbled heart. "Are those initials?"

"Yeah. JB. It's for Jimmy Blake. I like him. A lot." I smiled, _how exciting, Alice's first crush._

"You should talk to him. Ask him out on a date. I bet Edward would let you." She blushed red and tossed her diary into a canvas school bag. "Maybe. Um, Bella? Could you not tell anyone about my diary, please?" She asked shyly. I nodded.

"You have my word." She nodded wistfully and just before I left her room, she called out,

"It's always nice talking to you, Bella." She sounded shy, but polite. I couldn't help the small small that rose on my lips.

"I could say the same about you."

* * *

When night came, the same flurry of sounds scarred my mind once more; I wondered if anything in my mind had been spared from this nightmare at all.

I bolted up in the moonlight and I did something I hadn't done in a while. I got out of the bed and knelt on my knees. My clasped hands rested on the bed, I closed my eyes. I didn't even believe in a God before. Now, I was desperate.

"God..." I whispered. "Please... Dont take Alice. She's too young... Please, don't take her." I had crawled back into my bed, but didn't dare shut my eyes.

**Sorry guys, that was a pretty slow chapter, even for me. I'll revise this when I can, stay tuned!**

**Your squid.**


	15. Edward's Nightmares

**Hey readers! I'm gonna focus this chapter on the inner fears of Edward and Bella; I promise I'll make this one good :)**

**Quick Q-**

**Q: Are the volturi in this AU?**

**A: Sorry, so far, I don't see how the Volturi could fit into this one, but maybe I can make it work? **

**Without further due, enjoy!**

Edward POV

* * *

My dreams sunk into darkness again, and I was in the same dark room. Lightning flashed, and I realized that this dream was going to be the same as always, with a darker, morose Bella in it. And it was. I approached Bella from behind, but I was able to move a little faster. I moved fast enough to see what she was doing before she noticed me. Her hands, (though they were handcuffed,) was meticulously cleaning a knife, stained with the same blood on her satin dress.

She dropped the knife onto the couch, and her head whipped again to see me.

Because it was the second time seeing this dream, I noted the alluring way her hair fanned around her as she turned her head. And there it was again, her taped mouth and her sullen, yet deadly eyes glaring at me. As my hand stretched out towards, her, this time, I was fast enough to touch her face. Just for a moment though, until she ran away, with the same grace as last time. When I looked to the hand that had touched her face, my fingers were stained with blood.

"Stay away from me!" She cried out, shattering the muted silence. I followed her anyways, until the blood that was knee-deep moments ago suddenly filled the room at an alarming rate. The blood came up to my stomach when I finally reached her. Her delicate hand touched mine with an alluring gentleness and she pulled me to wade deeper in the blood with her. I choked on mouthfuls of hot, metallic blood, unable to breathe. Her eyes continued staring at me, a contrast of dark brown glinting against red until the blood rose over our heads. Despite the blood flooding my ears, I could still hear her.

"I told you to stay away from me. You stay, you sink." She sang as I choked on mouthfuls of blood. The last thing I saw was the dark red stinging my eyes.

"You stay, you sink."

I gasped, choking on the blood that I thought was in my mouth only moments ago. I looked around as I drew in deep breaths. I was in my room, and Bella was sound asleep in my bed, her face peaceful in sleep's oblivion. I was safe. _It was just a dream. An incredibly vivid, lucid dream._

I scrubbed my face with my hands, and found droplets of sweat running down my temples. I wiped my hand against my shirt in disgust; I couldn't go back to sleep now.

I needed a shower. A cold, refreshing shower was what I needed.

I quietly rose from my bed, and padded over to the bathroom. I closed the door quietly, with the utmost care as not to wake Bella.

I stripped out of my clothing, which stuck to my skin, damp with sweat. Only after I turned the shower on, and let the cold streams of water hit my back, was when I could relax, and rationally comprehend what I had seen in my dreams.

Perhaps I was just stressed; senior-itis? I tried to reason with myself different, innocent thoughts of why I could be seeing blood and darkness in my dreams, but they all came back to the same thing. Bella.

_Bella, what on earth are you hiding from me? From everyone?_

Flashes of Bella appeared in my mind; her emaciated body, her bandaged fingertips, her smiling face, her irises that appeared amber in the sunlight, her eyes that darkened when tears welled in her eyes, her peaceful expression in sleep. I sighed. This shower wasn't helping me, at all.

I turned off the water and wrapped myself in a towel. I absent-mindedly washed my face in the sink with icy water and leaned my elbows on the counter, pondering. When I looked up, I noticed that the mirror had fogged from my shower. I wiped the steam off with my forearm.

There. It was clear again. _If only my mind could wipe clean as easily... _I thought bitterly.

I stared into the mirror, at my reflection. I felt disgusted by the almond brown eyes that looked back at me; they looked so much like my mothers. My eyes roamed down my face, at the cheekbones that was a reincarnation of hers, the full lips that reminded me of her shrill, falsetto laugh. Everything about my face reminded me that she was still (regretfully) a part of me, everyday. My eyes narrowed at the thought and glared back at me in the mirror. I felt so disgusted, so angry, I wanted to smash the damn mirror so I'd never have to see my reflection again. I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose between my thumb and forefinger.

_If only it were that easy._

I would never admit it to Emmett or even Jasper, but surface beauty is something that I could not care less about. It was so decieving, anyways. Look at Victoria-(I didn't have the heart to call her 'mother')-with her waves of flaming hair that cascaded down her back, and her red lips. You would think she was beautiful. Yet she was the same as the rest. Just a dirty, betraying, fucking whore in the end, who wanted nothing but money and sex. Never trust a beautiful girl. Since the day I ran from home in terror, as a child, I vowed to never be attracted to a woman who seemed beautiful. It wasnt worth it. I was hardly ever interested in women, anyways. Not even in puberty, when the single concern of the males in the class was of masturbating. It concerned Emmett and Jasper to the point of where they had questioned my sexuality. Never was I interested.

Until now, anyways.

I returned to the darkness of my familiar bedroom, but felt like a stranger. I listened to Bella's soft breaths, the rain pattering outside, my heart hammering in my chest. I sighed. _What was I going to do? What if Bella was a liar, too?_ I paused, then shrugged it off. Bella trusted me. What kind of person would i be, if I didn't trust Bella, in return? Feeling the need for an escape, I hurriedly sat at my desk and quickly withdrew my sketch pad and coloring pencils. I hunched over, pencils in hand, to clear my mind; to free the doubts that were shackled into my mind.

* * *

-Bella POV-

Darkness. Screams. Glass shattering. Policemen talking on the radio. I heard the same, disturbing flurry of sounds again in my sleep, and I woke gasping, only to find the lights on, and Edward at his desk, pencil in his hand. His eyes flashed to the sudden movement, and they were suddenly on mine.

"Bella? Are you alright..?" The light from the lamp made his eyes appear a warm hazel. Maybe even green? Edward put the pencil aside to overlook me. Concern etched the space between his eyebrows, and he left his seat at the desk, to return with a glass of water from the bathroom, which he offered to me. I accepted it with a shaking hand, and gulped the water down with my eyes closed. I concentrated on the icy water, and tried to force the screams out of my head and my heart rate to slow down. When I drained the cup, I opened my eyes. Edward eyes were on me, and he held same look of burden in his eyes.

"You're trembling," he whispered. Unsure of how to respond, I quietly thanked Edward for the water and put the glass aside. I couldn't bring myself to look Edward in the eyes, although I felt his gaze on me. After a while of quiet, I finally caught my breath and felt my eyelids growing heavy again.

"I'll be right here." Edward murmured comfortingly, from his seat on the desk. "Go back to sleep."

"I can't." I said wearily, surprising myself. I found myself looking at Edward's desk, in sheer curiosity. "Can I see what you're working on? Please?" He hesitated for a moment, then pulled the paper on his desk to hand it to me. I looked at it for a moment, then my eyes widened, my breath hitched in my throat. _Alice was right, Edward was an artist._

"You're so talented." I murmured. On the paper was a sketch of a woman, possibly in her late 20's. I stared in sheer amazement at the fine detail Edward had been able to add, from the arched brows, to the glass of wine she held in the palm of her hand; the translucent red liquid. I stopped for a moment, I'd seen this woman before. Her hair was the color of flames, her skin was white as snow and her sculpted features tapered down to a point at a delicate jawline. I knew this woman. Who was she?

"Oh, this is my biological mother," Edward explained after seeing my curious expression. I found myself nodding absent-mindedly, utterly mesmerized in the drawing. I pushed aside the unsettling fact that I had seen Edward's mother someplace, and focused on the art, instead. I could just drown in it.

"Do you have more like this?" I asked, gesturing to his drawing I was afraid to touch. He nodded, motioned to a manila folder on his desk. "May I?" I asked with my hand outstretched. Edward nodded, his hands folded behind his head. With a shaky hand, I opened the folder, and stared, picture after picture. They couldn't be more life-like if they were memories.

"You're an artist?" I asked, with my back towards him. I was glad he couldn't see my expression, I looked like a fish on land with my mouth gaping open. Edward shrugged humbly.

"I wouldn't say that." I scowled at his humility, before he smiled bashfully. "Jasper and Emmett me into it; you know, to practice memorizing engines visually. Then it became a little hobby." I stared at the pictures. They were beautiful-almost eerie, they seemed to come to life. I passed through angelic portraits of Esme, Claire and Alice, landscapes, people. His sketches were so raw, so honest, they held emotiontin it, somehow. Like it was magic.

His sketch of his father was my favorite. He had a very angular face, rather handsome, but not in a way that resembled Edward. His blonde hair and blue eyes were quite stunning, though, nevertheless. Movie stars would kill for his good looks.

There were many more sketches of his mother. Page after page. Did Edward think much about her, even after all of these years? _Of course! _My mind rationalized with myself._ She vowed to kill him, after all... I don't blame him for running away in horror!_ She was very beautiful... But Edward had captured a coldness in the dark eyes, they almost glinted red. I subconsciously stroked the picture with my thumb.

"You look like your mom..." I murmured, mostly to myself. I peered over at Edward who had nodded timidly, but his eyes darkened as they sunk tersely to the floor.

"Yeah." He sounded afraid, and I sensed his tension, changing the subject.

"What is that?" I pointed to the corner of a paper I saw, hidden beneath the edge of the folder and pulled it from beneath it. Edward had made a small sound of protest from the back of his throat, but it was too late; I had already seen his most beautiful masterpiece. There was a silence, as I struggled to find my words.

"Is that... Us?" I breathed. Edward nodded, his cheekbones blazed scarlet, in embarrassment. I touched his hand for his attention, and he looked at me as I enunciated my words carefully. "It's beautiful." I whispered. Beautiful couldn't cover it-beautiful was a pathetic description compared to this. It was of Edward and I sitting together on the small couch in the living room, smiling as we engaged in conversation. I remembered this-when I first came to the home with Edward, and sat with him as we spoke to Claire. I'd never wanted a material item before in my life, (let alone an artistic piece,) but suddenly, I wish I had pocket money to spare. _God, what I would give to buy this... _

_"_Bella... You keep it." Edward pushed the drawing into my hand.

"No, I couldn't." I said, shaking my head. It was too much. I could have offered him all the money in the world and it wouldn't add up to the price of this drawing. This memory.

"Take it," He insisted, with a kind smile. It looked genuine; his eyes even crinkled a little in the almond-shaped corners. "Honestly, if youre worried about the effort, I can assure you that it doesn't take a lot of time to draw-" _Liar_. It was three am, his lie was badly contradicted. "I can make another one if I like," He added when he saw my eyebrows raise. "And..." he drew in a breath and squeezed my hand back, gently. It was comforting. "I want you to have it."

"Th-thank you." I stuttered. I felt... Honored? Was that the word? To have Edward share his personal drawings with me. They contained his most private thoughts and secrets, yet, somehow, he allowed me to look at them. Me, of all people! Of course, it also sunk my hopes down again of ever confiding the whole, real truth with Edward. How could I admit my dishonesty after this? Feeling sick to my stomach, I closed my eyes and allowed my mind to wander off to the place where nightmares begin. After all, we did have school tommorow.

**People of the squid realm...**

**Thank you for your gracious patience, I know, it's been a while since I last updated, but I can assure you that I am back!**

**So the real question... What is going on here?! **

**Since you asked...**

**Edward and Bella are ironically both afraid of one thing; each other's complete trust. However, let's build this... See where we can take Edward in Bella in terms of trust.. And love. (they're not supposed to know that yet, though.) **

**Thank you again! **

**Your Squid**


	16. Apples and Peaches

"Edward?" He didn't stir. "Edward, wake up. It's Monday. Time for school." Edward moaned and threw a pillow over his face. I arched an eyebrow daringly.

"Don't make me throw a glass of water at you!" Edward opened his eyes a little and chuckled sleepily.

"What's so funny?" I demanded, hands on my hips.

"Bella, your english doesnt make sense. Do you mean, dont make me dump a glass of water over your head? Or are you going to throw the glass and the water at me, as well?" He laughed. I glared at him, threw him his slacks.

"Just get up."

* * *

Edward and I ate breakfast at the dining table, across from Alice and Claire. Alice chatted happily about her new skirt while a half-sleeping Claire sleepily pushed Cheerios into her mouth. Edward and I periodically answered Alice's random questions, and exchanged glances when Claire grumpily tossed her Cheerios into the air.

"Have a good day at school," Esme called from the kitchen. She handed us each sack lunches, and I accepted it happily. I gazed at it tenderly. Esme had affectionately written "Bella" in her traditional script, across the bag with a marker and even added a heart beneath it. _Almost as if I was her child._ Warmth threatened to bring out my emotions, and I murmured my thanks before my voice failed me.

"Do well at finals!" she said. Edward gave her a thumbs up.

"We will. Thanks mom." He bent down to kiss her cheek and then turned to Claire.

"Claire, give me a kiss goodbye," She pressed her soft, fleshy lips to his cheek in lieu of a goodbye and clapped her fleshy hands together. I chuckled. "Bye Claire!" We called put in unison. He took his keys and we drove to school.

* * *

The first class of the day was finals for English and math. Edward and I sat at our desks in the back, and whispered our respective hatred for English language. The test was hours long, and I stared at the same English question for what seemed to be the tenth time. _Who cares about William Shakespeare? Why should I know his personal anicdote, anyways? _I peered over at Edward, who had his hand in his disheveled hair, his expression reminded me of the thinker as he stared intensely at his test. His eyes met mine, and he rolled his eyes towards his test. I nodded passionately and flipped my middle finger up towards the test beneath my desk. _Hatred, American style. _I silently expressed. Edward's eyes bugged out and he nearly cracked with laughter, but after Mr. Garcia stared at Edward exasperatingly, we worked silently from then.

"God, what a long test!" Edward exclaimed after tests were turned in. He stretched his body towards the ceiling and leaned back a little before groaning. "Ugh, stiff as a board," He muttered under his breath. I nodded and stretched my arms back as well until I turned to him.

"Wait, Edward, was that a simile?" I recalled a similar expression in the test. He nodded, to which I scowled.

"Crap!"

* * *

When lunch started, Edward led me through the hallway. He wanted me to meet some of his friends. I was aware of many heads turning, making a double take as they assessed Edward and I, walking. Together. Alone. I even saw Jessica Stanely wrinkle her nose and turn to whisper to her clique.

"Ew, did you see that? What _the fuck_ is Edward doing with _her_?"

_Stupid girl, don't you know I can hear you? _I rolled my eyes, and Edward looked at me strangely.

"Is it that strange for the dark girl to be with Edward Cullen?" I asked sardonically, lifting my lips a little. He shook his head and asked simply,

"Does it work for you?" I didn't have to think about it, answered on instinct.

"Yes." He smiled crookedly.

"Me too. Isn't that what counts?" I smiled back at him, his cheerful demeanor was seriously infectious sometimes. He led me through a few more hallways, before he pulled me into a stairwell, where two other seniors sat casually. They looked intimidating and I wondered if I would have to fight them, or protect Edward. I clenched my fists, ready to pull Edward aside if they caused him trouble. However, they stood to greet Edward kindly, and I unclenched my fists sheepishly, immediately regretting my initial judgement. Edward turned to me with a crooked smile.

"Bella, I'd like you to meet my best friends. This is Jasper and Emmett." I assessed each of the tall men standing before me. Jasper, had blonde locks and a thin, lean frame. Emmett on the other hand, was his contrast, with cropped dark hair, and a huge frame. He had a wicked smile curving his lips; I could only assume he had a demeanor just as mischievous as his smile.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Bella." Jasper smiled politely. He had a slight southern twang; how appealing.

"Edward's told us a lot about you." Emmett grinned as Edward blushed red. I raised my eyebrows. I'd only been with Edward for three days, now. Was it possible that he remembered me the day I bumped into him? So well that he'd spoken about me amongst his friends? Surprisingly, the thought flattered me for a moment before I found my composure again.

"How did you meet?" I asked conversationally. Jasper and Edward looked at each other skeptically, as if wondering back to the past.

"I think through work, no?" Emmett head locked both of the boys in his biceps and they laughed before wrestling out of his hold.

"Yeah. My Sparker broke down on me and I took it to the shop. Then I was hired, and this threesome happened," Edward joked. All of the boys chortled and I couldn't help but snicker at their pathetic antics. When they had all stopped laughing, and wiped the tears from beneath their eyes, the bell had rung. Edward shook their hands, which I observed carefully._ Did all Americans do that?_

"Bella and I gotta go."

They exchanged glances while raising their eyebrows.

"Have fun, Bella, especially you Edward!" Emmett choked out before bursting out into laughter again.

"Nice to meet you, Bella!" Jasper gasped out, and I nodded.

When we were out of their earshots, I turned to Edward accusingly.

"What was that supposed to mean, Edward? The 'especially you' thing?"

"Nothing. It's just... My friends have no idea how to react when they see me with a girl." He confessed, his cheekbones burned scarlet.

"Does this happen every time?" Edward pondered for a moment, before shrugging.

"I'm not sure. This is the first time they've ever seen me with a girl."

"Liar!" I said, expecting Edward to burst out into laughter. He didn't.

"You've never been seen with a girl before?" He shook his head.

"With Alice, Claire, and my mother as an exception, I'm not particularly fond of women," He confessed grimly. "My friends are just excited for me, I suppose."

"Why did they mention, 'especially you,'?"

"They're just worried for me that this may be my last time with a girl who's not my mother. Especially with one as beautiful as you." He added sincerely, with a wistful smile. I parted my lips to speak, but I closed my mouth. I didn't know what to say. _He thought I was beautiful? What on earth was wrong with him?_

"I'm not beautiful," I managed to say.

"Bella," He raised his eyebrows. "Are you fishing for compliments, or do you sincerely not understand how beautiful you are?" I faltered as a strange warmth flooded my stomach, but I pushed it aside. I cleared my throat and changed the subject.

"What is fishing for compliments? What does it mean?"

"It means to seek flattery in a seemingly inconspicuous way that's very obvious." I cocked my head. "Need an example?" I nodded eagerly, grateful that he offered.

"Yes, please." He paused to hold open a door for me, leading outside, then continued.

"See, if you were fishing for compliments, I would continue flattering you until you feel satisfied." _Oh no, I didn't mean to ask for this..._ "For instance, I would tell you how beautiful your eyes are now, in the sunlight, or how I like it when you bite your lips when you're nervous."

"Oh." I breathed lamely. _He had noticed things like that? When? And he liked that? _Edward noticed the silence, and changed the subject first.

"We're here." Wow. Behind the school, were pine trees and greenery. There were even a few wild-flowers that surrounded the premises.

"Wow, is this still a part of the school?" I marveled. He nodded.

"Up for a picnic?" I nodded eagerly, after all, _I'd never had a picnic before._ I'd eaten outside of course, in alleyways, all alone, but I'd never shared a meal with someone in the outdoors for purely recreational purposes.

Edward opened his bag and withdrew a checkered blanket. I smiled wide, _he had planned this._

He spread the blanket onto the wet grass, and gestured for me to sit.

"Ladies first," He tried in a regal Brittish accent, his eyes twinkled with an amused smile.

"How kind of you," I tried in my best Brittish accent, which was sad to say, pathetic. Edward laughed, I scowled at him-if only he knew Roevincan was my native tongue, I didn't think he would laugh at any English I spoke. In fact, I wondered if Edward noticed my English pronunciation. _I'd been careful to be conscious of my American accent, but had it ever slipped on accident?_

"How do you think you did?" Edward asked, once he'd settled down. "You know, on the finals?" He prompted me. I exhaled a breath, with a weary smile.

"I think I did fine. English was difficult, though." _Obviously._

"I had trouble with it, too." He said sheepishly.

"Despite your 'throwing and dumping' lecture today?" I challenged. He grinned, good naturedly.

"I can only say in my defense that I'm not perfect," I sighed, rolled my eyes a bit.

"You are perfect," I muttered under my breath. He was everything I couldn't be; lively, polite, socially acceptable. Plus, he wasn't an eyesore at all. His sculpted features were probably very attractive, to someone who was interested in him. Not that I cared for him.

I allowed my eyes to roam over his features for a moment. Almond eyes, red lips, chiseled jaw line, tousled blonde hair. Not to mention his dark, delicate eyelashes that I'd heard girls whisper about in the locker-room. That had to be uncommon to look so... Heavenly? That wasn't the word... Sculpted. He looked like something only Michael Angelo could create and somehow bring to life. Edward suddenly turned and cocked his head.

"Bella? What are you looking at?" I shook my head, embarrassed that he caught me, and turned my attention back to my paper bag with the heart on it. "Let's eat."

Edward opened his bag of lunch. I noticed that on his bag, was written in large, capital letters was "EDWORD."

"Oh, Claire wanted to practice her alphabets," Edward explained to me. "You know," He mused, with an amused curve in his lips. "Aside from the backwards E and minor spelling errors, I think she's coming along quite nicely." I could only agree with him.

I finally peered at the contents of my lunch bag. A sandwich wrapped in Saran wrap, a bottle of water, and... Could it be? Did Esme really remember?

"What?" Edward asked with a smile, as he noticed the one that had appeared on my face. I brought the Tupperware out of the bag, for the whole world to see.

"Peaches!" I squealed. Edward chuckled.

"Peaches? That lumpy fruit offers that much happiness to you?"

"Yeah," I smiled, reminiscing. "Dawn always gave them to me." Edward returned a polite smile and then reached into his bag. He withdrew a red apple, which he bit into with as much enthusiasm as as I had my peach.

"Apples are your favorite?" He nodded.

"I wonder what that would taste like," he mused.

"What?"

"Apples and peaches together?" I hummed a bit.

"Would you mind?" I asked, pointing to Edwards fruit. He shook his head and replied with a friendly not at all. He tossed the apple and I snagged it from the air.

I slowly took a bite from the apple, letting my lips close over the delicate skin.

* * *

Edward POV

I tossed the apple into the air and Bella caught it, with a graceful motion and lifted the apple to her lips. I watched in anticipation as her teeth sunk into the fruit, and her lips closed around the apple. I couldn't believe that anyone could bite an apple and make it look so... Appealing. So... Sexy. I wondered how her lips might feel against mine. Would they be as soft as her whispers? Barely there? Or rougher, like the way she bit into the apple or lifted her lips in a snarl? I realized I wouldn't mind either one, as long as it was her lips. Hers on mine, and nothing else.

"Is something the matter?" Bella had asked, but I was too busy staring at the way her lips moved with her words. Fluidly, attractively.

"Edward." Bella said flatly. I looked up and realized in mortification that I had been ogling her, over an apple.

* * *

Bella POV

I noticed his eyes on me, observing every bite I took, watching my reaction.

"How does it taste?" He asked.

"It's sweet. But it still has the tangy and crunchy of the apple." I chewed twice. "It's kind of good actually."

"May I?" he asked, and I handed him the fruits. He bit into each and chewed carefully.

"Mmm," He hummed contentedly. "That is pretty good." I felt my lips curve into a smile, against my own will.

"Thank you for this," I said, gesturing to our picnic.

* * *

Edward POV

"You're welcome." I told her effortlessly. _You're more welcome than you'll ever know, Bella. _

**Alright! We're getting somewhere! Edwards officially attracted to Bella! As for Bella, she's getting there... Slowly but surely. Though she doesn't feel attracted to him like that, she finally appreciates him as a friend. (She likes him a lot, but she doesn't know that yet.) *dramatic sigh* A****LRIGHT, fellow squidies, let's start writing about LOVE! **

**Also, I'd like to thank Coolgle for always, graciously, complimenting my writing. You inspire me very much! Feel free to review if you want to, it helps a LOT! **

**Your Squid.**


	17. As we Fall

**Yes, your eyes are not deceiving you, I actually updated! :D **

**Enjoy!**

-Bella POV-

Edward and I had just returned from school. Edwards shoulders sagged in relief.

"I'm so done with finals!" He groaned. I nodded, with an expression mirroring his grim one. I had barely put my bag down, when Claire ran into the room, her tangle of blonde hair bounced with every step she took; how adorable.

"Claire-bear!" Edward exclaimed as she hugged his leg, tightly. She smiled up at him, before turning to me with an dramatic expression, mouth in a perfect 'O' as if she had just remembered something.

"I want to show you my room, Bella!" She grinned. I nodded.

"Okay, show me your room." Claire took my hand and led me down the hall. I never had an especial liking for children; it never seemed easy to speak with them, but Claire stirred a sense of happiness in me that made me eager to do anything she wanted to do and more. Claire pushed open the door across from Edward's with the painted butterflies, to reveal a spacious room, painted a pastel shade of pink. She pulled my hand in, and I followed her.

"This is my bed!" She squealed, jumping up on the small, canopy bed.

"That's very nice," I commented, as my eyes roamed across her room. I saw many shelves with different toys on them; everything from board games, to Barbies. There was one shelf, though, that caught my eye.

"Is that a violin, Claire?" She nodded, and she clasped chubby but dainty hands around the handle, and jerked it from the shelf it had been sitting on.

"That's my shelf full of things I don't want anymore." She explained. I peered at the shelf curiously. There were a few books, which I doubted she ever opened to read, and spare marbles. The fine layer of dust on the belongings affirmed her words. When I turned back to Claire, her small hands had already taken out the violin, and its bow. I smiled. _How fast a child's hands could work..._ I thought to myself.

"First you put wax on it!" She pulled a box of wax from the compartment in the velvet-lining, and rubbed the wax across the bow. She looked at me sternly, as if she were teaching me. "Now it's ready to play," Her crooked grin reminded me of Edward, even if they weren't related by blood. I smiled back at her as she tucked the violin under her chin, and ripped the bow across the strings to make a loud squealing noise. She frowned, a single wrinkle popped in between her eyebrows and her lip pouted. "I can't play it correctly."

"It was a nice try," I offered with a smile. She thrust the violin towards me.

"Bella now play."

"Are you sure? I haven't played in a long, long time." She nodded, suddenly very serious.

"Claire-bear's sure." I took the violin in my hands, and pulled the bow across the strings, creating a beautiful chord. I played around with the notes, to make sure I still knew them, and slowly, ever so slowly, I started playing Vivaldi's spring theme; Dawn's favorite. Claire clapped her hands excitedly, squealing with delight.

"I like it when Bella plays!" I smiled as I pulled the bow in a final chord and displayed a dramatic curtsey.

"Thanks for letting me play with this, I had fun." I really did. I placed the violin and its bow gently back into its case. Claire's hands fumbled with the clasps, until she finally closed it. She lifted it up, and thrust the entire case to me. I wondered what she was doing.

"Do you want me to put this back for you?" I asked. Claire smiled mischievously, revealing tiny square teeth.

"It's too hard for me. I don't know how to play it. You keep it."

"Claire, this is yours." I reminded her gently.

"I want you to have it," She closed my fingers around the violin I had put down and I looked into her eyes. They were wide, brown eyes; beautiful, youthful, yet somehow, so serious. Warmth formed within me that almost caused tears to well in my own eyes. I swallowed thickly.

"Thank you." I whispered, bringing up a hand to touch Claire's soft cheek. Her lips curved up sweetly, taking on a much lighter tone.

"You welcome." Esme called Claire downstairs, to help with chorse, and she skipped happily out of the room, to leave me alone in my stirred emotions. I felt like floating as I put the case in my messenger bag beside Edwards bed. I was so happy.

* * *

I trotted down the stairs afterwards, to find Edward. He was putting on a jacket, over his thin undershirt. I frowned. _Did all Americans dress like this?_ "Where are you going?"

"I can't skip work for too long." Immediately, guilt washed over me-I had kept him from his work.

"Oh, I'm sorry." He shook his head with a friendly smile.

"Don't worry about it. Would you like to come to the shop?" I'd never been to an automobile shop before and I nodded eagerly. Alice skipped down the stairs on cue, with a wide grin on her face.

"Can I come too?" Edward groaned. "Seriously, Alice? This was supposed to be me and Bella time." He frowned. Alice clasped her hands together and widened her eyes to resemble that of a lost dog's. "Please Edward?" she begged. "Pleeeaaaassssseeeee?" Edward grumbled beneath his breath before muttering a "Whatever. Just do your homework or something okay?" Alice nodded and dashed upstairs. Edward raised his eyebrows toward me apologetically and I shrugged.

* * *

Watching Edward work was interesting. Despite the humidity of the cramped, dull waiting room, watching him work behind the glass was a new experience.

The boys made their work seem very easy. Edward worked beneath the car, Emmett on tires, and Jasper on engine. They worked together so simultaneously it was almost rhythmic. Except for the random periodic times reserved for laughing and joking.

Alice had brought her school work with her in a canvas bag and was working diligently on her assignments. It left me ample time to read an ancient copy of Good Housekeeping and to stare at the smooth skin on my fingertips, the scabs had finally peeled off. How lovely.

I allowed myself a peek at Edward, hid behind the copy of Good Housekeeping, which was open on the same page I'd been staring at for ten minutes. Then, I fell for temptation, and I finally let my gaze follow Edward a few moments later.

Heat blazed across my cheeks as I noticed the shapely lines of Edward's lean arms, as he reached over for a wrench. His golden skin was smooth and slightly flushed from the exercetion he was applying. Sweat trickled down Edward's face and rolled down his neck as he worked on the automobile. His brow furrowed in concentration I'd never seen in him before.

It was obvious that Emmett and Jasper were handsome. It was a fact anyone could see at school-Jasper, with his seductive smile and romantic southern twang, and Emmett with his strong jaw-line. They were both visually intriguing, even to me, who'd never cared much for the opposite sex. It never occurred to me that Edward was just as handsome as them, if not more attractive in his own way. Much, much more.

I shook my head in embarrasment to see the boys laughing about something as they each worked on their individual part of the car. Alice continued chatting to me about her school, her friends and her crush, Jimmy, and I listened diligently until I excused myself to offer Edward a paper cup of water.

"Hey," I bent down to peer beneath the truck. He slid out from under the car casually, arms crossed behind his head leisurely. _Wow. Were his muscles always this prominent? _"Hi." He wiped a trickle of sweat away from his face, in turn leaving grease in its place.

"Do you think its time for a water-" Edward sat up instantaneously, reaching for the water before I could finish my sentence. Time seemed to freeze in that moment; Edward took my cup from my hand, and he titled his head back and closed his eyes. He gulped down the water, and I watched the way his throat moved in response to the water. Even in the low light, and with the grease streaked in his hair and wife beater, He was attractive. My heart thudded in my chest; so loudly, I wanted to squish it under my foot so it.

I can't believe it...

I thought Edward Cullen was attractive.

"Is something wrong?" Edward asked, snapping me back to the normal Edward I always saw. The one I couldn't be emotionally attached to, like some drooling puppy. I couldn't help but wonder though... If I wasn't a criminal, could Edward and I possibly muster feelings for each other? I shook my head feverishly; embarrassed by my own dellusional thoughts.

"No. Nothing's wrong. Good luck with the car." I managed curtly, before I turned on my heels to walk away.

"Thanks for the water!" He called out behind me.

* * *

-Edward POV-

It was half past midnight by the time we got home, both Alice and Bella's eyelids were half-mast, they appeared exhausted.

I peered through the rear-view mirror, chuckling at the sight of Alice, who had fallen asleep in the backseat, her mouth was hanging wide open at the hinges. Bella's eyes followed my gaze and she smiled a bit, then stifled a yawn with her hand. I couldn't help but stare at the paleness of her hand. My gaze followed up to her graceful fingers, and even her shining, scarred fingertips. She was so beautiful.

"I'm sorry," I said regretfully. "I didn't mean to keep you guys up this late; I just didn't realize just how long fixing a vintage muscle car would take." Bella rose an eyebrow, she didn't appear to understand, but ignored it anyways.

"It's fine, Edward. I enjoyed watching you work." Her eyes suddenly widened in some realization and she turned away. I couldn't decipher her sheepish expression.

"Is something the matter?" I asked carefully, keeping my eyes on the road.

"Nope. Nothing." There was a pause. "Aren't you tired?"

"Insomniac, remember?" I told her with a grin as I parked in the garage. I set the parking brake before turning off the engine. There was a thick silence that hung in the air as the hum of the engine died down. Bella was the first to break it.

"I'd like to thank you for today. I've never been in an automobile shop before, but I really liked it. So thank you." She said genuinely. Her supple lips formed a sweet smile and I was at a loss for words, after seeing her smile like that.

"You're welcome. You're also welcome to come with me again, if you like." I tried to infuse as much of my sincerely as I could into my words, in a weak hope that Bella could hear the double meaning. She nodded politely and engaged her attention to unfastening her seat belt. I shook my head at myself, pitifully. _What was I thinking? Why would she want to go to a gross, sweaty automobile shop again?_

"Alice?" I called softly, she didn't stir. Her eyes were closed, revealing lavender eyelids and an angelic look to her face. I just didn't have the heart to wake her up; she looked so peaceful. I leaned into the narrow doorframe to scoop Alice's tiny frame into my arms, she didn't stir. She was as limp as a rag-doll. Bella held the door open for me, I smiled my thanks at her in response, however, she looked away. I disregarded it, but felt my shoulders sag in dissapointment, however, as I climbed the stairs. I tucked Alice into her bed and bent over to plant a kiss on her forehead.

"Goodnight, Alice." I turned back to my room. Bella was already lying in bed, wearing my thin t-shirt and boxers. The only light in the room came from my window, which was behind her. It silhouetted her figure beautifully. I removed my dirty wife beater to throw it to the floor. I put on a clean cotton shirt instead as I crawled onto the bed. Bella stiffened uncomfortably, and I mustered the courage to ask her a question.

"Bella?"

"Hmm?" She appeared uninterested.

"Are you sick?"

"You ask me this a lot, Edward." She rolled her eyes. I persisted, seriously.

"Are you?"

"No, why do you ask?"

Your face is flushed." I replied honestly. Her face turned a darker shade of pink and I realized that she was blushing! Her face was beautiful when she blushed. I could smell her hair from here. It smelled nice... Spicy, like cinnamon but touched by a floral essence, too. It was entrancing, and I rolled closer to her. Bella's eyes widened in surprise for a moment, and I summoned the courage to hesistantly put an arm around her, and pull her body against mine. Her eyes flashed up to me the instant my arm touched her.

"What are you doing?" She asked incredulously.

"I want to sleep like this." She appeared surprised, maybe even suspicious.

"Why?"

"I don't want the fates breaking in again and not being able to protect you." It was a lie, and we both knew it. The last time a fate had broken in, I'd made it safely to Bella; she wasn't in my arms then. I hoped Bella didn't notice.

"Just tonight," she warned, but rested her head on my shoulder anyways. I liked her subtle weight there, it fit nicely; as if her head was made for the width of my shoulder. "Goodnight," She sighed softly. Her soft breath warmed my chest and my heart beat stuttered at the feeling of it.

"Goodnight, Bella," I murmured into the fragrant warmth of her hair. I was so happy, I couldve been run over by a truck, dipped in acid, and still die happy. Afterall, Bella was in my arms.

**Awh, FINALLY, Edward and Bella are starting to fall... 3 let's see where we can take this! And suggestions/and or comments, feel freed to review, it'd help TONS! And as usual, thank you to my dearest reviewer, Coolgle (you are fantastic.) **

**Your Squid. **


	18. You Don't know a Thing

**"We wear our scarves, like a noose. **

**But not because we want eternal sleep.**

**And though our parts are slightly used, **

**New ones are slave labor you can keep."**

**-Regina Spektor, "Us"**

* * *

I felt Edward's arm creep up my back, with a strange sort of gentleness.

"What are you doing?" I had asked, with an iciness in my voice that wasn't intended. My previous bashful demeanor towards him had suddenly vanished, leaving nothing but fear and suspicion. Suddenly, I was afraid for a moment, that he was going to trick me. That he would wrap his arm around me gently and then abruptly flip me over, pinning me down on the bed and use my body for his own satisfaction.

"I want to sleep like this," He replied innocently, and a pang of guilt struck me as I realized that I was just being paranoid, again. _Old habits die hard, and memories die even harder._ I thought bitterly.

"Why?" I asked, though my suspicions were fading then dying. Edward spoke, his voice was velvety soft against my ear.

"I don't want the fates breaking in again and not being able to protect you." A strange warmth flooded my cheeks that I hoped Edward had not noticed. Although I knew his reasoning was an excuse, it made my lips turn up. Despite his white lie he genuinely wanted to protect me and... Be with me. I felt my breath hitch at the thought.

"Just tonight," I murmured through a thick throat, as I nestled into the crook of his neck anyways. He smelled nice... Like peppermint and clovers, along with a musky smell. It was intriguing; I wanted to lean in closer to breathe his scent in.

Edward's touch was gentle as his fingers rhythmically tapped soft patterns onto my back. I found myself wondering if he ever played piano. I wondered that, if he did, would he play for me?

_No! _I argued with myself._ Don't trust him! Don't trust yourself, for that matter! Don't trust anyone..._

Edward's hand stroked my hair and against my own will, I felt myself relax at his touch. Exhaustion from the day caught up to my body, and I suddenly felt fatigued. I stifled a yawn with a hand, and closed my eyes, feeling nothing but the warmth of Edward against my body, the rising and falling of his chest as he breathed. I felt myself slumping against his shoulder into the miserable oblivion of sleep.

"Goodnight," I managed to murmur on the brink of sleep. I felt his lips in my hair twisting into a smile.

"Goodnight, Bella," His voice was the last thing I heard before I fell under.

* * *

"Dawn? Please help me. I don't know what to do..." My voice has cracked. "How am I supposed to protect them? How can I protect Alice?" I was growing desperate. _Why didn't I die while I still had the chance?_

"Bella, don't you dare give up! They're depending on you!" I had never heard this sort of tone in her voice before; I knew instantly that she had somehow heard my morbid thoughts. "Try harder." The soft clouds rolled in, and I realized that the nightmares were going to engulf me once more.

This time, I saw a little. I saw red, flickering flames, as well as shards of glass flying into the air, against a blue sky. Then came the metallic roar, and the sound of an engine revving. I heard the agonized, blood-curtling scream that pierced my ear drums.

A pink rose cupped in a small hand materialized out of the darkness, and faded to blood, rubbed all over asphalt like a child testing out a red crayon against black paper. Then it all went black.

Dawn's voice chimed eerily like a tolling bell at a funeral. Her voice was distorted into a hellish drawl,

"Five days, Bella."

* * *

I opened my eyes wide, and gasped in breaths when I couldn't breathe. I choked on my gasps and felt Edward's arms wrap around me tighter, before he stirred awake.

"Bella?" He murmured, his voice rough with sleep. "Are you alright?" His eyes, only half focused, found mine in the darkness, inches away from mine. The moonlight streaming through the window made his eyes appear a muted auburn color; it reminded me of leaves, touched by fall's color pallet.

"I'm fine." I lied weakly, managing a tight smile that probably made my lie look even more apparant. I pushed his arm away and sat on the side of the bed, with my legs against my body, trying to catch my breath. The sound of the blood-curdling scream twisted my stomach as it bounced through my skull; it made me nauseous. Edward's voice held no sign of detecting my lie, but I knew he was aware that I was lying._ I hope he isn't aware about just how far my lies go..._

"You were crying out in your sleep." He reminded me gently. I blew out a breath between my cheeks and ran a hand through my hair, trying to comprehend what had happened and to piece together what to say.

* * *

-Edward POV-

Bella sat with her knees tucked against her chest, and her head atop her arms. Her large, doe eyes appeared hollowed, almost dead, and I wanted nothing more than to comfort her. I all but had to sit on my hands so I wouldn't wrap my arms around her body, and let her cry.

I remembered how Bella had cried in front of me so long ago, probably for the first time in a long time. It was heart breaking, but ultimately, bitter sweet. With every tear that rolled down her face, she appeared relieved, as if every tear drop washed away a sin. I wanted to offer her a hug, and ultimately, the same feeling of relief and safety.

* * *

-Bella POV-

Edward crawled over to my bedside, and reached out with open arms to embrace me, but I pushed him away by the chest before he could touch me.

"There's only so much you know about me, Edward!" I hissed angrily in the darkness. Why was I upset at Edward? He only wanted to comfort me. Edward's shock faded to hurt, as he looked away, and mumbled a quiet apology. The depth of the sadness in his eyes added weights to my shoulders-I had caused this misery.

"N-No. I'm sorry." I stammered, but anger suddenly fueled my blood again as I remembered with frustration what I was apologizing for. "It's just that you don't have a single clue as to-" I stopped myself before I continured and Edward looked at me accusingly.

"That I don't what, Bella?" I shook my head, not wanting to finish the sentence.

_You don't have a single clue as to how fucking dangerous I really am, and how badly I can ruin your life._

_I _don't_ want to ruin your life, too._

_After all, every life I touch dies because of me._

"Nevermind." I muttered, looking away as I awkwardly combed my fingers through my hair.

Why, Bella? Why did you lash out at Edward like that?

Then I realized the only pathetic excuse that had surfaced to my mind. The guilt had eaten me away, corroded me. Flashes of all of the dead eyes I had numbly stared at came back to me. Once you are changed, you are changed forever._ See, Bella. This is why you shouldn't feel anything, saves you trouble. This is why you can't be attached to Edward._

"Bella," Edward's voice was velvet against the darkness and he leaned in so close to me, I could feel the warmth of his breath blowing in small puffs near my jaw. He smelled like peppermint, and clovers. I felt more overwhelmed than ever, it was almost dizzying. We were so close to each other, I could clearly see every single eyelash that framed his eyes, and the respective crinkles around his eyes. I gazed into the chocolate depth of his eyes for as long as I could.

"You don't even know where I came from." I whispered pitifully, shaking my head without releasing my gaze. Edward raised an eyebrow, and I was suddenly afraid of his answer.

What if he was going to ask me about my past? Call the police? Even worse, tell Esme and Carli-

His brief answer startled me and cut my thoughts off short.

"I don't care." He said huskily. I stared at him in amazement. _He. Didn't. Care. Was he serious? Did he mean it? Could he possibly mean it? _Edwards head bobbed in a nod as if to reassure my despondent thoughts, and he continued gently,

"I'm serious, Bella. It doesn't matter. That's not who you are, I have faith in you." My lips were parted, but no words could fill the empty silence, or explain the sudden relief that washed over me. Edward nodded drowsily and stifled a wide yawn with his hand. He patted my hair affectionately, while looking at me sleepily. I looked away, uncomfortably. When I finally spoke, I sounded a thousand miles away.

"Thank you." I barely managed to whisper an octave higher than silence. I heard no reply, and I turned in confusion. Edward's eyes were closed, his head was tilted back against the headboard. He was asleep.

"Edward," I touched his shoulder, he didn't move. "Edward?" I shook him a little harder, and he fluttered his eyes open.

"You know, Bella, there's nothing wrong with feeling... You're such a Spartan..." His words were slurred as moved off of the headboard, and moved down, on the other side of the bed. He was already asleep. I looked at his sleeping features, so soft, he looked like a child. A strand of his hair had fallen in front of his eyes, and I pushed it away with a trembling hand. I gazed at him absent-mindedly, fixated by his words.

You're such a Spartan... Nothing wrong with feeling... What was a Spartan?

Why was I even thinking about this?! I thought, with frustration. He's just sleep-talking; he doesn't know what he's saying! However, a small part of me knew that the words he spoke while he was asleep was the most honest thing that anyone had ever said to me.

I crawled beneath my covers hours later, wishing I could hide there forever and never be caught. Never be trapped in the lies that I created for myself.

I saw the same sunrise-like clouds glow menacingly, and I listened, fatigued and withdrawn even in sleep.

"Claire!" I heard Edward's voice echo throughout my mind, so loudly, I could hear it clearly in the dream, and I thought he was shaking me awake. I bolted up to the sound of his voice, expecting to see him right beside me, and hear his soothing voice tell me that I had a nightmare, that I was okay. I was wrong. My eyes widened as I saw his figure beside me, his soft, slumbering breaths in sync with the riding and falling of his chest. Edward hadn't moved an inch.

He was in my dream...

But why?

**Sorry guys, another cliffie. Hope you enjoyed this one, and a thousand thanks to Coolgle, (how fantastic you are!) and Kikabrona (Your review flattered me soooo much. It really was much too kind, thank you!) who help me tremendously with feedback. **

**Have a good night, **

**Your Squid.**


	19. Confession

**"The Raven."**

_I discarded that name years ago. Yet people still searched for me. _

_"It's been almost half a year... No one here, not even an immigrant will recognize me as the Raven." I kept lying to myself. But truly, deep in the corners of my heart, I knew it wasn't over. _

_I owed thousands of dollars to the government, if only they could catch me. I owed life sentences in jail, if only they could arrest me. If my tongue slipped one hint, one lie, everything I survived for, everything I ran away from would crumble to waste. I never knew today was the day I let my tongue slip, let my brick walls crumble down ay an alarming speed that nothing could ever fix it again._

* * *

I didn't go back to sleep that night. How could I sleep, after knowing that Alice was Fate's target and Edward was somehow involved? Both Edward and Alice's screams rattled in my head, and it made me sick to my stomach. _Dawn said only one person was targeted... Who is it?_ I turned many times to look at Edward's sleeping face, it looked soft in the dim light cast from the early morning light. "Please don't die," I whispered to his sleeping face. Alice didn't deserve to die, but neither did he.

When I accepted the fact that I couldn't go back to sleep, I crawled out of bed and approached Edward's desk, pulling his secret folder from it. I found so many portraits of my face, in different angles and colors, but one thing stayed consistent among every single one; he had drawn a frown on my face. I faltered when I saw that Edward had drawn us together. We were embracing? No. He was holding me as I cried, outside of the school's brick wall. It the day I had changed into Vampira. _He remembered that? _My fingers had slipped and the drawing fluttered down.

"Crap!" I hissed. The paper had landed face-down on the wood floor. Then, I saw a small inscription on the back, written in Edward's scrawl.

_What can I do to make you happy, Bella?_ I pictured Edward writing this, hunched over his desk as he worked on this very drawing.

_Did Edward care about me just as much as I cared about him? _ Just as a warm feeling was about to reveal itself, I realized how ridiculous I was acting. I immediately filed the papers back in an impeccable order and thrust them back into the folder with guilt. _Don't get your hopes up, Swan. It won't matter. After he knows the truth, caring about you will be the last of his priorities._

I avoided Edward for the day, finding small chores to help Esme with. She was impressed with my willingness to help, but guilt struck me again, with a pang. _I'm using these distractions for a completely selfish purpose, and ironically, Esme thinks I'm a kind person._ I blew a sigh from between my cheeks and continued folding laundry.

_I can't allow myself to be attached to Edward anymore; this is becoming too intricate! What was I thinking? How much longer can I possibly continue these lies? How much longer will Edward believe them? And more importantly: h__ow much longer until I'm caught?_

_Edward. _My heart somehow stuttered at the very thought of us yesterday, sleeping on the same mattress, together. _I had liked it,_ I realized. _Despite my hardest attempt at not feeling, he always brings the deepest emotion out of me. He always greets me with a smile... He makes me feel important. He even said that theres nothing wrong with feeling. Maybe I should tell him the truth...? _I shook my head, at myself. _I can't tell Edward the truth. _

_Afterall, he'd hate me. _

* * *

The petty chores were carried out for the remainder of the afternoon; I'd been feeling quite accomplished, I'd been able to avoid Edward all day. However, when dinner time came, everyone gathered around the table. With the tension that surrounded Edward and I, dinner that night was unmistakably daunting. Even Claire's usual coos were hushed, Alice's lips were pursed. Esme was the first to break the silence cheerfully.

"Edward, will you pass the peas, please?" Edward nodded and complied silently. Esme chewed and started conversationally,

"Bella, will you tell us about your family?" All eyes went to me. Edward paused, mid-chew, and put his fork down with a clatter.

"Mom, I don't think-" he attempted to defend me.

"They're really not supportive of me," I offered. "I don't go home often," _Well, at least it's not a lie._

"I'm sorry to hear that," Carlisle offered from across the table. Esme nodded in sympathy and agreement. "How are you liking Forks High?"

"Aside from hiding away from the rest of the students, it's fine," I snickered. _How true that was... _From across the table, Edward's eyes flickered to mine, demandingly, in a question. _Had he caught that?_ I looked down and shoved a forkful of mashed potatoes uncomfortably into my mouth, feeling Edward's eyes me. The silence carried out, for what seemed like hours until Esme broke it.

"How are the students treating you?"

"Great," I lied. "I made many new friends." Esme smiled warmly.

"That's wonderful." She peered around the anxious eyes around the table and cleared her throat gently. "Well, I think it's safe to assume we're done here," She put down her napkin politely. Edward stood to offer help, but she waved him away. "We'll do the dishes tonight," Esme said, and Carlisle nodded. I snuck away from the table, muttering a soft "thank you" and headed up to Edward's room. Edward's footsteps followed mine immediately behind.

"Bella, about what you said earlier-" He started, but I cut him off.

"Goodnight, Edward!" I said loudly, hoping he would take the hint and shut up. To my disappointment, he didn't, and continued pestering me as we walked through the doorway of his room.

"Bella? Talk to me." He kept insisting, that whatever it was, he had a right to know. "What did you mean you're in hiding? Did you mean it?" I slammed the door shut behind us and turned to face him.

"Èdwārd!" I snapped, unthinkingly rolling my tongue fluidly on the r. I clapped both of my hands to my mouth, my eyes wide with horror as I realized what I had done. I had let my Roevincan accent slip.

Edward's eyes widened, and I could practically sense the gears that clicked in his head as his unspoken questions were finally answered all at once. I already knew what he was thinking-I was Roevincan. Homeless. In hiding. That only led to one thing.

"You're the criminal who escaped from Roevinca," He breathed. I managed a weak nod in the darkness. Edward was quiet as he turned away from me. I couldn't see his expression from here, but I suddenly feared Edward. When the silence was too much to bear, I finally spoke.  
"You're not going to tell on me, are you?" The fear building in me made my voice quaver; I sounded like a little girl again. Edward turned to me, his face eerily smooth in the silver light. His response surprised me as it came swiftly; no hesitation lingered in his voice.  
"No, of course not." I wanted to ask why he wouldn't, but something in his eyes looked just as uncertain as mine. We were quiet for a moment, until the pressure cracked us. When Edward broke the silence, his eyes were hard.

"Bella..." He ran a hand through his hair, and it fell smack against his body in frustration. "I trusted you! Something in the back of mind always told me not to, but I did! Why couldn't you trust me enough to tell me the damn truth?"

"Edward-" I started pleadingly, but he cut me off, angrily.

"You lied to me!" His hands shook, and he sat down on the side of his bed. Hot tears welled in my eyes to see him broken, like this. Because of me. "I... Can't believe..." He couldn't finish his sentence and looked away. Heavy tears rolled down my face, betraying me. I swallowed hard.

"Edward," I sobbed through a thick throat. "I didn't mean to-"

"They all don't mean to, do they!?" He exclaimed accusingly, his eyes narrowed. His expression was nothing short of pissed as he snatched his jacket and his keys from his desk and stormed across the room, to the door. He grabbed the door knob, and my heart sank.

"He killed her." It slipped out, as only a whisper, but Edward caught it. He let go of the door knob and slowly turned towards me, his eyes glinted in the moonlight. I continued. "He killed Dawn... My only friend." Edward's lips parted, and he uttered a soft,

"I don't understand. Bella, what are you talking about?" I sighed, and closed my eyes, trying to phrase the sentence in my head just so he could understand it.

"Did... Did you ever want to kill your mother for what she did to your father?" I opened my eyes to see Edward nodding slowly, but the confusion was clear on his face.

"I'd never do it, though." He said quietly. "Bella. What does this have to do with anything?" I bit my lip, hard enough to draw blood. Edward sat on the edge of the bed and motioned for me to sit beside him. I moved hesitantly, slowly, in case he changed his mind, but he didn't. He remained still; he didn't even look uncomfortable as I sat beside him. I sat cross legged before him, my eyes downcast. I was unsure of what to say. Edward put his finger beneath my chin, and tilted my head up.

"Bella," His eyes were understanding. I wanted to look away, but he continued. "You need to tell me what happened. The truth. I have a right to know." I looked away as the memories flooded my head. I sighed shakily, willing myself not to cry again and swallowed the lump in my throat.

"When you said last night, that you wouldn't judge me...?"

"I wasn't lying." He replied. I didn't speak, and Edward awkwardly moved his hand from my face and folded them in his lap. "What did you do that put you in jail?" Edward asked softly.

"All kinds of things, Edward..." I sighed, my teary eyes grew distant as they pulled me back into a different time and place. A dark memory surfaced, of when I frantically scrubbed blood that did not belong to me off of my hands in the river, and watched the crimson float and swirl-like the Devil's paint pallet-in the water. Edward's voice brought me back to reassuring reality-the seclusion of his bedroom, far away from Roevinca.

"You know what?" His face in the moonlight appeared flustered. "You don't have to-"  
"No." I said quietly, cutting him off. "I want to. This has been on my mind for years already." I sighed, not meaning to sound oppressive. I glanced uncomfortably at the moonlight in Edward's hair, before starting. "I was sold into slavery since before I could remember. I don't know where my parents are. I don't know who they are. All I came with was with a tag with my name and birthdate."

Edward listened wordlessly, nodding every now and then. "My name was Vorone Komarov." The name tasted dark and bitter in my mouth, and threatened to bring up bile-I wanted to rake my fingernails down my tongue to scrape the vile, acidic taste off. "I am The Raven." I said quietly.  
"I only changed my name to Bella recently. I thought Bella was a common American name." I confessed sheepishly. Edward smiled politely.

"It's okay, I thought spaghetti was pronounced backwards as a kid." He smirked, and I had no doubt in my mind that this was one of his stupid jokes. Until he added, "I mean it."

I couldn't help but smirk a little, too.

"Anyways... I know you want to know why I was in jail." Edward nodded, just as I thought. I closed my eyes, and inhaled a shaky breath, slow despite the frantic drumming of my heart beat. I couldn't have been more nervous to jump off of a skyscraper.

"I was in jail because I murdered, twice." I looked down. My hands trembled, so I twisted the bed sheets in my hands to attempt to hide the quavering. "My overseer was abusive... He held a whip." I couldn't help but look down at the inside of my right calf, which still had the shining white scar against the tanned skin. My fingers traced the streak, and I looked up to see Edward's eyes softened. I suddenly felt my heart harden as I muttered,

"I don't want your sympathy. I don't deserve it." Edward looked away, pretending awkwardly to glance at the floor for my sake. When the silence was a little too much to bear, I cleared my throat and continued.  
"The other slaves were all criminals serving time, so I learned most of my ways from them. While watching them steal, and pick locks and pockets, I was learning. That's how I escaped prison. I'm lucky I did, too." I murmured, mostly to myself. "I was sentenced to life for the murder, and I was already starving then. I would've died had I not run away." The silence nearly shattered my hearing. I waited in agony For Edward to react. To scream. To call me a mad bitch and run away. However, to my surprise, Edward parted his lips and spoke rationally. (As rationally as you could in an irrational situation, anyways.)

"I know you wouldn't murder for the thrill, Bella. You don't like the attention. You also obviously don't like expressing yourself, so I don't think you'd murder in an act of passion...?" His voice rose in a question. When I didn't answer, the silence somehow, grew even louder.

"Will you tell me if I'm right? " He finally asked. I laughed dryly.

"I didn't ever murder for thrill." I finally answered. "I murdered... for revenge." The word sounded odd rolling off of my tongue, as I never quite realized that myself. That rainy day, I was just acting on instinct, stabbing blindly over and over into the mans back. It didn't occur to me that I was feeling vengeance. "It was the last time I ever felt or expressed... anything." I took in a breath before I looked to Edward in confirmation. He nodded, and gestured for me to go on.

I was at first, reluctant to tell him anything, fearing I might regret even bringing up the memories; let alone sharing this with him. However, with every word, it became easier to sort through my memories that had been confined for so long. Even I was surprised at the detail my mind had captured as I told it all back to Edward.

* * *

I had been brought into the stinking room that made my eyes water and throat choke, with a small tag that had my name, age and birthday. And that was all.  
Immediately I was taken to work, threading small needles, hunched over for many hours until I wanted to scream in protest, "I'm just a child!" A large, burly man with a beard stared at me as I worked. His eyes were dark black, they scared me.

"Mister," I had started. The whip in his hand suddenly came to life, and cracked down, onto my leg with an unspeakable force. I cried out in pain, clutching my injured leg.

"Sir!" He screamed into my face. "You will address me as Sir, and Sir only!" A few slaves came to my aid and whispered into my ear,

"He is the overseer. You will do as he says."

The night I was brought there, I was trying to comprehend what had happened. Why I was here, what I was doing this for, and when would I get out. I fell asleep with salty tears still rolling down my cheeks and seeping between my lips.  
The next morning was the same. So was the following morning, and the months and years that passed, until I couldn't even remember the life I may have had before this one.

Every day was the same, slaving away, until one day, Sir had hired an assistant. Her name was Dawn. The day she stepped into the salt mill, everyone including myself, stopped and stared. She was the only person in the factory dressed in garments with colors on them. Her hair was a color of gold that shimmered even in the dim light. It had tints of flaxen in them that I had never seen on anyone's head before. I glanced towards my coworkers, most of whom were criminals, and stifled a giggle with a hand when I saw their strong-looking jaws fall open at their hinges at the sight of this beautiful foreign lady.  
"Hello everyone," She spoke in perfect Roevincan, not hinting a trace of her foreign whereabouts. "My name is Dawn, I will be your assistant overseer from now on. I will do my best to help you, in any way I can." She smiled kindly, her twinkling eyes meeting every one of ours in the dim light. When her eyes met mine, my breath stopped. _She was looking at me_, I thought.  
When Sir had enough of the drool hanging out of the men's mouths, he snapped at us, to get to work. With that, we begrudgingly turned back to our duties. I was sure she was not forgotten though. Afterall, the blonde woman was certainly on my mind. Just as the thought of Dawn appeared, I felt a tap on my shoulder, and turned around.  
"Hello," She stood before me, smiling warmly. I didn't understand what she was saying.  
"I can't speak your language," I confessed, wanting to look to the ground, but unable to pull my eyes away from hers. She smiled.

"I'm sorry, I should have known," She apologized in perfect Roevincan. "What is your name?"

"My name is Vorone." I said, overjoyed that she was speaking to me.  
"That's a lovely name. Where I come from, that is pronounced, 'Raven'..." Her tongue fluidly slid out my foreign name, making it sound like beautiful bells. "How old are you, Vorone?"  
"I am nine years old." She smiled.  
"Vorone, you are very young-That's a good thing!" She interjected when I flushed red. "I want to help you." She said, in a much lower voice.  
"Help me?" I whispered.  
"You are still young, you should not even be here, working in a factory." Concern lined her forehead. "Would you like to help me instead of working here?"  
The idea spurred me into further thinking. The thought of being able to brush this woman's beautiful hair, or helping her with anything she wanted. I was completely ecstatic at the thought.

A sharp whistle sounded, and Dawn turned. Sir held up a hand, waving her forward with his fingers. She frowned.  
"Excuse me Vorone, let me see what he wants." She strode off to the head office, many heads turned at the sight of her long legs. Then the door was shut behind them. Just as all the men started turning back to their duties, a loud smacking sound echoed within the mill, from the room, and we all froze, afraid to even breathe. After a short silence, the knob to the door twisted open, and Dawn quietly walked out. Her usual composure was not even an ounce crumpled, but when she turned her face, an ugly bruise was forming, disfiguring her flawless cheek.

We immediately retreated back to our jobs, with a fear. If a woman that kind and harmless was slapped mercilessly, how would we be mutilated, once in the attention of Sir's hands?  
The rest of the day was rather quiet.

The next day, the overseer gruffly said that he had errands to run, and that Dawn would be in charge. Before she strode over, he darkly threatened,

"If any of you stop working, I'll cut your fucking hands off without a second thought." The threat still hung in the air, leaving a tense note as Dawn replaced his body. Once the sound of the truck leaving started, Dawn spoke.  
"I think every one of you should have a break today. What do you say?" And suddenly, the threat was forgotten, like yesterday's trash as the men cheered as if there were no tomorrow.  
We never had any breaks. Perhaps on weekends we would have an extra hour to sleep, but breaks were unheard of, and we're very appreciated.  
Many of the men played makeshift darts, using a knife and a oil stain on the wall. It served its purpose well. One of the bunch drew out a pack of forbidden cards and poker started. I simply sat in the corner, and watched.  
I was so lost in my own world, that I was startled when Dawn tapped me and asked if I would join her in her office, since she was feeling lonely. I obliged, willing to do anything for her. I noted that her cheek still had a faint shadow across it.  
"Would you like some peaches?" I eagerly nodded, and dug in, shoveling the fruit into my mouth before I could even realise how rude I was being. I wiped my mouth on the back of my arm.  
"Ms. Dawn," I started. She smiled kindly, insisting that I called her Dawn. "Dawn..." I tested the words on my tongue. "Why would you want to help me? I'm nobody." She frowned, her red lips revealed no teeth as they turned down.

"Don't ever believe that, you have so much potential, so much life." She paused and looked down. "Also," She added, with soft eyes. "You remind me of someone I used to know."  
"Who?" I asked a little too eagerly.  
"My son, Jonathan." _This glorious woman was a mother? How could this be?_  
"How old is he? Dawn's smile turned down a little.  
"He was eight. He was hit by a car a few weeks before his 7th birthday," I couldn't imagine the sadness.  
"I'm sorry." I murmured. "I didn't mean to pry."  
"It's okay. It was a long time ago." I knew I wasn't long ago. She looked no older than 25. Her child had died recently.  
"Vorone, would you like to be friends with me?"  
And that was all it took, for a friendship that lasted for years.

It was perhaps three in the morning when I finished telling that much. Edward didn't look tired. He had been listening intently, nodding every now and then.  
"What happened to Dawn?"

And I finally told him, everything I could possibly remember about my past. Speaking felt like I had let a bird out of a cage... Like I was freeing something that was dying to escape from me, instead of just withering away to die within me.

The day Dawn was murdered, (and I became a murderer,) was a marked page in my book. That was the first day of the rest of my life as _the _Raven. I was thirteen, and it was a slow moving Saturday. Dawn had sent me on an errand, but called me back just before I could leave her door. She presented me with a doll. It was a teddy bear, with shining button eyes; she said it belonged to her son.

At first, I objected, knowing that no matter how much time could pass, her late son would always be precious to her. However, she smiled timidly, and said 'take it.' I clutched the bear in my arms and I remember I said 'thank you' many times.

Dawn told me to keep it in a safe place-if it even caught the corner of Sir's eye, neither of us would see it again. I nodded feverishly, and thrust it deep in the bottom of my bag.

I left the workplace through the back door. I didn't want anyone to catch me. Dawn had sent me out for fresh peaches, so we could enjoy them later, she had said. I wandered around the bazaar and let my fingers ghost over the different kinds of peaches.

_Yellow, or pink, Yellow or pink?_ I picked them up to weigh them in my hands. I eyed them, wondering which one Dawn would like the most. I paid for the yellow peaches and hurried back to working grounds with the bags in my hand. I snuck into the factory, hiding behind the machinery so no one would notice my absence. But...

Something was wrong.

No one was at their stations, and all of the lights were on. We never turned all of the lights on. Everyone was gathered in a loose circle away from the machinery, and their faces were twisted in grimaces.

I heard a strange kind of muffled sound and my feet brought me closer, against my own will.

As soon as I approached the ring of people, someone's arms pulled me back. Someone had to cover my eyes, but I could already see.

I saw Dawn crouched down on the ground, fetal position, her delicate arms were shielding her blonde head from harm. I could not comprehend what was happening. I had never seen her graceful body quake like this before, until Sir's foot came into view, he kicked her in the side. Hard enough that her body recoiled.

"You let her out!" Sir roared incomprehensibly and cracked the whip down on her. "Fucking bitch!" With ice in my blood, I realized, Dawn was being punished because I left. Dawn moaned, but didn't move. In Sir's hands, was his whip in his weak hand, and a gleaming knife in his other. There was blood on it-had he stabbed her?

"Stop it!" I screamed, and my shrill voice echoed across the walls of the building, thrice. All eyes were on me, and I half ran, half-stumbled forward to kneel beside Dawn. Her perfect face was dripping blood, from her nose, between her lips, and in lines across her cheeks. With every precious drop, it fueled my revulsion.

"Dawn?" Her eyes were flickering. "Dawn! Are you okay?! Please, say something!" I pleaded with desperation. Her eyes rolled back in her head, exposing white slits. Her bloody lips parted as she drew in a shallow breath.

It was the last breath she ever took.

A blood-curdling scream left my lips, I was infuriated, the entire room was dark red, darker than the pool of blood around Dawn's body.

The moments that happened next happened so fast, my mind could barely process it.

I had attacked Sir. To this day, I don't remember what happened clearly. I had startled him enough that I knocked the knife out of his hands. I took advantage of his lack of arms, and shoved my fist against his large, protruding stomach. He barely budged, and sneered maliciously.

His fist connected to my face with a crunching sound, my head whipped to the side in recoil. Sir's fist came flying into view again, and I kicked my foot between his legs in the groin area out of desperation. Somehow, it worked.

He groaned and faltered for only a moment, but that was all I needed. That was when I had picked the hilt of knife from the floor in a blindingly quick movement, and stabbed the sharp end of the knife into his back of his skull. His body went slack and fell to the ground. Revulsion and the all-consuming fire of rage swallowed me, and everything I knew as the blade sunk deeper and deeper into him.

Everyone had went silent. I couldn't speak. The hilt of the knife fell out of my numb, unfeeling hands, to fall to the floor noisily. The sound reverberated out towards everyone, ricochetting against everything, creating a shattering echo throughout the enclosed space.

As soon the knife clattered to the floor, time returned to normal speed, and everyone everyone lunged at me. I scrambled back to the floor, alarmed. I ripped the spare flare gun the manager always had on his belt.

"Stay back!" I yelled, holding the gun aimed towards the people I used to work with. I saw the faces surrounding me turn into fear and horror towards me. Albina, Matros, Vladdik... They had done nothing to me. They were my allies, and now I was pointing a gun towards them. I dropped the gun and sprinted away, out of the factory and into the night. It was from then where my life started.

I wasn't old enough to sell my body. Even if that were an option, I still don't know if I would do it or not. With no money, I had no option of shelter. Most nights in Roevinca were frosted over, I almost froze, twice. I hadnt known the moment the knife entered that retched man's skull, that I would sleep in alley ways for the next three years of my life.

* * *

"That's what happened, Bella?" Edward said slowly. His tone was indifferent.

"Yes." I was waiting. Waiting for him to hit me, spit at me. Tell me I was a monster and run away.

"You were wanted for murder?" He asked slowly. I nearly smacked a hand to my face in frustration.

"Will you stop asking me questions like this?" I asked, my eyebrows arched as I glared at him wearily. "You know what the hell I am now. So go ahead." I gestured for Edward to continue.

"Go ahead?" He asked, a small crinkle of confusion creased his brow. I drew in a breath to prepare myself for the truth.

"Hate me." I finally said. There was a long period of silence before a small smile of amusement cracked Edward's lips and he raised his eyebrows.

"What?" He asked slowly with an amused smirk. _Was he enjoying this?_

"Tell me how disgusted you are. I'm used to rejection, Edward, but you make this extremely and unnecessarily long!" I exclaimed.

"Bella." I turned away from him, but I heard his voice at my ear anyways. "Look at me." His finger under my chin tilted my face up to his. His face was a plain mask, his eyes were full of warmth, sympathy, sincerity.

"I don't hate you. Not in the single bit. See Bella, the difference between our childhoods isn't really that different. We both watched our only family be murdered... But the only difference is that," He laughed dryly. "I was a fucking coward. You actually did something about it. I never did."

"What are you trying to say?" I managed to ask. Edward continued indifferently.

"If I can't hate you, neither should your country. Roevinca was wrong to arrest you. What you did was in self defense, and to help your case further, you were only a child." My jaw dropped at that word, "child."

"I was fourteen, Edward!" I stared at him with my jaw clenched hard, but he continued cooly,

"That's Alice's age. My point: still a child." He finished smugly.

"But I was fighting him," I insisted.

"Bella, Bella," He chuckled and I scowled. What was so funny? "Sweetheart, you're such a Spartan." It was evident that he wasn't asleep when he said that last night.

"What the hell do you mean by that?" I demanded, my fists clenched.

"It means..." He paused to smooth my clenched hand out and then continued. "You're one of the strongest people I know; you've trained yourself to be immobile to pain, and to fear nothing, or feel nothing, rather, no matter what. But... Bella?" He waited until my eyes were on his, then continued. "There's nothing wrong with feeling sometimes. That's life."

I was stunned, unsure of how to handle this newfound information. Was he telling the truth? When I didn't respond, he continued, gently.

"Why do you live, Bella?" I scoffed.

"I don't know... I just survive, I guess. Life has no meaning to me, Edward."

"I sincerely doubt that, Bella." He countered politely. "After Dawn offered youtour life back, you did accept, didn't you?" I didn't answer him, and he continued. "What were you planning to do after you saved Alice's life?" It was a rhetorical question, I gave him a rhetorical response.

"What have I been doing all my life?" His lips curved gently. "That's for you to find out." He patted my shoulder gently as he padded over to the bathroom. I heard him brushing his teeth, and in that quiet solitude, I thought about the night, it's turn of events.

Edward eventually emerged from the bathroom, wearing black sweatpants and a holey tee shirt. Somehow he made it look stylish.

"Aren't you upset, though?" I finally asked. He shook his head no.

"I'm not upset now. The only thing that made me disappointed was you were lying to me, which you really shouldn't do." He added, grimly. I nodded in agreement until I winced.

"I have-I have to tell you something else, too." I sat on my hands so they would stop shaking. Edward frowned.

"Are you alright? You look pale." He inspected my face, then casually added, "Maybe it can wait for another time. When you're ready to talk about it, you can tell me." I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Sounds like a plan to me." He nodded, good naturedly.

"Bella, I know you oppose the idea of sleep, but I think you need rest." I nodded wearily. God, was he right about that. He leaned close to me, his unruly hair was inches away from mine.

"Do you want me to sleep with you?" He asked in a hushed whisper.

"NO," I spat, my eyes wide with mortification as my hands clutched my chest.  
"Ssh!" Edward looked towards the hall, to where his parents slept. "I meant," He started in a whisper, as if to soothe me. "Do you want me to sleep beside you? You look terrified."

I looked away from his eyes, saying nothing, but moving beneath the covers to the far side of the bed, leaving ample space for Edward. He settled beside me under the covers. His bed was big enough for the two of us not to touch, so we didn't. I laid my head on his pillow that smelled of clovers and mint, breathing in the familiar scent that instantly soothed my mind.  
"Try to get some sleep. I'll wake you up if you have a bad dream." I nodded.  
"Okay... Goodnight." I closed my eyes. Although we weren't touching beneath the blanket, knowing that I wasn't alone helped me sleep quietly.

**Whoo, was that a long chapter. I haven't written in a while, my apologies**. **Have a pleasant night,**

**Your Squid. **


	20. Day of the Death

**Next day, Edward's room, bedtime**

* * *

"Edward?" I'd asked him.

"Hmm?" Edward slouched by the foot of the bed, a clip-board on his lap as he sketched idly, he didn't look up.

"What would you like for your birthday, tomorrow?" He looked up from his drawing, an amused smile curved his lips.

"How did you find out?"

"Alice told me." I shrugged casually before I continued. "What would you like as a gift?" I had little to offer him, but I felt obligated to at least present him with something. He risked himself for me, and all I'd done was lie to him, over and over, involving him in a mess he didn't even know he was in. Edward was silent in deep thought, for a moment. When the corners of his pursed lips twitched, I immediately knew his next words were going to be a lie. He let the word slip out casually and slowly.

"Nothing."

"Nothing?" I echoed questioningly. "Are you sure? Last chance to ask." I warned him.

"I have what I want, right here." He smiled, and I suddenly realized the double meaning in his words as he looked through dark eyelashes towards me, adoringly. He wasn't talking about the sketches he was shifting between his fingers, or the early, questionably wrapped present he received from Alice.

"Oh, Alice's pre-birthday card?" I asked innocently. "Did you ever get a chance to open it?" I sought a distraction from the direction the conversation was headed. Wherever that was.

"No, not Alice's card," He mused, and then flickered his eyes up to mine, the lamp made his eyes look like a pool of rich browns. The burning feeling I felt before, as I watched working Edward in the shop returned, to claw at my chest, making my heart beat loudly. "I wouldn't mind if you allowed me to take you out on a date, though."

"A date?" I scoffed. "What would I possibly do at a date with you?" I didn't realize how harsh the curious words sounded coming from my lips until it was too late, and a regrettable look was cast in Edward's eyes.

"Never mind," He turned away as a blush burned his cheeks and the bridge of his nose. Though I felt ashamed counteracting his kind offer, I was too embarrassed to apologize. There were short, quick sounds of pencil scratching delicate paper, until he continued, very quietly. "I'd like to take you dancing one day, though." He said, almost shyly.

"Me? I can't dance." My words barely came out a whisper. He set his clipboard aside and smiled charmingly as he lay back against the pillows beside me. My heart stuttered by our closeness. "It's not hard." He murmured, just as quietly as me. He shifted in the sheets, and settled upon laying back.

"It's something you feel, not something you think about." He left me hanging onto the truth of his words, as he closed his eyes. His face looked so peaceful, and I tried to wrap my head around the idea of Edward and I on a date. I shook my head of the thought, how silly was this.

In the quiet serenity, I stared at his closed eyelids, struggling to remember what I was trying to ask him in the first place.

"Edward, what did you want for your birthday?" He was fast asleep, leaving me no response, rather leaving me the curious embers of what this emotion felt like, dancing and swirling within me. I gazed at the long, dark eyelashes, and the slow expanding of his chest as he breathed.

I used to hate the mere prospect of holding feelings, but the emotion I felt was hard to describe. I struggled for hours until I finally fell into restless sleep. Within that sleep, the clouds appeared, and I heard the dream over again.

Metallic crushing sounds merged with the sound of glass shattering. Alice's piercing scream rung in my head, and I heard Edward call out to her in desperation, "Alice, no!"

There was a buzz of background noise, people talking on radios, until it all stopped abruptly. No time left, Bella... Dawn's voice was a hellishly distorted drawl and I startled awake, with my shirt sticking to my back with sweat. I struggled to catch my breath until it truly hit me.

Oh god...

"No time left"... Today was the feared day that Alice or Edward would die.

I rolled onto my side, feeling extremely nauseated. I was inches away from Edward's sleeping face now. His arms were around me even in his sleep, but it offered me little comfort. I overlooked his face, slowly.

His unruly hair was plastered against his face, and I had a strange urge to touch it, to see if it was coarse or soft. I let my fingertips barely brush a lock away from his eyes. Soft. Like a bunny-rabbit's fur. His slumbering face was at ease, his breathing was even and his lips were puckered slightly in his sleep. My eyes shifted to them, full and supple.

I wondered if his lips were as soft as his hair was. For the first time, I had the strangest urge to kiss him. I touched his warm cheek with my fingertips and closed my eyes. They were slightly rough with stubble beneath my palms, but his cheekbones felt so smooth beneath my thumb. I felt myself lean towards him, with my lips parted, about to touch my lips to his.

Edward, I...

I opened my eyes and stopped myself, withdrawing my hands from his face. What was I doing? What was I thinking, anyways?

* * *

"Happy 18th birthday, Edward!" His mom called out cheerfully. Alice smiled as she joined her mom in the chorus. She danced across the floor and handed him a small, half-wrapped present and a small card decorated with colorful markers. He smiled as he overlooked the card.

"Thanks Alice!" He quickly ducked down to kiss her on the forehead although she wiped it off with her shirtsleeve in disgust then excused herself to "boil her shirtsleeve." We snickered at the little comment, but knew that their rivalry was purely friendly, and loving if anything. Claire took off from her chair and ran as fast as her chubby legs could take her, and tackled Edward in a hug. She smiled, showing her small, square teeth.

"I made you this! That way you can wear it! Here!" She grabbed Edward's shirt in her small hands, tugging it down. Edward complied, kneeling to the floor as Claire thrust a flower wreath onto his head. He smiled widely.

"Thank you, my princess." He kissed her cheek chivalrously and she giggled. When he stood, I faced him with a serious expression despite the flower wreath that sat atop his blonde, unruly head. I handed him the cross.

"I didn't believe in the supernatural until recently. You know that though," I added after noting the mischiveous twinkle in his eye. I sighed at myself, wondering why I was rambling. "I just want you to be safe." His full lips turned up in a kind smile, and it was as if we were alone in the dining room; the world had just stopped and it was just me and him again.

"Thank you." He murmured, his dark eyes were all I could see as he leaned down to kiss my cheek. My heart sped up in a ridiculous rhythm and I heard giggles from Claire and Alice, instantly reminding me of their forgotten presences.

"Happy birthday." I muttered, quickly turning away before a flush could creep onto my cheeks. It was Carlisle's turn in the congratulations. "Son, for your birthday, we're taking you on a camping trip." He was rewarded by an ecstatic grin and continued. "The van is already loaded; you and Bella have to follow us on the sparker. Can you handle it?" Edward beamed, and gave him a proud thumbs-up.

"Sure thing." Carlisle nodded.

"Then it's set. Now hurry and eat your breakfast, you two." He rubbed his hands in anticipation and left the room. We grinned as we ate our cereal. I caught Edward looking down at the necklace that was resting against his sternum, and I covered his hand with mine. He looked startled by the reaction.

"Whats this for?" he asked, motioning to my hand on his. "Not that I'm complaining," He added with a grin. My mouth went dry-I had no excuse for why I had touched him. It was like this morning, with his lips. It was a strange, unexplainable impulse to just touch him. I pulled my hand away awkwardly.

"Umm, nothing. Uh," I awkwardly tried to smile joviously. "Happy birthday?" it ended in a question and Edward smiled and winked at me.

"Sure," he agreed sarcastically. "Happy birthday to me." We both turned back to our respective cereals, until Edward turned to me. "Bella," He had the most innocent smile stretched across his face, lips turned up in pure bliss. "Today is gonna be such a great day." My blood turned to ice in my chest and I struggled to breathe. Today was the day someone was dying, but I didn't have the heart to tell him that. I struggled to return the kind expression and said dryly,

"Yeah. Today is gonna be great." I had lied. I excused myself from the table, I didn't want Edward to see the tears welling in my eyes.

* * *

"Hey, are you okay?" Edward murmured, snapping me out of my reverie as he handed me a leather jacket, appropriate for bike riding. I took the jacket reluctantly.

"Yeah. I'm fine." I replied absently, although I found myself thinking back to the foresight as I pulled the oversized jacket's sleeves through my arms.

"Are you sure?" His brow wrinkled with worry. "Was there something odd in your dreams?" I hesitated before answering, wanting nothing of my dreams to be exposed to him—especially not the part where he appeared in my dreams, again.

"Not really… It's just that something bothers me, today."

"What would that be?" He asked politely, handing me Alice's biking helmet. I took it from his hands and placed it over my head. It was a perfect fit.

"I don't know. Just a gut feeling…" I looked into his eyes as he was placing his own helmet over his head. "Edward…" I licked my dry lips before I continued. "Please, just promise me you'll be careful driving?" He nodded and gestured for me to sit on the bike before he sat himself. I cautiously lowered myself onto the seat, and he replied.

"Of course," He turned to start the engine. I observed Edward's gloved hand twist the grip throttle and heard a low rumble in response. I jolted—not expecting the bike to be that loud. Edward warned me to hang onto something; in case anything did happen, he didn't want me getting thrown off. I obliged more than willingly, and wrapped my arms tightly around his waist. I heard a chuckle in response.

"Believe it or not, Bella, the motorcycle is actually a pretty safe method of transportation." I peered over his shoulder to see a smirk curving the dark almonds of his eyes.

"Maybe when you're not driving," I muttered. My calves clenched around the motorcycle, wanting just as much as my upper body to not be thrown off. I wasn't going to admit it to anyone, but I was very scared.

"Edward? Are you ready?" Carlisle called out from the driver's seat of the van. He nodded, and Edward kicked the stand out of the bike as the van backed out of the driveway. We followed soon after, Edward had hit 30 miles per hour before we even got out of the garage.

I'll admit, Edward wasn't a bad driver, but his sharp turns did cause an involuntary reaction to my hands that made me grip his waist tighter. From the tiny mirrors in the front, I saw Edward rolling his eyes in response.

"Keep your damn eyes on the damn road!" I hissed. In turn, Edward turned the bike a little sharper than before with a snicker. If the motorcycle wasn't moving at full speed, I swear, I was going to smack him. We entered the freeway, and Edward had kicked up the speed to 65 miles per hour.

"Slow down!" I said through gritted teeth. I heard a soft chuckle, his shouldershsshook beneath my hands.

"Can't Bella, I have to match traffic." We continued at the same, unbearably fast pace. Everything aside the speed and his sharp turns were okay, though. The scenery—aside from the honking cars—wasn't bad at all. I stared at the bright blue sky, and the blinding white sun for a while.

Suddenly, everything seemed to be getting darker, and darker. Is the sky really indigo right now? Am I going crazy? My eyes turned into squints trying to see correctly, until the darkness faded into oily blackness, and I completely lost consciousness, knocking my helmet into Edward's shoulder. That was the last thing I saw before the dream took over my mind.

It was then that the foresight was unraveled—displayed, and completely unshadowed.

The vision took place in the exact freeway and lane we were driving in before I fell asleep. I seemed to be floating, completely non-existent in the dream as I could see everything stretched before me. So this was what they called a bird's eye view…

My eyes automatically searched for Claire, knowing that she was the target, and I had to protect her. I furiously darted my eyes between every car, and every bit of road, looking for any sign of her, but instead my eyes naturally focused on Edward on his Sparker. His eyes behind the helmet were not focused on the road; instead he stared directly at the van beside him.

Now I could see Edward family's van, with the license plate NSF429. From the windows, I could see a perfectly happy Claire, her tiny fingers plucking absent mindedly at the petals of the daisies Edward had given her earlier.

My eyes noted a sudden movement, and flashed to see a large black car inching closer to their van. I looked to see if the driver was paying attention to the road, but through the tinted windows, I couldn't see a thing. I immediately disregarded it, staring at Edward as his expression was contorted with horror. What on earth was he looking at?!

My eyes flashed to where he was gawking, and I saw the huge, black convertible with tinted windows that grew closer to the van. The car behind was going much too fast. Something was wrong.

In that instant, I saw the shadowy figures perched on top of the convertible. They looked like gargoyles, with their curled talons and wings, except they had piercing red eyes that glared at me. A gasp left my throat. They were the Fates.

My eyes flashed back to Edward at the last moment to see him turning sharply into the convertible.

"Edward!" I tried to scream, but no sound left my lips, and my body seemed to be nonexistent, I couldn't move.

A flash of Edward's intentions flooded my mind. He wanted to knock the convertible off of the lane, so it would avoid hitting his family's car.

Oh no. I had this all wrong.

Edward hit the convertible, successfully knocking it off course, but crushing the front of his bike with it. I sighed. He was okay. Then the Fates pulled back his bike. They were playing with Inertia.

Edward flew off the motorcycle, and hit his head on the asphalt as he landed, with an audible crack. My vision was growing dimmer and dimmer, as if all of the light was being leeched out of it. The last thing I saw in the darkness of the foresight was Edward's body at a twisted angle on the road, blood pooling around his cracked helmet.

I jolted out of the dream.

I was wrong. Claire was not what the Fates wanted. Edward was Fate's next victim. My blood turned to ice, as I realized I had to protect him, no matter what the cost.

Edward… I'm not going to let you die.

I opened my eyes, to see myself exactly where I was before I had blacked out. I was leaned against Edward's back, my head touching his broad shoulder. I craned my neck to see Edward driving single-handedly; one hand steering, the other hand holding my two hands around his stomach to keep me from falling. A flush burned my cheeks as I withdrew my hands sharply from his to grasp his body with my own strength. Edward noticed my sudden movement and replaced his hand back on the steering.

"You're awake." He sounded relived. "Are you okay?" I nodded furiously.

"Edward, I was wrong. It's you they want." He took a moment to contemplate, but still didn't understand.

"What?"

"I always thought that Alice was the target; I was wrong. It was you. Xavier, you're going to die." A silence dropped between us. It was a moment of hesitation before he finally continued.

"How did I die?"

"You were protecting Alice and your family from a car crash." I heard no response from him.

"…Are you saying…my family is going to die in place of me?" I froze, unsure of what to say.

"Edward, your death is the not inevitable here. I promise I'll do whatever it takes to protect you."

"I don't want you to protect me!" He sounded angry, and the muscles in his sides tensed beneath my hands. "I want you to protect my family! I swear, Bella, if you let them die instead of me-"

He was abruptly cut off by the sound of an engine revving, loudly. I turned around, and my eyes widened in horror. The car tailgating us was a monstrous, black convertible, the same one as the one in my foresight.

The fates had possessed the driver, I was completely sure of it.

The car inched even closer to us, and I sucked in a breath.

"Edward?" He turned his head at the sound of my voice, and his eyes widened as he saw how dangerously close the convertible behind us was. Edward pushed the engine harder-the metal of the bike burned between my calves in response. Seeing that the car behind us was not going to stop, I instinctively turned to Xavier.

"Edward, move!" I yelled over the engine's hum and the squealing tires. Edward narrowly missed the car veering towards us as he turned into the next lane of the freeway. His turn was too sharp, and we slid onto the road. I whirled around to see a mustang headed to hit us. Not knowing what to do, at the last second, I grasped Edward's body in my arms, hoping to God I could protect him from this.

The unsuspecting Mustang was much more powerful than the small Sparker, and the Mustang crashed us from behind, pushing us aside effortlessly.

I heard the crunching of my ribs on impact with the car, and gasped in a breath. I kept my arms wrapped tight around Edward.

Edward and I had crashed sideways, our legs were trapped under his Sparker. I was vaguely aware that we were spinning out of control, knocked out of the lane by the huge Mustang.

All I knew was that when the sky had finally stopped spinning, I was both dazed and disoriented.

"Edward!" His eyes were closed, his body was heavy in my arms.

"Edward?" P_lease, please let him be okay. I'm begging you, wake up!_

His dark eyelashes fluttered open and he bolted up from my lap.

We didn't have the time to gasp in a breath as we both looked up in time to see the swerving car and the Cullen's van colliding, the windows of the van shattered, sending shards of glass flying in the air. I heard the glass shatter as a figure was thrown against it, and flew out of the car, and head-first onto the concrete.

"ALICE!" Edward cried a bloodcurdling scream that made me want to cry. But I couldn't move.

All in the same, torturously long second, blood spattered across the windshield from the inside as the van flipped over after colliding with the car. Both cars instantaneously burst into flames.

I turned to see a horrified Edward. He stared at the catastrophe with wide eyes, confounded and shell-shocked. His amazing, inhuman reflexes seemed turned off-he didn't even try to get up. I kicked the bike out from our legs and darted to the van despite the aches in my ribcage. I almost ripped the door off of the van as I heaved it open.

Claire was limp, her delicate body was slumped over, trapped in her car seat. Her dainty hands were still clutching the flowers she had given Edward earlier. Edward had followed me from behind, his eyes were distant as he took in Claire's pitifully frail form.

"…Claire?" He whispered, his voice barely audible against the roaring of the flames. I furiously ripped the seat belt with my teeth, gathering her in my arms as gently as I could. Her forehead was inflamed and swollen on one side. I turned her over to Edward. Despite his initial shock, he instinctively kneeled beside her, gently taking Claire's wrists in his hands. "She's alive," He sighed in relief.

I heard the sirens before I could react, and Edward and I both froze.

"Back out of the van slowly and put your hands up!"

We slowly stepped out of the van to see three police cars surrounding us. They all had guns aimed at us.

"Put your hands up!" They demanded. Edward and I slowly put our hands up. We both exchanged nervous glances. We both had blood on our hands. We were both part of an accident, partially, and the only surviving people in it. To the police surrounding us, we were guilty, weren't we?


	21. I'm Sorry What else can I Say?

"Put your hands up!" They demanded. Edward and I slowly put our hands up. We both exchanged nervous glances, we both knew we were in trouble. We both had blood on our hands. We were both part of an accident, (partially,) and the only surviving people in it. To the police surrounding us, we were completely guilty, weren't we?

"Who was the driver of the motorcycle?" A policeman with beady eyes asked in an eerily calm voice.

"Me." Edward stated simply. My mouth fell agape and my eyes widened. _No, Edward, no! This accident was my fault! Dont blame yourself! And even worse, don't cover for me! _I closed my eyes so I wouldn't have to see Edward being handcuffed to the police car. I heard his sigh defeatedly. "You." I snapped my eyes open and the man with the beady eyes was now staring at me. I caught the name "Swan" on his jackesleeve. Despite how badly this situation was going I couldn't help but hope that was a good omen. His beady eyes trained on me. "You were on the motorcycle with him?" I didn't admit to anything, but I gave them a curt nod anyways.

After one police office was behind each of our backs, adjusting out handcuffs, (to them it was precautionary restraint,) the officers questioned us once more. We both slumped lethargically as two officers asked us of we were armed. "No." I sighed bitterly. After Cheif Swan had given each of them a nod, they finally lowered their guns.

"Stay here," He warned severely and I feverishly bobbed my head in a nod.

Edward's eyes snapped up as he saw the paramedic team take Claire away from the car in a gurney. Her eyes were closed, she was so still, barely breathing.

"No! Claire!" Edward shouted desperately, trying to twist his way out of the handcuffs, but failing, only straining his wrists. As he struggled, I saw dark red drip down his fingers. "Claire!" He shouted again in agony. He growled an utter cry of sadness and frustration in the back of his throat until he hung his head again. I wanted to wrap his arms around him, but only managed to brush my shoulder against his. He leaned his forehead against my shoulder-he seemed to need the support. Now the paramedics had laid white sheets over Alice, Esme and Carlisle. I looked towards Edward, but his eyes appeared glassy, unseeing.

Chief Swan questioned Edward's motive customarily, and after hearing the truth, coming from Edward's remorseful tone, with his sad eyes to confirm the story, the officers exchanged glances, embarrassed they even held guns to us. "I'm very sorry for your loss." They each muttered towards Edward.

The questioning for me ended quickly, to my relief. They didn't even bother writing my name down in their records (not that they'd find my name in the records, anyways.)

We were soon free from the handcuffs and given a ride home in the back of the police car. Once we were in the quiet coolness of the car, I turned to examine Edward for the first time. He didn't notice my glance as I inspected his face. He was pale, and his jacket sleeve had been torn (rubbed down by asphalt,) exposing a horribly severe road rash. His lower lip was bleeding where he'd bit into it. A sigh escaped his bleeding lip and his brown eyes were clouded with grief. He rubbed his wrists, that became raw from the handcuffs.

I wanted to hold him, comfort him in any way that could possibly make him feel better, and stretched out a hand to touch him.

Then I withdrew my hand. I had caused him this sadness. If I had figured out that the target was Edward earlier, maybe...

The rest of my thoughts were morbid, and I looked down to the floor, wanting to block out the thoughts. The car gently pulled to a stop, snapping me out of my own thoughts and I looked up to see that we were already at Edward home. The doors to the backseat opened, letting us free. Edward stepped out of the car, without a word. I was going to do the same, but the officer named Swan had turned to me sternly and cleared his throat.

"You keep a good eye on him." I nodded and cleared my thick throat enough to speak.

"I will." Edward was already at the door of the house. He took in a deep breath before he shuffled in.

The same home that looked bright and cheery just hours ago was now dull and nothing but a silent torture to us. Every family photo, every piece of furniture held the memory of the Cullens in them, somehow, in one way or another. It was nothing but silent torture.

Edward walked slowly up the stairs as if he were in a trance, his eyes were lowered so he wouldn't have to face any of the memories that surrounded the house. I followed him from a distance, not wanting to disturb him. He finally turned into his room, and sat on the side of his bed, with his head in his hands.

I didn't dare to meet his eye as I walked past his room on my toes, to enter the silence of Alice's room. I closed the door slowly behind me as my knees buckled out from under me, and I lowered myself onto the carpet on the other side of the door, in a crying mess. I bit my lips, hoping Edward wouldn't hear me. Every piece of the room was a silent memory of Alice. I looked at her bed that was now empty, her closet with the clothes that she was never going to wear again, and to her schoolbag, with all of the books and her diary hidden inside that she was never going to finish. Even her penny collection in the glass jar would forever remain half empty.

_This is all your fault, it's all your fault…_ Every individual piece of the room seemed to scream at me at once. I lowered my face into my hands, wanting to block out everything in the room. I remembered Edward's last words to me before the crash had happened. "I swear, Bella, if you let them die instead of me-" I stifled a sob with my hand, but to my dismay, I cried until there were no tears left in me.

I don't know how much time had passed, but when I finally looked up from my hands, the windows had no light to let in; it was already nightfall.

Edward. My first thought was Edward. The least I could do was check if he was okay. I stood on my legs that felt like sticks of lead, ready to snap at any moment and trudged to his room. The door was open but I knocked on the door frame anyways.

"Come in," He rasped. His voice was rough with crying. I walked into the room to find Edward in the same position he was in, hours ago, with his head in his hands and his torn jacket still on him. I didn't bother asking if he was okay. How could he possibly be okay? That was a foolish question.

"Your jacket is torn," I said lamely, barely recognizing my rough voice. He nodded, not looking up. "Let me see," I whispered. I put my hands onto his shoulders hesitantly, giving him the opportunity to shrug me off if he wanted to. He didn't. I slowly zipped his jacket down and removed it from his shoulders, being careful to avoid the hurt side.

When the jacket was off, I bit my lip hard so I wouldn't cry. His arm was black and blue, blood oozed from the area that was raw. His bruises went past the t-shirt he was wearing and I quietly asked him if I could remove it. He had nodded and lifted his arms obediently. I took off his shirt and a cry left my throat. His body's entire left side was bruised, and it was especially bad near his ribs. _Could it be...?_ There was blue bruise in the familiar shape of a hand. My hand. I noiced that he ironically still had on the cross I had given to him, hours ago. "I want you to be safe," I had murmured. _Damn the Gods, _I now thought bitterly._ You hurt Edward, the only person I ever cared about. _Then I faltered. I had hurt Edward. Not whatever God that may or may not be there. Guilt overwhelmed me until I could barely breathe.

I gently placed a hand against his rib cage, and he winced.

"I'm sorry," I murmured, and gave him my diagnosis. "You have two broken ribs." He didn't react. "Can I...May I... Clean this?" He nodded. I went into the bathroom and returned with the nessesary supplies. I set them down beside him, on the bed. "Edward?" He didn't look at me. "I know this is going to hurt, but stay as still as you can, okay?" He nodded.

I wiped his face clean with a warm towel, and his eyes closed. I moved down, moving to his shoulder, where the road rash was. When he was clean, I applied the antiseptic. He winced and gritted his teeth. All I could do was apologize for the pain I was causing him. It was the only thing I could do.

After his ribs were wrapped, I removed his shoes and helped him lay back in bed. He did so with a wince, and once again I mumbled my apologies. I pulled the covers up to his chin, and tucked him in. His face was almost confused, as if he were about to ask me why I wasn't sleeping beside him tonight.

"Goodnight, Edward." I rushed, before awkward conversation could take place. I turned off his lamp and left his room. I wandered downstairs and into the library. I lay down on the couch numbly.

_I would stay here tonight._ I decided firmly to myself, despite my selfish ache to be with Edward. He needed to be left alone._ No other choice you could give him,_ the rational side of my mind reasoned.

_You're the reason he is alone._

I lay on the couch, staring at the ceiling as my eyes leaked tears I hardly noticed anymore. After all, with every tear, it screamed the same thing._ This is all your fault._

* * *

"Bella?" A soft voice echoed, hours later. I shrugged it off, knowing it was just a dream as the voice whispered again, "Are you awake?" I thought it was Dawn calling me, then I realized this was a male's voice. Edward stood in the door of the library, with his shirt off, and his bandages still wrapped around his black and blue ribs. I sat up immediately, rubbing any remnants of tears off my face.

"Oh, Edward." I said, but I didn't recognize my husky voice.

"Bella, why aren't you sleeping in my room tonight?" His eyes were puffy and swollen, as I'm sure mine were, but neither of us mentioned the elephant in the room, especially not in the thick silence that surrounded us.

"I thought you might want some time... By yourself." I couldn't bring myself to meet his eyes.

"Bella." He breathed thickly, and cleared his throat. "Can I sleep here tonight, please?" my eyes widened. He wasn't mad at me?

"If you want to." I scooted over to the other side of the couch as Edward climbed onto the couch. He was looking down, biting down on his mouth. I reached over for a blanket. "Do you want a quilt? Or a blanket?"

Then I felt his arms abruptly grab me from behind. His bare body was shaking against mine, and I knew he was crying. I bit my lips, trying my hardest not to cry, and to keep a stoic front. I used to be so good at it.

"A-are you okay?" I managed to choke out. I moved in his arms so I could hold him against me.

He took in a slow, shuddering breath, like he was going to protest. Then he sobbed into my chest, his shudders shook my body. They rattled through my heart. "Edward?" He didn't even look up. His tears had rolled down my neck, and chest, and had soaked into my nightgown. Edward's usually comfortably warm body felt ice-cold. I clutched him tighter, hoping I could warm him up a little.

Edward, who always smiled kindly, so optimistically, who always saw the brighter side of things was now crying. I wasn't sure how to comfort him, so I just held him, smoothed his hair with my fingers, and wiped away his tears. He cried until he fell into a restless sleep, with the tears still on his face.

I smiled sadly as I gazed at his slumbering face. It was always when he slept that he seemed peaceful. Was he dreaming about Alice? Claire? I ran my fingers through his soft hair, and leaned down to whisper in his ear,

"I'm so sorry, Edward," my own tears slipped down my face now. "I didn't mean for this to happen, any of this. From my intrusion into your life, to the death of your family... I swear, if I could disappear and take your sorrow with me, I would." If only I had the courage to say this to him while he was awake. "I care about you so much, Edward." Although there were still tears on his face, he seemed to be in a little less pain. I felt the strange feeling I had felt before the accident had happened-the sudden urge to want to touch him, and kiss him. To express this unspoken connection with him through touch, and possibly even comfort him.

I placed my hand on his face, like I had this morning. It didn't feel familiar, because this morning was so long ago, but I leaned in to kiss him anyways. I closed my eyes and kissed the corner of his mouth, just missing his lips, like he had done earlier.

"I'm so sorry, Edward."


	22. I Love You

I awoke at the break of dawn, by habit and I found myself gazing into Edward's sleeping face. His eyes were closed, revealing nothing of last night. _Maybe it was just a bad dream. Maybe none of this ever happened, _I tried to convince myself, closing my eyes once more. My hand gingerly wandered up my neck to feel a fine, powdery salt that Edward's tears had left behind. _Stop trying to avoid reality. It really happened. Get over it._ I bit my lip as the tears that welled in my eyes almost spilled. The memories of last night drowned me, and I rolled over in bed, almost sick to my stomach. _Edward. _I_ destroyed his life._

My eyes snapped open as I heard Edward's feet padding a soft rhythm across the carpet as he dragged himself to the bathroom. Half sleep-walking; he didn't seem to notice my presence; (I was very thankful for that—I knew I couldn't face him without guilt sweeping over me.) His lidded eyes were half mast and I watched him stifle a yawn. He looked so young under the silver halo of the window; it revealed soft shadows that florescent lights usually took away. I wondered if he always looked like this in the mornings.

Then that moment was over. He shut the bathroom door behind him and I was left on his bed, surrounded by the remnants of memories he left. I wanted to scold myself for even imagining a future with Edward. _He has no future now._ I reminded myself bitterly. _I just ruined it._

Standing, I gathered my meager belongings. I hoped to pack away my things before he finished using the facilities. I laid out my belongings on the floor, staring at them for a moment. They lay on the floor like silent guardians, the three objects.

Claire's violin, my old teddy bear, the picture of Edward and I.

I replaced the violin into the hollow of the case and fumbled with the locks on it. _Claire's never did play this for herself..._ I snapped the case shut as if the fragments of memories could be shut and locked within the case as well. My worn teddy bear with the shining button eyes; a gift I had received many years ago from Dawn. _How many nights had I fallen asleep with this clutched in my arms?_ The picture from Edward. I imagined his voice, and the smile that came with his words._"Take it. I want you to have it."_

I stared at them for a moment longer until I thrust them into my bag. Lost in my own thoughts, my eyes flashed up to the movement at the doorway. It was Edward, his eyes locked on mine.

Edward stared at me coolly from across the room, his eyes roaming over my packed backpack and violin case. As he casually leaned against the door frame, he winced a little, and I couldn't help but stare at the bandages around the ribs that I had broken, at the purple bruise that was left in the shape of my hand. He shook his head, blonde strands of hair falling into his eyes.

"So, you're leaving?"

"Look," I said, surprised to find my throat raw, "I think that it's pretty obvious. You don't need me around anymore. I'm leaving as soon as I possibly can." I avoided his eyes, slinging the bag across my shoulder and plucking the violin case off the floor.

I had turned to the door, to leave, when Edward's voice held me back.

"Well, what if I still want you around?" He murmured.

"How…. Could you still want me around?" I asked through gritted teeth. "I tried to do my job, and I failed. I killed your sisters, your mother, and your father." I couldn't look at him anymore. I turned so he wouldn't see my source of shame. Silent tears, hot and insistent streamed down my face.

"But you saved me." His sorry words were quiet, almost a whisper.

"So—so, what! I saved you!? I saved you so you could be alone?! So you could cry yourself to sleep?" Hysterical, my voice grew higher and shriller. "So you can be pushed into an orphanage or die on the streets?!" Stabbing a pointed finger towards the window, I gestured in the direction of the abandoned Cheshire Cat Hotel. If it were possible, my voice rose another decibel.

"You did your job." He corrected me sternly. "Your job was to save me and you did it!"

"I CAN'T LOOK AT YOUR FACE, WITHOUT SEEING CLAIRE, ALICE, CARLILSE, AND ESME!" I screamed. Edward's nostrils flared in anger, built mostly off of my own, and he lost all of his composure.

"YOU THINK THAT DOESN'T BOTHER ME, EITHER?!" He yelled back, and I finally turned towards him, shocked to see the tears that shone in his miserable eyes.

"I KNOW IT DOES, THAT'S WHY I CAN'T STAND TO WATCH YOU CRY ALONE FOR THEM—BECAUSE OF ME!" I exclaimed. I took a deep breath to compose myself and continued apologetically, "I'm sorry. I just... I don't know what I can do to ease your pain."

"Then don't leave me alone!" He cried and I froze. "Please…" He begged. "Don't leave me alone." He approached me slowly, putting his hand on the strap of my bag. I didn't shake his hand off. I wanted to, but I couldn't bring myself to harm him anymore than I already had.

"Why would you want me?" I asked quietly. "I have absolutely nothing to give you; I'm a murderer, a thief. What could I possibly offer you at this point?" _I already ruined your life._

"Remember the night the fates broke in and tried to attack you in your sleep?" He asked.

"Yes, of course, but what does that—" He cut me off.

"Just listen—" He said patiently. "Do you remember the time you showed me where you lived, for the first time?"

"Yes."

"Okay," He paused, breathing in thickly. "Do you remember last night, when I came to you? Even as I cried like a little girl—you held me." I stiffened at the memory.

"Yes. What does any of that have to do with my question?"

"We," My heart thumped at the word, though I knew it shouldn't have. "-got through all of that together. I could have abandoned you at any one of those times, and you could have ran away, too, any time you wanted. It was our choice to be together. We didn't have to, but we did." Time seemed to stop, and suddenly all there was Edward. And me. Us. Studying my face, he continued.

"I don't see why you have to run away now. Especially now, when I need you most." His words were almost accusing, I felt daggers carve marks of guilt across my heart. Edward continued, his voice held a slightly embarrassed tone. "I uh, heard what you said last night." My eyes widened, I wasn't sure what to say.

"What? I-I thought you were asleep." I stammered. I felt a flush burn my cheeks as I muttered, "How much did you hear?"

"Pretty much all of it," He admitted. I groaned. "Enough to hear you say that you cared about me, 'a lot.'" He used air quotations. "Is that true?"

"Is what true?" I asked blankly.

"That you care about me. Did you mean it?" I felt myself nod slowly against my own will. _It's more than just "a lot" Edward._ My mind wandered back to the kiss I had brushed by his lips. _Were you awake for that, too? _Edward sensed my tension and changed the subject lightly. "Moving back to previous matters, do you want to know why _I_ stayed with you?" I looked down at my bare feet.

"Because you pity me?" I asked softly. I bitterly accepted the truth. After all, what more could I do? I couldn't take back my feelings for Edward now that I had admitted to them. Edward shook his head.

"No." He murmured. "I don't pity you." He slipped the strap of the backpack off of my shoulder, and set it down to the ground, gently. His hand returned to my arm, and slid up my neck, then settled to cup my cheek. "I stayed with you because I love you."

My breath caught at the words, there was no air left in my lungs. _He cares, too. _Edward's hand that caressed my cheek tilted my face up, and he leaned in to kiss my lips softly, just barely brushing them against mine. For the one moment our lips touched, I felt everything yet nothing but him at the same time.

It might have only lasted a second, or perhaps it lasted for hours, but all I knew was he pulled away too soon. I opened my eyes to find him gazing into my eyes through dark eyelashes; the chocolate of his eyes added overwhelming warmth to his expression.

I parted my lips to speak, although I wasn't quite sure what to say; but I didn't dare say the three words back. Even if my mouth could've formed the words, I still wouldn't have said it. Maybe I didn't want to risk saying anything—I didnt want this moment to end. All I could think about was being lost in Edward's confession (and no matter how much I wanted to deny it, his kiss.)

For the first time, though, I didn't feel like I needed to say anything. So I didn't. And with that, Edward wordlessly brushed his thumb over my lips, and padded out of the room. I slowly lowered myself onto the floor, hugging my knees for what seemed to be hours.

Finally, my numb fingers unlocked the metal clasps on the violin case. I tucked the violin under my chin and started playing, letting the melody of Claire's songs reverberate and dance across the white walls. The mixed emotions within me kept stirring, changing between sorrow, angst, confusion, a slight happiness, and strangely, yet ultimately an overwhelming feeling: relief. All I could think about now was Edward, and the warmth of his lips on mine; how I wanted to feel it again and again.

**Yahoo! We finally got the L word in here! don't worry, there will be more. Id like to thank every single reader (350 views in 3 days-yaaay) and ask to drop a comment whether it be fabulous or horrendous. Thanks again!**

**Squid**


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